My Side of the Story
by passivestrength
Summary: The continuation of Breaking Dawn chapters 8-19; but from Bella's POV. Read the pregnancy and monumental changes in the wolf pack from inside of her head, as we've all come to know so well. Please read and review, and enjoy!
1. Stubborn

8. STUBBORN

The flight back to Houston seemed to drag on forever. Edward said very little, and though he held me the entire time, I could feel his distance. His muscles were strained, standing out on his pale arms. Every time my nudger gave a little thump, I gasped, and a low and menacing growl erupted from his throat.

A quick glance around the cabin informed me that most of the passengers were asleep, so no attention was drawn to Edward's visibly hostile behavior. I was overwhelmingly grateful, as I often was, that he couldn't read my mind. If he knew of the plans I'd made with Rosalie…I didn't even want to think about what his reaction would be. I shuddered slightly, and his arms tightened around me in response.

"It's alright, Bella," he whispered into my ear, his tone severe. "This will all be over soon, I promise. And everything will return to the way it should be."

I didn't respond. I knew he was just thinking of me, of my safety, and that worried me a little. Did he really think that our baby was dangerous? That it could harm me?

My nudger thumped lightly, as if to answer my questions, and I sighed.

_I know there's nothing dangerous about you_, I thought, gently running my hand across my stomach. _Don't worry; I won't let him take you away from me._

Edward tensed around me, and my heart rattled audibly. I had to remind myself that it wasn't my thoughts that had caused his reaction.

"What is it?" I whispered, glancing up at him.

He wasn't looking at me; his face was turned to the right, his eyes locked on something across the cabin. I followed his gaze; just quick enough to see a young man, about in his early thirties, swiftly look away from me. I frowned, and glanced back at Edward.

"Why was he staring at me?" I asked. "Tell me what he was thinking."

It took him a minute to control himself enough to answer. I waited anxiously, biting on my bottom lip, until his lips finally pulled back slightly.

"He was watching you, watching us," Edward responded through gritted teeth. "He noticed you were…pregnant" – he said the word with harsh bitterness – "seeing the way that you stroked your stomach. He thinks you're so young, thinks I knocked you up or forced you or something ridiculous like that." His nostrils flared and his teeth ground together with an audible snap.

"Oh." Of course Edward would react to that. I would too – I never took judgment well. And I knew he took it with even less grace than I did, especially when it was directed toward me.

I placed my hand on top of his and stroked it reassuringly. "It's alright," I whispered, my eyes still on his face. "We know that's not what happened at all. Isn't that what matters the most?"

"It _should_ be," he growled.

I sighed. "Edward, don't worry about what other people think. It's none of their business."

How odd that I was the one reassuring him now. Little over a month ago, he had been the one telling _me_ not to worry about the judgment our marriage would receive. Ha ha. I could almost laugh at how monumental that fear had seemed. And then as soon as I'd reached him at the end of the aisle, every insignificant speck of that worry had disappeared.

This time I really had reason to worry. It was strange that I was so at ease. At least, for now. It was one thing to get married so young (at eighteen for crying out loud!), but to have a baby at that same age…? I should be having an emotional breakdown right about now.

I'd never be able to look Charlie in the face again. And Renée! It would absolutely destroy her to learn that her enormously mature daughter that she'd put her entire life into was making the exact same mistake that she made eighteen years ago. Of course, she would never admit that it was a mistake. She claimed I was the best thing that ever happened to her, and she wouldn't be the person she was today if I didn't exist. I'm sure she'd be a whole lot better off.

No one could ever know about this. I _would_ have this baby; I had no intention of letting Edward take my nudger away. But during the months while I waited for his arrival, I would have to remain locked up in the Cullen's house. No visits, no phone calls, let the world think I had died from some strange South American disease.

And once our child was born, Edward would change me. And then I would have an even greater reason to remain distanced from the normal, human world. I'd already spent weeks preparing myself for the separation, but it still wasn't going to be easy. Knowing that I was less than twenty minutes away from my father, but unable to see him ever again. I'd thought about this fact for a long time before, and it still hit me with the same insurmountable force. And my poor, poor mother. Losing me would be like losing her entire life; all her memories, all her hopes and dreams. It ripped me up to know how much pain I would be forced to inflict on her. And Jacob…oh Jake. My breath caught in the back of my throat.

I tried to shake the depressing thoughts from my head as my eyes began to fill with tears. The last thing I needed was for Edward to see me crying. I didn't need anyone else to feel my misery; that was strictly my burden.

I tried to focus on the positive. I was married to Edward. Actually, legally bound to him for eternity. He was _mine._ I loved him with an inexplicably powerful and illogical fervor, and for some completely nonsensical reason, he loved me back in that same way. We were going to have a baby together. That in itself was an absolute miracle. I was going to be a mother, and he would be a father. How could things get any better than that?

I was pulled from my daze as Edward leaned his head onto my shoulder, pressing his lips against the bare skin there. It was remarkably hot on the plane - as hot as it was on Isle Esme, even with Edward's cool arms wrapped around me – and I was dressed in a deep red spaghetti-strapped dress made of light cotton that allowed me to breathe and move easily.

"What are you thinking?" he asked. His voice was still not quite his own, but it was looser than before. My tensed body relaxed a bit in his firm hold.

"Oh, nothing new," I said, lifting my hand behind my head so I could run it through his tousled bronze hair. "Just the usual."

"The usual being…?"

I shrugged. "Life in general. Our crazy life." I laughed quietly, careful not to wake our fellow passengers.

He sighed. "Yes, we do have quite an extraordinary existence, don't we?"

"Yes." I smiled. "But I wouldn't have it any other way."

His face softened at my words, and he brought his head up to kiss me softly on my lips. As always, my heart spluttered and a dark blush spread across my face. He pulled away a moment later, and smiled at my breathless expression. My nudger kicked inside me, as if the sudden rush of adrenaline had woken him from a semi-peaceful rest.

Edward's smile disappeared as I placed my hand on my stomach and rubbed it gently. I looked away from his furious and agonized stare, and instead focused on the golden band that now rested on my left hand. Instead of the overwhelmingly beautiful diamond engagement ring that used to reside on my third finger, a simpler, but still beautiful ring took its place. Elizabeth Masen's ring was now on my right hand, where it would stay for eternity.

My wedding ring was a thin gold band, sprinkled with diamonds that glittered brightly in even the dimmest light. Carved into the inside of the band were the words _forever, my love_ in Italian. Edward's ring had an identical inscription.

I twisted the ring around on my finger, watching the diamonds sparkle. I could feel Edward's eyes on me, but I didn't look up at him. I was still afraid of what I might see in his gaze.

I heard him sigh. "Bella, you should really try to get some sleep. It's getting late."

"I don't need sleep," I mumbled.

"Yes you do."

"I'm not tired."

I felt his head return to my shoulder. "Very well then." His cool breath on my skin sent a slight shiver down my spine.

I stared out the window on my left, watching the quickly darkening clouds roll by at impossible speeds. Blackness would soon replace the vibrant purple-red the sky was currently dyed. Edward's arms tightened around me, and I felt him bury his face further into my shoulder and neck. I sighed and laced my hand around his, waiting for the hours to disappear and the plane to touch the earth, bringing us one step closer to home.

* * *

The moment we were in the air, departing from Houston International, Edward insisted again on my getting some sleep. In the airport, I'd been stumbling about a bit, but that was perfectly normal for me, especially after having sat for fourteen hours straight. But at least the lack of movement had allowed me to avoid getting sick, at least until we'd landed. I'd had to dart to the nearest restroom without even the chance to worry about tripping and falling, which I only did once. When I'd staggered out a few minutes later, Edward was pacing outside the door like a madman, his fingers knotted in his hair, a list of profanities streaming from his mouth. He looked like he'd be crying if he could. I didn't know whether to slap him or hug him. Of course, hitting him wouldn't really do anything but hurt _me_, and give him something else to curse about. He worried far too much for his own good.

I buried my head against his chest now, one of my hands latched onto his shirt. I was curled up in his lap, reconsidering his plea for me to rest. I yawned and then groaned, the sound muffled against his chest. I felt his gentle hand stoke the back of my head, his fingers running through my thick hair from where it started to where it ended around my waist.

"Sleep now, Bella," he said in his soft, velvet voice. "I'll wake you when we're home."

"Home," I murmured serenely.

He smiled. "Yes, sweetheart, we're going home. Where you can rest and where everything can be set back to normal."

I frowned, my eyes now closed. "Normal?"

He sighed, and my frown deepened. I knew what he was thinking and I opened my mouth to protest, but he put his hand over it, cutting me off. I opened my eyes and fixed a glare up at him, trying to silently communicate my disapproval for his stubbornness on the topic of our child. However, he simply gazed at me for a moment, and his expression lightened considerably. He laughed quietly, and I couldn't possibly imagine what could be funny.

"What?" I hissed through my teeth.

He brushed his cool fingers across my cheek and said, "Do you have any idea how adorable you look when you're cross?"

I pouted in response, and narrowed my tired eyes. The effect probably wasn't that of which it would be when I was fully awake. Nonetheless, Edward's smile spread across his face and he leaned down to kiss me. I kissed him back automatically, instantly forgetting that I was annoyed with him. He had so much power over me, it was pathetic.

As always, I got a little too into the kiss, and he was forced to push me away. I didn't understand how there could still be boundaries after Isle Esme, but apparently Edward did and I didn't possess the motivation to argue the point. At least not now. My sigh turned into another yawn as a fresh wave of exhaustion hit me. Finding out you were going to have a baby was stressful work.

"Bella, really. Sleep," Edward pleaded. "I promise it will do you good."

"Hmmm….okay. But will you promise _me_ something first?"

"Anything."

I smiled slightly. "Will you promise to keep an open mind?" I reached down and gently patted my stomach, but then returned my grasp to his shirt.

I didn't want to spark a violent argument, but at the same time, I needed some small sense of relief before I could fall to my dreams. And the only way I could get that was if he said yes.

He didn't say anything for a long time. I glanced up at his face after a minute; worried.

"Edward?"

He sighed. "I'm sorry, Bella, but I'm not sure if I can do that."

"Why not? You promised."

"I know I did." He frowned. "But I didn't mean to. Your request…that's just not something that I can decide on my own."

"He's your son," I murmured, beginning to doze off. "You should be able to make your own decision without Carlisle's advice."

There was silence again; this time even longer. I waited for him to answer, but he didn't, and I only continued to drift further and further away.

The last thing I heard before I fell asleep was Edward murmur a statement so low that I could barely understand it. But I did, and his words cut me like knives as I fell into a restless slumber. The relief I'd been hoping for wasn't there.

"That thing is not my son. It's a monster."

* * *

(A/N:) It's always bugged me that we never knew for sure what was going on in Bella's head during that whole chunk of Breaking Dawn. So, with a bit of her help, and all my free time (which happens to be A LOT of time), I decided to write it myself. So, in case you're wondering why it starts with chapter 8, that's because it's a continuation of the book from her point of view ^-^ I hope you like it!


	2. Homecoming

9. HOMECOMING

"I thought that was our last plane," I said as I followed Edward through the throng of people in the busy terminal of Seattle-Tacoma Airport. Even at four in the morning, it was packed. But, of course that was to be expected in an international airport.

"We're flying into Port Angeles," he replied, grabbing my hand and pulling me through the stampede. "Carlisle will pick us up there and drive us back home."

"Home." I smiled, even though he couldn't see. "That's right; your house is my real home now." My heart fluttered at the thought.

He turned back to glance at me, and smiled when he saw the contentment on my face. "It always has been, Bella. Ever since I first brought you there."

"Well, now it's official."

"Yes, Mrs. Cullen, it is indeed."

My smile was radiant; I still wasn't used to my new name, and still felt the overwhelming rush of pleasure and adrenaline when he called me by it. I tightened my fingers around his. My other hand was gripped on the handle of the bulbous suitcase Alice had packed for me; Edward dragged his suitcase in addition to another of my bags with his other hand.

While I had come to grow used to the silks and laces that had made up the majority of my wardrobe on Isle Esme – I was still going to have to talk to Alice about that – I was enormously looking forward to slipping on my favorite pair of sweats the minute we were through the door. But, of course, I doubted that I would be able to do that easily. A light kick from my nudger reminded me that I had far more enormous things to worry about than comfortable clothes.

We were silent for the rest of the distance to our final terminal. I was deep in thought; and I suspected that Edward was, too, as he never glanced back at me again. It wasn't until we were on the plane, settling into our seats, that he broke the silence. There had just been nothing important to say, and of course I wasn't exactly great at coming up with things to talk about.

"Bella," he started in a somber voice. "This is very important, so please pay attention."

I didn't like his dark mood; I gave him a lopsided grin and replied, "I can do that."

He rolled his eyes and chuckled quietly. "I'm serious, Bella."

"Alright, fine. I'm listening."

"First things first, make sure that you have everything ready when we land. I don't want to waste any time; we need to get to Carlisle as quickly as possible."

"Edward, you do realize that the plane hasn't even taken off yet, right?"

He sighed. "Yes, I know. But this is a short flight. It will be over before you know it."

I nodded. "I know. This was one of my flights when I was moving up to Forks last year."

"The start of it all…" He grinned and shook his head. I had to smile, too.

"Anyway, keep going," I prompted.

"Alright, so, you realize that Carlisle is the only one that knows about…" He didn't finish, but I knew what he meant. I thought of Rosalie, and felt a brief twinge of guilt.

"Yes. But the others are going to have to find out sooner or later."

He sighed again. "Oh, believe me. They'll know within minutes. Nothing stays a secret long in our house."

"But that's a good thing," I concluded. "We don't want them freaking out about it for a long time."

"They won't have the chance to." His voice was confident. "As I said, as soon as we get home, Carlisle and I will take care of everything. You won't have to worry about that thing harming you ever again."

"Edward!" I was appalled. "Don't say that."

"I'm sorry, but I told you I can't keep an open mind. I'm not going to take risks with you, Bella. The ones we took during the past two weeks were by far enough."

"It was worth it," I mumbled under my breath.

His expression instantly softened, and he reached out to lightly stroke my cheek.

"Of course it was," he murmured. "It was the most amazing experience I've had in my entire life." He dropped his hand. "But it was irresponsible, and wrong. We still should have waited."

"We were married," I said, reminding him in case he'd forgotten.

"That's not what I meant. You're still human; it was incredibly selfish of me to take you as I did. I could have killed you so easily."

"But you didn't," I replied quickly, narrowing my eyes. We'd had this conversation far too many times, and it always ended the same way; him feeling remorse for the nonexistent consequences that could have, but didn't occur. We had sex. I survived. And, more than that, I was pregnant now. Everything had turned out fine. End of story.

He sighed, seeing in my expression that I was done having this conversation. He looked away, out the window, as the plane accelerated down the runway, rearing for takeoff.

I yawned; still exhausted despite the five hours of sleep I'd managed on our previous flight. It really had been stupid of me not to take advantage of the long fourteen hour flight from Rio. Edward should have pushed me harder.

I leaned my head against his shoulder now, letting my eyes close as the plane left the ground. I didn't mind flying, on the contrary I rather liked it, but the takeoffs and landings always gave me a bit of a headache.

I felt Edward wrap his arm around me, and I moved closer, dropping my head to his chest and snuggling into him. He rubbed my back soothingly, and I let out a content sigh.

"You must be so tired," he murmured a second later, kissing the top of my head.

"Mmmmm." I didn't feel like giving a full response; I knew he understood.

"I wish I could remember what it feels like to be truly and genuinely worn out. I always feel so bad for keeping you up so late."

"It's not your fault," I mumbled back. "It's my choice to stay up. And in this case…well, in this case I don't know if there's an alternative where I'm not sleep deprived."

He chuckled. "Isle Esme had a lot of different things to do. I wanted you to experience them all."

"Yeah, let's play the 'overwork Bella to the point of death with swimming and sightseeing and parading around on the beach for hours' game. What fun!" My sarcasm was pathetic; I could barely force even the slightest teasing malice into my tone.

He laughed again; shaking his head. "But wasn't it fun?"

"Stupid distractions," I answered. "I know the real reason you did all that to me."

He rolled his eyes. "It was only for the first week or so."

"_Week_," I scoffed.

"That's not even half of the time we were there. Stop complaining."

"I'm not complaining," I said through another yawn.

He paused to watch me, and then sighed. "I know. You can sleep a bit more, love. I'll wake you."

"No," I mumbled. "No point. Flight's too short."

"Alright. But you need to sleep more when we get home."

"_Before_ you intend to massacre our child?" I glanced up at him with a hard expression.

He narrowed his eyes slightly and clenched his jaw, but a moment later he let it pass. His expression became almost remorseful, I noted with relief. With another sigh, he nodded. "Yes, Bella. Before."

I could live with that; I decided to let it pass as well, knowing that he wouldn't achieve his goal. I raised my eyebrows. "Do you still have that freakish gold bed in your room?"

He looked down, and noted my smirk. His face lightened considerably, and a teasing smile crossed his own lips.

"In _our_ room, you mean?" His voice was instantly low, and darkly seductive, whether or not he intended it to be.

My heart pounded in my chest at his words, and a rush of adrenaline poured through me. And, of course, a blush lit up my face. With a stutter, I answered, "Yes, that's what I meant."

He chuckled quietly. "Of course I do."

I let my eyes slip closed as another sudden wave of exhaustion hit. "Good."

I felt his arm tighten around me, and allowed myself to sink deeper into him. While to most people, his hard, icy skin would be the most uncomfortable substance imaginable, it was a refuge to me. Never in my life did I feel more safe, more secure, and more content than when he held me.

"Edward," I murmured.

"Yes, love?"

"I love you."

I could almost feel his smile. "I know. And I love you more."

Impossible, I thought to myself. But I smiled back. "That's why we're here."

And with that, I brought his hand down to rest on my stomach, and despite his absolute hatred towards the child growing beneath my skin, he didn't pull his hand away. I laced my fingers around his, and smiled as our nudger gave the lightest kick, sending vibrations through our entwined hands. Whether he liked it or not, we were parents, and he had better get used to the idea. I knew what I wanted, and I wasn't giving up without a fight.

* * *

I must have fallen asleep sometime during the flight, because when I opened my eyes, I was in the backseat of Carlisle's black Mercedes, my head in Edward's lap. I faintly remembered him whispering that it was time for me to wake up, but of course that hadn't happened. I also remembered the loud noises of the busy airport, and feeling weightless as he carried me the entire way…

I blinked, trying to come back to reality. I looked up, and Edward smiled down at me.

"Good morning," he murmured, lightly running his fingers through my hair.

I groaned, and tried to sit up. I moved too fast; my head started spinning and I fell back against his marble legs with a thud. Ouch. I would probably have a bruise later.

He chuckled softly. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah. Head rush." I pressed my hand against my forehead and sighed. "Pregnancy is not helping my coordination at all."

He tensed slightly, but with effort, was able to relax. An amused smile played on his lips, though I wasn't quite sure how natural it really was. He was a very good actor. "Bella, you've been pregnant for about a day."

"Na-uh! More like seventeen…now eighteen days." I argued.

He rolled his eyes. "Either way, I don't think that has anything to do with your coordination. You've always been helplessly clumsy and prone to any sort of balance deficiency, even if just momentarily."

"Gee, thanks."

He grinned. "Not to worry, love. I've always found it incredibly attractive."

"And it gives you an excuse to pretty much save my life on a daily basis."

"Well, yes, there's always that." He laughed, and I had to smile.

I looked to the front of the car, where Carlisle was driving far too quickly down the empty road, shrouded by trees on both sides. I don't know why, but I always imagined him being a bit more of a cautious, reasonable driver. But he was just as bad as Edward, not that it bothered me anymore. I knew that they were all less likely to get in a car crash than anyone I'd ever known, especially with someone as fragile and weak and _human_ as me as a passenger.

Carlisle noticed me staring from my reflection in the rearview mirror, and I saw him smile kindly.

"Hello Bella," he said in his soft quiet voice. Even when he was speaking casually, away from the hospital, he still had the subtle edge of authority to his tone.

"Hi Carlisle."

"How are you feeling?'

"Tired." I frowned as I tried to keep my eyes open. An unexpected wave of nausea hit me as I attempted to sit up again. "Ugh…and kind of sick."

Edward's hands clenched into hard fists around me. Automatically, my eyes flickered to his face. His jaw was clenched and his nostrils were flared, eyes narrowed.

I wanted to tell him that I was fine, but that wasn't the case. My stomach churned, and a low groan escaped my lips. I could feel the quick nausea building, and I fought to repress it.

"Bella?" Edward's voice was instantly alert, but still furious underneath his reaction. "Love, are you going to be sick?"

I nodded, keeping my mouth firmly shut.

"Carlisle," he ordered urgently, "pull over."

Half a second later, the Mercedes was parked on the side of the road, engine off and the doors unlocked. I sprang up and pushed my door open, stumbling out on shaky – for multiple reasons – legs.

Edward was right behind me as I doubled over toward the ground, holding my hair back with one hand and keeping the other locked firmly around my waist. I was too miserable to feel bad for throwing up in front of him…again. I knew he just wanted to help, and wouldn't leave my side even if I begged, but it made me feel so horrible. I didn't deserve this ridiculous degree of kindness; Edward truly was a gentleman among gentlemen.

When I had finished, I gulped at the clean air in hectic, shallow gasps, desperate to clear my mouth of the horrible bitter taste left on my tongue. Edward held me steady, helping me to my feet and turning me to face him. I couldn't meet his eyes as he pulled my hair back and took the sleeve of his shirt and wiped my mouth clean.

Gently, lovingly, he brushed his thumb across my cheek and tried to raise my frown into a smile, pressing his finger softly against my lips. A few tears slipped from my eyes.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" he asked, wiping my tears away, too.

I just shook my head, still unable to look at him, and unable to keep from crying. I felt so weak, so pathetic. I couldn't control myself at all. I reached up and grabbed a hold of him, burying my face into his shirt and wrapping my arms around him.

He responded automatically, pressing me as tightly against his iron body as possible without crushing me.

"Don't cry," he murmured, stroking my hair with a feather-light touch.

"I'm s-sorry," I mumbled back, purely annoyed. I didn't seem to have a very good grip – any grip - on my emotions lately. It was seriously starting to drive me crazy, not to mention what it must be doing to Edward. Damn stupid hormones.

"Don't be." He gently released me. "Are you going to be alright?"

I nodded, quickly wiping away the remainder of my tears with the back of my hand. "Yes, I'm fine."

I looked up at the sound of almost silent footsteps. I could only hear them because I'd grown so accustomed to the noiseless movements of my new family; anything normal and _human_ now startled me with its volume. Carlisle had come down to where we stood, at the edge of the forest, his golden eyes creased with concern.

"Bella," he started.

"I'm fine," I repeated, not wanting the unnecessary worry and attention. I was already feeling normal again. "Just a minor episode. Mood swings and all. Nothing major."

He continued to gaze at me with obvious concern. I sighed.

"Carlisle, I'm really fine. It's just morning sickness." I shrugged. "I mean, that's all that it really is, right? You get sick for five minutes, and then you're okay."

"Yes, but you are definitely a rare case. Never before have I heard of a human carrying a vampire's child." He shook his head, his expression thoughtful. "We can't just assume that you'll follow the normal path of pregnancy; your supposed morning sickness could turn out to be something else entirely."

He noticed my startled expression and sighed. "But let's not worry about that right now. We'll discuss things when we get to the house; where I can properly run a few tests before we make any false assumptions."

"It doesn't matter," Edward spoke up, his voice hard. "The thing will be dead soon, and Bella will be safe."

The outrage was clear on my face, and I felt a powerful urge to hit something. But before I could say anything, Carlisle reached out and put a firm hand on his shoulder.

"Edward," he said calmly. "Don't. Again, we'll discuss this later."

"What's to discuss?" He shrugged off his father's hand, and started back for the car. I hesitated, but ran after him. My foot caught a rock, of course, and I stumbled, nearly landing face-first in the dirt. Edward turned around and caught me, though, as I knew he would. And Carlisle was right behind me, arms outstretched. I sighed.

"Stupid balance deficiency," I grumbled.

Edward rolled his eyes, obviously trying to seem relaxed. I frowned, thoroughly annoyed.

"What?" he snapped, glaring at my critical expression.

"Oh, nothing." I stalked off towards the car, stomping my feet unnecessarily. I felt like a pouty five-year-old, but oh well. He wasn't exactly being mature about this, either. And we'd all been so fine and dandy five minutes ago…

He followed me into the back seat, and I scooted away from him, grabbing my sandals and continuing to glower at him. Why was I fueling the fire? I had no idea.

He stared at me for a long time, his frown deepening, and then he climbed back out and moved to slam the door. Well that was just fine. If he wanted to sit in the front, I wasn't going to stop him. I turned my head and crossed my arms over my chest. My current mood seemed to be fixed between stress and anxiety and nausea, which ultimately added together to equal quick and irrational anger, making me a very unlikable person at the moment.

I waited for the door to slam, but it never did. A second later I allowed myself a quick glance, and was stunned that Edward was sitting next to me, the door already closed. He was looking down at his hands, his expression almost depressed. It seemed his moods were changing almost as rapidly as mine.

And, speak of the devil, I gradually felt the anger fade from my face as he turned his head and I met his downcast eyes, brimming with regret. How could I be mad at him? This wasn't his fault, and I certainly wasn't treating him rightly about it.

I refused to be the first to speak, though, so I stared at him and waited. After a long pause, he sighed.

"I'm sorry, Bella. Please don't think that I'm angry with you, because that will never in a million years be the case."

"I know." Of course I knew that, though I still couldn't understand why. I did quite a lot of things worthy of temporary hatred. Or permanent.

"This is just very…"

"Stressful?" I interjected, seeing he was struggling for the right word.

He nodded once. "Yes. And, well…overwhelming."

I sighed. "Edward, I'm sorry, too, but I just can't step aside and allow you to kill our baby. I mean, you're the one that that had wished I could get pregnant, before we were even married. Haven't you ever heard of being careful for what you wish for?"

I saw Carlisle raise his eyebrows in the rearview mirror. Edward frowned, reading his thoughts no doubt. I blushed.

"No Carlisle, of course we didn't. How many times do I have to tell you?"

He shrugged, but I could almost see the relief on his face. "Of course, Edward. Of course. You know I trust you."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Can we just keep driving?"

"Yes, please?" I agreed. I was anxious to finally be back home, though I was dreading the welcoming committee that would greet us. But, the sooner it was over with, the sooner I could relax. And worry about the vampire child growing inside of me. Oh, how joyful life can be…

I leaned into Edward, wanting his support. The corners of his lips twisted up in a brief smile, and he tilted my chin up to kiss me lightly on my lips. He pulled away with a sigh, and I had just closed my eyes when I heard Carlisle say, "Don't you dare, Bella. There's only ten minutes left."

I laughed once, closing my eyes again anyway. "I won't fall asleep again. I promise."

* * *

My heart was hammering as we passed the sign officially welcoming us home to Forks. It was still early enough in the morning that no one was awake and outside, but I still felt as if the whole town was watching from their windows, whispering excitedly to each other. _Look, it's the Cullens! The newlyweds are finally back home…_

I shrank back into my seat, wishing I could magically disappear. Edward put his arm around my shoulder and I pressed into him, teeth chattering despite the fact that Carlisle had put the heater on for me. Summer or not, Northern Washington was always cold. But I was seriously freaked out; it had nothing to do with the temperature.

"Edward," I murmured. My stomach was in a tight knot from my anxiety, and it hurt. I felt like I was going to throw up again from the nervous pressure.

"Shh love. I know you're nervous."

I groaned. "More than that."

"Fine, terrified, but there's nothing to be afraid of," he assured me, his voice as soft and rich as velvet. "Remember, my family is your family now, and you know almost better than I do how much they love you. No one will judge you."

"And no one will judge you either, Edward," Carlisle said, glancing back at us quickly.

Edward released a deep sigh. "You know that's not true."

"Well, they will definitely react; we both know that as a sure fact. But judge? I don't think so. You have done nothing wrong, son."

He frowned. "Yeah, except get my wife of two weeks pregnant with something I couldn't even call a child."

I glared at him. "Edward…"

He rolled his eyes and sighed again. "Bella, relax. We're not going to argue any more about this until we're home."

"Which is now," Carlisle said, and I looked out the window just in time to watch the last stretch of open, un-shrouded road disappear as he turned onto the private lane leading to the Cullen house. I whimpered softly.

"Shh," Edward murmured again, pulling me tighter into him. I clutched his shirt with my hands, refusing to let go.

"Who should tell?" Carlisle asked. "Bella?"

I shook my head furiously. "No, please. Not me."

"Edward?"

He sighed, closing his eyes. When he opened them a minute later, the gold was hard; sharp. Determined. "Yes. I will."

Carlisle nodded. "Very well. I'll get out first, and leave the rest to you two."

My heart was pounding so furiously that it felt as if it might just explode out of my chest. Edward had to have heard it; he lowered his head to press his lips against my forehead, leaving them there for a long moment.

The large white house came into view, and within moments Carlisle killed the engine, stopping the Mercedes right in front of the front door.

I watched as the door opened, and my new family spilled out onto the porch, smiles on all of their perfect faces. I could almost feel the energy pulsating out of them, even through the metal frame of the car. My eyes immediately zoned in on Rosalie, staring right past the others.

She was gazing straight back at me, through the tinted windows, and with a slight jolt I realized she was the only one not smiling. My pulse doubled, if possible - it had to be far off the charts by now.

Carlisle climbed out of the car, and Esme rushed to embrace him, kissing him fondly on the cheek. I glanced over at Edward, and he stared back, patience radiating from his eyes. He was waiting for me to make the first move, and I knew he would let me take as long as I wanted or needed. I took a deep breath and released it slowly, my voice shaky. I felt like I was heading to my execution.

He kissed my hand, giving me strength. I gave the slightest nod, and the corners of his lips turned up in a brief smile. It disappeared the moment it touched his face, though, and the mask of seriousness quickly returned. I kept my hand locked tightly with his as he opened his door and got out.

He reached in with his other hand to help me out, and then I was standing next to him, facing our family. No, behind him – he kept his body curved in front of mine, shielding me from view. I squeezed his hand, and he gave me one last brief glance. I could almost hear him thinking, _Well, this is it. Welcome to the end. _

"Edward, is something wrong?"

I recognized Esme's soft breezy voice, and looked up at her. She was standing next to Carlisle, her eyebrows creased and a slight frown turning down her lips. Besides Jasper, she was always the first to recognize tension, and this was no exception. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Carlisle giving Edward a meaningful look.

He let out a deep sigh. "That's a matter of perspective, Esme."

"Edward?" It was Alice's voice this time. She too, looked concerned, but moreover, confused. It took me a minute to identify the emotion; things rarely confused Alice. She relied completely on her visions…surely she had seen this?

Edward closed his eyes, and I could feel his muscles tense. _Well, here goes nothing…_

"I," he began, voice raw, "no, _we_," – he gave me another fleeting look – "have something to tell you."

The drop in energy was almost tangible; suddenly all the smiles disappeared and they were staring at us intently, with an unmistakable balance of curiosity and worry evident in all of their eyes. Even Emmett looked serious; if I wasn't so nervous, his expression would have made me laugh. But I clung tighter to Edward, burying my face into his shoulder like a coward.

"Does this by any chance concern Bella more than you?" Rosalie's wind chime voice questioned coolly. Without moving I glanced up to see that her arms were crossed and she was giving Edward one of the darkest glares I'd seen. I couldn't understand why.

Edward, too, looked surprised by her reaction. He narrowed his eyes and returned her glower. "And why would you ask that, Rosalie?"

She shrugged, straightening up and taking a step forward. "Oh, I don't know. Just considering the fact that Bella is still obviously human. I mean, after almost three weeks, I would have expected her to come home with scarlet eyes and fresh blood dripping down her throat."

"Rosalie!" Esme exclaimed, aghast.

"What? It's the truth," she defended herself. "They've been gone eighteen days; surely you would have thought Bella would be a vampire by now."

"Well, yes, but…" Esme trailed off, struggling for words. "Maybe they were too busy…or perhaps Bella changed her mind?"

I frowned. It was almost like I wasn't there.

Suddenly Emmett snickered. Ha. I knew it; it was impossible for him to be even remotely serious for more than a minute, five at the most. Edward shot him a dark look, one that clearly told me the direction Emm's thoughts had taken him. _Too busy. _I blushed, disappearing even further into Edward's shoulder.

"About that," Edward began, his teeth grinding together in his fury. "I would very much appreciate it if you would get your head out of the gutter, Emmett."

He rolled his eyes. "You're too touchy, bro. Get over it."

But to my relief, Edward's muscles gradually loosened, and I knew that Emmett at least had the respect to honor his brother's wish.

Carlisle cleared his throat, and Edward's eyes flashed up to him. He nodded once, and then looked back to me. I could tell right away he was just as nervous about this as I was. Neither one of us wanted to reveal our dangerous secret. Of course, Carlisle and Rosalie already knew, but that still wasn't very comforting. In fact, Rosalie knowing made it worse. And Edward not knowing that she knew…I closed my eyes. _Just get it over with._

"You said you had something to tell us," Alice chirped.

Edward sighed. "Yes, we do. And if you all will kindly be quiet…"

"Ah, just spit it out," Emmett demanded. "It can't be _that_ bad."

"Fine, Emmett," Edward growled. "Not so bad? Well, here's the news. And you better listen, because I'm only going to say it once!"

Everyone was silent immediately. I suspected Jasper had used his calming effect to help alleviate the tension, but I knew the second the words were out of Edward's mouth everything would be chaos. I braced myself, and he took a deep breath.

"Bella's pregnant."

The following silence was unbearable. It stretched on and on; I didn't dare open my eyes to meet the gazes that were no doubt directed towards me. Edward wrapped himself more fully around my body, keeping me completely shielded. I bit down on my lip and waited for the pandemonium to begin.

"WHAT?!!" It was Emmett that spoke first. I allowed myself the briefest flicker of a glance; his mouth was hanging limply open, eyes as big as they come.

"Pregnant?" I could barely make out Esme's whisper, but the absolute disbelief was plain as day in her voice. "How can that be?"

"Bella?" I looked up to see that Alice was standing right beside me, one of her arms stretched slightly in front of her, not quite able to offer her hand. Her expression matched Esme's tone; a perfect balance of awe and complete incredulity. I flinched away from her closeness, something I would never normally do, and Edward growled, warning her to step back. I realized that he had no intention of letting anyone near me, as overprotective as he was. I pressed my face to the back of his neck, feeling his shirt collar brush my cheek.

"Carlisle, how can that be possible?" Jasper's voice was calm, collected, but I knew he was just as shocked as everyone else. It was definitely the unexpected.

Carlisle sighed. "I really don't know. I just don't get it." He glanced over at me. "Bella called early yesterday with her speculation, and it's just true. Everything matched up. Her symptoms – the mood swings, aggression, strange diet and sleeping patterns; all of it. And if Edward is willing to step down for one minute you can already see the swelling of her stomach. As hard as it is for me to say it – and believe it, most definitely – there's no arguing the point. Bella is indeed carrying Edward's child."

Esme shook her head, shocked into silence. "I just don't believe it," she mumbled. "I just…it sounds so dangerous. A vampire and a human…"

Carlisle put his arm around her shoulder and kissed her on the forehead. "Bella's going to be fine. Trust me."

"How do you know that?" Edward growled. "You can never know for sure; this thing could kill her at any second."

"Edward!" If Esme looked shocked before, now she was staggered.

Carlisle sighed again. "Edward is very insistent on the immediate removal of the child, before, as he presumes, it could harm Bella."

"An abortion?" Esme's face paled ever so slightly, leaving her the exact shade of paper. I wondered how my skin looked; surely more drained of color than usual.

"You can't do that!"

My head jerked up. Rosalie was standing firmly on the porch, her eyes burning with her anger. The pure outrage was clear on her face, and in her voice. My heart started hammering again, but my strained muscles began to loosen. So, she hadn't abandoned me after all…

"Rosalie, this is not your decision," Edward spat. "You keep out of this!"

"No." She pulled her lips back, exposing her gleaming razor-sharp teeth. Her growl was almost as deadly as his; a shiver rolled down my spine as I listened to their heated dispute.

"Edward, Rosalie." Carlisle had stepped down from the porch, standing between them with his arms out. "Silence, both of you! This is no way to settle anything."

"Damn it! Why won't anyone listen?!" Edward had taken a step forward, leaving me slightly behind. At the moment, I welcomed the space; his rage startled me. "None of you get it; none of you can even try to understand it! So why don't you all just shut the hell up and LISTEN!"

Everything went quiet; all eyes were on Edward, expressions ranging from surprise to shock to anger. I cringed back.

"Edward," Alice murmured.

"Shut up, Alice," he hissed. "Just shut up! I knew this would happen, I knew none of you would side with me. None of you want to see Bella go through an abortion, but I don't want to SEE HER DIE!"

"And you think we want that?" Emmett questioned, his eyes narrowed. "None of us want to be making preparations for her funeral, either, bro. Don't be so selfish."

"How do you even know she's in danger?" Jasper raised his eyebrows. "I think you're overreacting. How do you know she won't be just fine?"

"And how do you know she will?"

He shrugged. "I don't."

"Exactly." Edward's voice was cold; flat. Deadly.

"Edward…" My voice shook; I could barely understand his name rolling off my tongue. I'd never been more terrified of him.

He turned around, his face instantly softening as he took in my startled and unsteady appearance. "Bella," he breathed, catching me as I collapsed in his arms.

"Edward, I'm scared," I whispered. I let out a shaky gasp.

He held me tighter, burying his face into my hair. "I am too, love. Very."

"We're not finished yet," Rosalie snarled. "Don't you go soften up to her. How dare you, you bastard! This is all your fault; you're the one that knocked her up, so don't you dare go to her! Take responsibility; leave her the hell alone!"

"Rosalie!" I gasped. "How can you say that?"

"We made a deal, Bella. A deal that means more than my life. Don't you tell me what the hell I can and can't do; I'm trying to save you!"

"Bella?" Edward looked down at me questionably. I frowned, my heart racing. Surely he would never forgive me for this.

"Edward, I can explain."

"Like hell you can," Rosalie spat. "Let me; I want him to get the message loud and clear."

I shrunk back into Edward's chest, horrified. I'd never seen Rosalie explode like this. I knew, in this case, that her intentions were pure, but her extreme anger also hinted at potentially dark motives, left a mystery to me. But I knew she couldn't be doing all of this just for me.

"Listen Edward," she began, pointing her index finger at him accursedly, "You have no right to tell Bella what she can and cannot do with your baby. If anything, she should be bossing you the hell around! And don't tell me to butt out; she contacted _me_ and asked for my help. And I intend to give it to her, and I'm not going to let you stop me!"

"What are you talking about?" Edward asked, narrowing his eyes.

"She called me when you were packing up to leave." She set her mouth firmly, twisting her full lips into a hard scowl. "She begged me to help her save her baby, because all you wanted to do was kill him. We made a deal. And I promised her that I would fight until death for that child. And trust me, I will."

Edward opened his mouth to respond, but I never heard what he said. The stress must have gotten to me at last, or maybe just the overwhelming pressure and atmosphere had set its toll. Or perhaps Jasper was trying to help; giving me an escape with his unusual ability. But whatever the reason, I pressed my hand to my forehead as it burst with a fiery rage, and had fallen unconscious within seconds, freed from the nerve-wracking argument that might or might not cost me my life.

* * *

(A/N:) Woot! This one's a loooonnng chapter!!! Haha it's actually been done for weeks, but I wasn't sure if I should break it up into two...I need to make sure I have the exact right number of chapters to follow the book, you know. And of course it doesn't help much that my friend has had my copy of Breaking Dawn for the past three months...*le sigh* Oh well, I'm getting it back this weekend, so then things should kick up a bit. I hope you like this chapter; I LOVED writing it - seriously awesome! Please comment; comments are love, and I never get enough!!! :)

-Stephanie


	3. Risks

10. RISKS

When I opened my eyes, all I could see was darkness. There was absolutely no light streaming in from any window or crack. I twisted around, trying to figure out where I was. The material around me was incredibly soft and light, and it crinkled gently as I moved. The sound was familiar – I was in Edward's room. The massive and unnecessary gold bed he'd bought for me several months ago was what I was laying on. Even the smell of the sheets was familiar.

"Bella?"

I jumped slightly as a cool hand brushed across my arm and wound itself around my waist. I relaxed as his body molded carefully around mine on the bed, and I sank into him.

"Bella?" he repeated, his voice just a whisper, and one dampened by immense concern. "I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

I yawned, shaking my head. "No, don't worry. You didn't." I paused, remembering the blackness surrounding me. "What time is it?"

"A little past one in the morning," he answered. "You slept all day."

"Oh." I frowned. "I'm sorry; can you remind me what happened? I'm not even sure."

He chuckled softly. "When we came home Rosalie and I got into a fight and you fainted. I brought you up here and you've slept the entire time since then. You've been so quiet, it's almost like you were dead." He sighed. "It frightened me. I'm still getting used to the lack of your sleep talking."

"Hmmm…I'm sorry."

He laughed again. "Nothing to fret about."

I heard the slightest rustling of the sheets as he released me and got up. A moment later, a bright stream of white light flooded the room; I turned on my side to see him fastening huge velvet curtains with a thick rope. His pure glass wall, now unsheathed, allowed the brilliant full moon's rays to illuminate his room. I watched as he walked back toward the bed and crawled back to my side, enveloping me once again in his arms.

I pondered his earlier words, sighing as the realization eventually set in. "Wow…now I remember. Rosalie was really mad, wasn't she?"

He nodded. "Yes, she was. She still is."

"But you were, too."

He didn't respond for a long time. I rolled over on my other side so I was facing him. His face was in shadow, and it was hard to read his expression, but I knew he could see mine.

"Edward?"

He sighed. "Yes Bella, I was, too. I'm so sorry; I must have terrified you."

A brief vision of his earlier hostility flashed through my mind; teeth bared, eyes wild, voice as sharp and deadly as knives. I shrugged to hide the sudden chill that flashed down my spine.

"No," I lied quickly. "It's nothing. I was just startled."

He frowned; I hadn't convinced him. I hadn't convinced myself. But before he could say anything else, I started piling on the questions – as a distraction, but also because I really was genuinely curious.

"Wait, so what happened after you brought me up here? Did you keep fighting with Rosalie? And everyone else; are they alright?" I gasped as a new thought hit me. "Is the baby alright? You didn't abort him, did you?!"

"Shh, Bella, calm down." He put his hands on my shoulders, restraining me. I hadn't realized I'd jumped up. "Do you honestly think that I would do that to you, and when your condition made it impossible for you to resist?"

I hesitated. "Well…no, but you just seemed so serious."

"Bella." He took his hand and put it under my chin, and locked my eyes in his gaze. His eyes were smoldering, as usual, but richly determined. I knew he was serious now. "Bella, I will _never_ take advantage of your weakness under any circumstances; any situation. I would kill myself first. You know that."

I didn't answer. After a minute, he placed his hands on either side of my waist and lifted me carefully from under the sheets so that I was cradled in his arms. He laid my head against his chest and waited for me to relax. My heartbeat slowed shortly after, and my rigid muscles gradually began to loosen.

"Bella, you know I would never do anything to hurt you, right?"

I nodded, ashamed of myself for doubting him. "Yes."

I felt him smile. "Good. Because you know I love you more than anything in the world."

"I love you, too." And I really, truly did. More than he could possibly imagine.

He leaned in and kissed my lips softly, and pressed his hands against my back. Somehow, a second later, I was sitting on top of him, my legs stretched apart, straddling his hips. My breath caught in the back of my throat as I looked down at him and read his expression. My momentarily steady pulse started hammering again, but this time it wasn't out of fear.

I had a sudden flashback of the last time we'd done this here; in my pitiful attempt of seducing him, I'd ended up becoming engaged by the night's end. And I never got what I wanted. I blushed at the memory.

"What is it?" he murmured, running his hands along my arms, his fingers tracing patterns on my snow white skin. The moon's light helped me to become as pale as he was, something I always appreciated. It made me feel more like him - like my immortal life had already started.

"Nothing," I responded with a tiny smile. "Just a little memory."

His answering smile was dazzling. "Oh?"

I nodded, leaning down to kiss him again. He took my wrists in his iron grip and moved them down his chest, latching one onto his shirt and starting to undo the buttons. I stopped when he released my hands and gave him a questioning look.

"Edward, are you sure?"

He snickered quietly and rolled his eyes. "Why must you always jump to conclusions?" He reached up and gently stroked my hair, curling a loose strand around his finger. It sprung back into place when he let it go, untwisting itself until it was long and straight again.

I furrowed my eyebrows, creasing them slightly. "But, you…"

"We're not going to do anything, Bella. I promise."

"Oh." I frowned. "Why not?"

He sighed, taking my hand again and entwining our fingers. "Bella, think about it for a minute. Do you really think that's the best idea, given the circumstances?"

My frown deepened. I stared down at my stomach, which seemed to have amazingly doubled in size since yesterday. Alarmed, I placed my free hand gently on the bulge, and my nudger kicked once – no doubt backing Edward up. His strength seemed to have grown, as well. I sighed.

"Yeah, I suppose you're right."

He laughed softly, pulling my hands back to his shirt. "No matter, we can still enjoy the view." He winked, making me blush. "I think we deserve a bit of time to just put all this madness behind us and enjoy each other's company. No stressing, no rising tempers, no complications. We'll have plenty of time for that later, trust me. Just don't get things too out of hand. Now, where were we?'

His idea was intoxicating; we definitely needed some _us_ time. Who cares that we just got back from our extensive honeymoon? Things had definitely changed in the last forty-eight hours, and the stress levels had risen far too high.

I smiled timidly, grasping his shirt's material in my hands and beginning to unbutton it. "I think here."

"I think so, too."

A moment later, I felt his hands on my back, running up and down my spine; tracing my shoulder blades. I shivered as he lazily ran a finger against the back of my neck. My hands shook as I finished undoing his shirt. Finally, the last button was unlatched, and I reached for the sleeves, helping him push them down his arms and off. There was a slight crumpling sound as his shirt hit the floor.

His hands reached under my dress, tugging softly at the cotton material as he forced it up my legs. When it was hiked all the way to my waist, he let go, and the fabric pooled around my thighs and settled on our forms; mine still above his, straddling him.

He reached for the fine ribbon adorning the bodice, tied in a tight bow. He pulled once and the delicate knot collapsed, stretching out into more of the long crimson ribbon.

I pressed my hands to his smooth, cold chest, feeling the texture of every muscle; every curve and dip of his skin. He copied me, moving his hands slowly, gently supporting my breasts with his palms. They ached at his touch, already swollen from my abnormally rapid pregnancy. I moaned involuntarily as he tightened his grip, molding the sensitive skin to the inside of his hands. His finger dug under the dress's material, slipping into the crevice between my breasts, and I shivered again.

My hands still shaking, I reached up and pushed the straps of the dress off my shoulders, letting the bodice cling to nothing but the skin holding it up. I was surprised it didn't fall at once; another quirk of my pregnancy, I supposed. I was growing in more ways than one. I gave Edward another timid smile as I moved his hands to the top of the material, encouraging him to pull it down. I kept my eyes on his face as I felt it slip away, and his gaze didn't move from my face, either.

I watched, a second later, as his eyes finally flickered down, seeming to grow darker as they feasted selfishly on the sight of my exposed chest. He'd seen me before, more times than one, but I still couldn't get used to it. It was a very new fascination, and it made me feel extremely self-conscious to be inspected under his unwavering gaze. To distract myself, I let my own eyes wander down the length of his abdomen, settling on his navel, which was partially obscured by a line of dark hairs that steadily grew darker as they traveled southward beneath his jeans. The blush returned to my cheeks.

I started when his ice cold hands pressed suddenly against my chest again. The cloth of my dress was thin, but it had taken away some of the natural chill of his flesh. My muscles tensed for a minute, but then relaxed once I had readjusted to his temperature. I slumped forward, allowing myself to collapse against him as he pulled his hands away. If his heart could beat, I was sure at this moment ours would be perfectly matched, and I would feel his pulse thrumming against my skin as I was positive mine was to his.

He kissed me gently on my forehead, wrapping his arms around me in a tight embrace. I yawned once, something I always did when I was extremely content. I was absolutely certain that I could stay here forever with him and be just fine. But then I remembered something.

"Edward," I murmured.

He pushed his finger to my lips. "Shh…don't say anything, love."

I kissed his neck before raising myself back into a sitting position. "No, I have a question."

He sighed and gently slid me off of him, and then sat up himself, shifting his body until he was turned toward me. His eyes were still dark, desire burning like black fire in their golden depths. I wondered what mine looked like; similar perhaps. I wanted to continue, but the nagging questions now controlled my thoughts, and I wanted them answered so I could relax entirely.

I took a deep breath. "I'm confused."

His finger played with one of the straps of my dress, twisting it around as he continued to pull the cotton further and further down my figure. "About?"

"Everything." I frowned. "But mostly, about all of this." I motioned to myself, the dress now settled around my waist, and then to him; his shirt off and, probably in a few minutes, his jeans, too.

He raised his eyebrows, grinning slightly. "Why?"

My frown deepened. "Well, we're not having sex, but this still isn't exactly what I would expect to come straight after one of the biggest and possibly most dangerous fights we – and your family – have had. And it's not even after; we're only just starting. Not that I'm complaining, it's just a bit…strange?"

"Bella." He rolled his eyes. "First, _our_ family, not just mine. And second, what did I just get through telling you? I think we deserved to have a bit of time to forget this whole thing ever happened. Neither of us have any idea what lies ahead, in fact none of us do, and we won't know until it's over."

"It's not like you to run away from things."

"I'm not running." He kissed my cheek. "I just wanted a break."

I sighed, and something he'd said caught my attention. "Wait, what did you mean by _none of us_ knows what will happen? You don't mean Alice, do you? She knows."

His smile disappeared. I watched, anxious, as his expression darkened considerably.

"What is it? She does know, doesn't she?'

"We wouldn't be fighting if she did."

I blinked, astonished. "She can't…"

"No. She has absolutely no idea what will happen. Something is blocking her visions."

"All of them?"

"No, just the ones concerning you." He frowned. "She suspects it has something to do with the…"

"Baby?" I finished. I knew he would never say it.

He grimaced, but nodded. "Yes. And about that…"

I frowned and crossed my arms. "What?"

I probably looked like an idiot. I quickly pushed my dress's straps back on, covering my chest. The mood had quickly changed, and I doubted we'd be returning to our blissful diversion anytime soon; my fault of course, but this was important. I re-crossed my arms, waiting for him to continue.

He hesitated, and eventually sighed. "A few hours after I brought you up here, Carlisle pulled me aside to talk to me. He thinks I'm overreacting, though he understands why. But he thinks I need to back down and let you make your own decisions. And…I guess he's right."

My heart skipped a beat. "Are you telling me that…?"

He grimaced again. "Unfortunately, for the time being…you get to keep the…the baby."

I gave a little scream, shock coursing through me. A huge smile lit up my face as I full-on tackled him, kissing every inch of him I could manage. "Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love you so much!"

He grasped my shoulders and pulled me back to look him straight in the face. "For now you do. This isn't over, though. Don't think I'm letting you off the hook."

I nodded enthusiastically, too happy to have my mood even slightly dampened by his ridiculous seriousness. "Okay, that's fine."

"And if _anything_ at all should happen," – he gave me a stern look – "and if I suspect that something could go wrong and you could get hurt, that's it. No playing around. I'm taking control."

I stopped my parade of screaming as my eyes locked with his again. His gaze was intense, the gold burning like magma under the surface. My earlier frown returned. "But…"

"No buts," he said, growling slightly. "This is serious, Bella. I wish you would grasp that. I'm only doing this under Carlisle's advice; if I had my way the baby _would_ be aborted by now."

I pouted, jutting my lip out. "Well thanks a lot. You got me all excited for nothing."

"What are you talking about?"

"The way you're saying that makes it sound like I don't get to keep the him after all."

He sighed in frustration, closing his eyes. He finally released his grip on my shoulders and rubbed his face with one hand. My frown deepened as I watched him.

"Just forget about it." He sighed. "I really shouldn't be making deals or promises; we'll just have to wait and see what happens. I don't know whether you'll get to keep…it, or not. Carlisle says to wait, and I'm going to try my hardest to. But this is just…it's just so…" He trailed off, struggling.

"We never thought this would happen," I finished, subconsciously placing a hand on my stomach. My nudger kicked, but less joy radiated through me than usual; a sudden anxiousness replaced it. I was so confused, and I didn't know what to feel.

"Exactly. And you know how I am; I'm not exactly comfortable just diving headfirst into the unknown when there are major risk factors. Hell, I just hate not knowing what's to come."

"Well who doesn't?" I asked. "It's a terrifying thing."

"I know, it's just…I'm so used to having Alice tell me everything. Everything I could ever possibly need or want to know; though it's never guaranteed to be completely and wholly accurate, it's immensely comforting. When I first started falling in love with you, I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know if I would kill you, if you even wanted to be with me; anything." He frowned. "That was the single most reckless and terrifying thing I'd ever done in my entire life; letting myself fall for you – a soft and fragile human that I could never bear to hurt; a living soap bubble. But I had Alice's visions to guide me, and warn me, and that made all the difference in the world. This time, there's _nothing_."

"Oh." His words spoke volumes; I was suddenly able to understand his immense concern. But I couldn't feel it myself…all I possessed was a tangled mix of emotions that shifted every time I closed my eyes. But at least I finally could grasp what he meant.

"What I'm trying to say is, Bella, I know that you hate me for this, but I just can't give you what you want. I want so terribly for you to be happy, I really truly do, but I need to keep you safe. That is my absolute main priority. It's not that I don't want to have a child; please, never dare think that. You'd be an incredible mother, Bella. I know that for a fact. It would be so natural for you; you would build the world for that child and still think it wasn't enough. And for me, to be a father…I can't even begin to describe to you how the very thought makes my heart swell. To be the father of your child; that would completely change me in every possible way."

His words softened me immensely; my whole body seemed to have grown warmer. The picture he painted so vividly in my mind – I wanted so badly for it to be real. And the way he was looking at me as he described it...I couldn't believe what he was saying.

"Really?" The word was a quiet whisper on my lips.

"Yes, Bella, of course!" His smile made my heart race; it was one of the first purely genuine smiles I'd seen in days. "Like you can't possible imagine. I would _love_ to be a father. But…"

He reached forward to lay his hand on top of mine and lace our fingers together. He squeezed my hand once, gently, and sighed. I looked up from our hands and saw that his expression had changed again, his smile suddenly gone.

"But?"

He didn't look up. "But I can't. _We_ can't do this. Bella, I know I always say this, but I'm not like you. I'm not human, and I can't be human for you, or for us."

"Which doesn't matter at all to me," I answered quickly, my mood shifting with his. "And it never will, because I _will_ be like you soon."

"That's not the point. You know what I'm saying."

"Yes, yes, I know." I sighed. "You're just concerned because the baby won't be completely human. He'll have vampiristic tendencies, as well."

"At the very least. It could be far worse than that. You could get seriously injured; possibly killed."

"Or everything could be fine."

"Could." He finally raised his hand. "Always _could_."

"So? What's wrong with taking a few risks every now and then?" I questioned, abruptly exasperated. "We have before, and I'm still here somehow. You didn't want to have sex, but look; it didn't kill me! I'm still right here. And I'm sure that after I have the baby, I'll still be _right here!_"

"Bella." He frowned. "First, it's not that I didn't want to have sex with you; you couldn't be more wrong. _You have no idea_ how much I wanted it, quite possibly even more than you did. And second, that was a huge stretch for me. I made a promise to myself after those nights that I would never endanger you so much again, no matter what it cost me. And I am trying _so_ _damn_ _hard_ to keep that promise, and you're certainly not helping."

"Edward."

"No, Bella. Please, just don't say anything. This decision is hard enough without your unyielding belligerence, and even more so without Alice's help."

I sighed again. "You know, most people don't have a little psychic sister to help them make decisions. And yet they seem to be just fine."

"Yes, but they're not in love with a murderously dangerous vampire." He sounded remorseful at the thought.

"Married to, you mean." I grinned slightly, trying to lighten the mood, and both of our clashing tempers. "And you're not dangerous."

He raised his eyebrows. I laughed once.

"Well, not to me, anyway."

He dropped his eyes back to our hands. "I wish I could agree with you."

I groaned, annoyed. "Edward, stop it. I'm sorry I ever brought this up. Like you said, we'll have plenty of time to discuss it later, when your – I mean _our_ – family is up for it."

He nodded, still gloomy. "Yeah, sure."

I frowned, ignoring his suddenly dismal negativity. It was almost worse than the anger. "Where are they, by the way? I'm sure if they were here we would have been disturbed at least twice by now."

"They're out hunting," he responded lifelessly.

"Oh." I should have known.

"They'll be back by dawn." He met my eyes again. "Esme thought it best if we had some time to ourselves…whether or not you woke up before they returned. She said I, specifically, needed some time alone." He grimaced. "They all think I've gone insane."

"I'm sure they don't. They have to understand the stress that you're going through; this isn't exactly your typical everyday situation. I mean, I'm pregnant."

He flinched slightly. "I know, but it's just…"

I tilted my head slightly to the side, creasing my eyebrows. "Just what?'

"I'm worried about you," he murmured softly. "I'm _so_ worried about you. Honestly, I don't think I've ever been more obsessed with your safety, with monitoring every single movement you make, every breath of air that passes through your lungs. I _am_ driving myself insane."

"Edward, but why? Nothing has happened to me. Everything is fine, everything is normal. Well, at least as normal as it can be. I mean, yeah, I have morning sickness and mood swings and ridiculous sleeping patterns, but that is all part of it. Nothing exceptionally unusual has happened, and I really doubt it will. So everything is sped up; big deal." I shrugged. "I'll have the baby sooner. That doesn't bother me; that means I can become a vampire sooner."

He flinched again. I knew I was hitting sensitive spots.

"Bella," he started, "Something _has_ happened. I have perfect reason to be worried."

I blinked. "What?"

"When you passed out…"

"Oh, that." I sighed. "Nothing is exceptionally odd about that. You know me."

"No." He shook his head, suddenly looking angry. "No; you don't know what you're saying. You don't know what I do, so don't assume."

"And what is it that I don't know?"

"You weren't lightheaded, you didn't just forget to breathe, or anything else that normally causes fainting. After I carried you into the house, I had Carlisle examine you, just as a precaution." He frowned, ignoring my blush. "He _did_ find something, Bella. You'd lost a lot of blood."

"What?" That didn't make any sense; I had no healing cuts or fresh wounds. "How?"

"It wasn't external, but you weren't bleeding under the surface, either." He narrowed his eyes slightly, scowling. "It was just gone. Disappeared from your body."

I couldn't think of a response. The news was a bit unnerving, I had to admit. "Oh."

"And _that_ is why I'm worried. _That_ is why I want that thing out of you, now more than ever. "

I stared at him in disbelief, but I was still too startled to look properly angry. "You think that the _baby _did this to me?"

His eyes were hard. "I know it."

"Edward, that's completely ridiculous!"

I was furious, but I had a nagging suspicion that he might be right. I tried to fight it, forcing myself to believe he was lying and that I was absolutely fine. But if I was being honest with myself, his speculation terrified me to death.

"But what other possible explanation is there?" he snarled. "I didn't want to tell you; another reason perhaps for earlier distraction – or as you call it, escape. I didn't want to scare you. But this is serious. Again, Carlisle is the only reason why I'm even attempting to accept any of this, so don't test my tolerance, Bella." He exhaled sharply. "Please, don't. I won't listen; no matter what it is you have to say. Your opinion means nothing now."

I didn't answer. He looked up and must have seen how hurt I was by his comment, because his face instantly softened. I tried to blink back the sudden tears forming in my eyes, but his sight was too quick. He pulled me against his chest in one swift movement, holding me securely and forcing my arms to wrap around him. I held on tightly as he murmured a pain-stricken apology, appalled at himself for losing his temper, and all of my carefully built walls of defense and strength suddenly crumbled as I was hit full-force by the gravity of our situation. I burst into tears, completely overwhelmed.

"Oh Bella," he murmured, and the ache was tangible in his voice. He didn't say anything more, he just held me as I buried my face into his shoulder and continued to cry like an absolute idiot. But I couldn't do anything about it, and I was tired of trying to hide my distress.

I must have cried for at least an hour; the tears just never seemed to stop. At one point, Edward had tried to sing softly in my ear, an obvious attempt of calming me down with a familiar lullaby, but it had only made me cry harder. He pressed his face into my hair, sighing deeply.

When I had finally relaxed enough to stop, I was exhausted again. Despite having just slept nearly twenty hours, I could barely keep my eyes open, and I leaned my entire frame against Edward's chest. He welcomed the weight, supporting me as if I weighed no more than a feather.

"Bella," he whispered, rubbing my back gently with his palm, "Love, are you all right now?"

I nodded into his shirt, completely soaked by my tears. He didn't seem to mind.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" He sounded desperate; I knew he was miserable at the prospect of not being able to do anything to help me, and felt horrible.

I sighed, pulling my face back so I could look up at him. My vision was blurry; I quickly wiped the remaining tears from my eyes and then met his gaze again. The corners of my lips turned down in a slight frown.

I was right, he definitely felt horrible. He _looked_ horrible, and abruptly exhausted himself. Guilt washed over me in a powerful wave.

Ignoring his question, I said, "Edward, you look terrible." My voice still sounded choked up.

"No, Bella. This isn't about me; I'm fine."

"No, you're not."

He sighed. "All I care about is that _you're_ okay, which you obviously are not. Don't worry about me." He held my gaze, looking crushingly desperate again. "Are you sure there isn't _anything_ I can do for you; anything at all? I'll do it, whatever it is."

I shook my head, clearing my throat. "Edward, no. It just…I just had kind of a panic attack. You know, when you're too overwhelmed to deal with everything at once? I'm fine; really."

He groaned in anguish. "Bella, what did I say about telling me that you're _fine_?"

My frown deepened, though it probably didn't look very impressive. My eyes were beginning to droop, most likely making me look sick. I didn't know why I was suddenly so tired. "Well you keep saying that you're fine."

"Yes, but I'm not you."

"Oh, great reason."

He pursed his lips, inspecting my face closely. I blinked, startled. I hated being examined.

"What?" Subconsciously, I lowered my chin, pulling it back into my shoulders to avoid his gaze. He narrowed his eyes slightly. "Edward, what is it?"

"You're not acting like someone that just had a major breakdown. Normal people would still be a mess."

"Oh." I blinked again. "What, are you waiting for me to start crying again or something?"

"No, I'm just saying that I'm having a hard time trying to keep up with all of your mood swings."

I laughed once, a sort of breathless, shaky laugh. "Welcome to my world."

He gazed at me curiously. "Why?"

"You're impossible to follow."

He frowned. "Oh."

"Mmm-hmmm." I yawned, stretching my arms out. I threw them around his neck and collapsed against his chest again. "Mmmm…I'm sleepy."

"But you just slept nearly an entire day."

"But I'm still tired." I closed my eyes. "It's not my fault; my hormones have got to be going berserk. It's like, sleep, breakdown, sleep, panic attack, sleep. That's my life in a nutshell now."

He sighed, kissing the top of my head. "You need food. You haven't eaten in a long time. Let me make you something."

I considered his offer, eventually nodding into his shoulder. "Okay."

"I'll carry you down."

Before I could protest, he'd scooped me up into his arms and was flying towards the staircase at the end of the hall. As usual, we were in the kitchen much faster than should be possible. I stumbled forward when he put me down; I still wasn't used to his running, even after all these months.

"What would you like?" His tone was cautious; he was still watching me like he expected me to break down at any second.

I sighed. "I don't really care. Anything you feel obligated to make; it's two thirty in the morning."

The corner of his lips twitched, fighting a smile. "Eggs it is, then."

I had to give a small smile. "Sure."

I sat on the counter while he cooked, watching. It was ridiculously unfair how graceful his hands were as they cracked the eggs and carefully molded them into an omelette in the pan. I was supposed to be the fantastic cook.

The strong smell of eggs, cheese, and parsley flooded the room, swirling in the air like invisible smoke. I inhaled deeply in an attempt to grasp the mouthwatering scent, but my body gave an unusual reaction.

The smell burned in my nose, and my stomach twisted into an uncomfortable knot. My head started spinning as a fresh wave of nausea ripped through me, knocking me breathless.

Edward noticed my staggered expression and rushed to my side, dropping the pan as he grasped my hands in his own. It landed with a clatter against the tile floor, the sound amplified in the absolute silence of his house.

"Bella? Bella; what is it?"

I shook my head, cringing back the sickening feeling coursing through my system. It was strong, and fast becoming unbearably painful.

"Bella?!"

With a shaky gasp, I managed to stutter, "The smell. It's hurting me."

"The omelette? Bella, is it making you sick?"

I nodded, ripping my hands from his grip and clenching them around my stomach in a desperate effort to hold myself together. I couldn't remember ever being in so much pain; not even when the aching venom from James' lips had burned through my arm like wild fire. This feeling was intense; steady. It felt as if my stomach might explode, and the rest of my body along with it.

Edward lifted me into his arms, running to the main room in the front and laying me down on one of the soft white couches. I curled up into a ball, grabbing my knees and pulling them tight into my chest.

He kneeled down on the floor beside me, never taking his hand from my arm.

"Bella, what do you feel? Can you describe the pain for me?"

I grimaced, forcing back my scream. "It just…" I inhaled sharply again, gasping.

"Just what?"

"It just hurts." I whimpered softly. "Especially my stomach."

"Is it the…"

"It's not the baby. He's not kicking." I gasped again. "I don't know what it is."

He bit down on his lip, his expression torn. Abruptly he rose to his feet and had disappeared, only to return with a glass of water and several pills I guessed were pain relievers. I knew they would never work, but it was the only thing I could think to try. I unwound one of my arms to hold the glass, and opened my mouth for him to give me the pills. I swallowed them individually, focusing on not choking, and trying to distract myself from the crippling aching of my stomach.

"Stay here," he ordered me, rising to his feet again. "Don't move; I'm going to call Carlisle."

I nodded, downing the rest of the water in three gulps. I placed the empty glass on the cushion beside me, curling up again as he disappeared out the front door. I didn't know why he couldn't just call in my presence. He probably just didn't want to scare me. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to will away the pain. There was a faint hollow ringing in my ears, making my head throb, but the feeling was nothing in comparison to the main throbbing of my center. I tried to work on my breathing, trying to keep it as even and level as possible, but it continued to come in shallow, labored gasps. I clutched my hands tighter to my knees, digging them into my skin.

Suddenly Edward burst through the door. I quickly raised my head and met his eyes. He frowned as he slid his phone back into his pocket.

"Carlisle and Esme are on their way. The others are staying out; Alice wanted to come but I told her not to."

"Why?"

"She shouldn't be here. She's no help to us right now, and she'd just put more stress on you."

"Edward," I struggled. He was right to keep Alice away, but I didn't like the tone of his voice. "She's my sister now; my best friend."

"And I am your husband, and I told her no." He scowled. "And I thought the _dog_ was your best friend."

I was startled by the malice in his voice, and almost too afraid to answer. I brought my knees up closer to my chin, desperately wrapping my arms around my sides. "I don't know what Jake is right now." I winced as a particularly sharp stab hit me. "Things didn't go so well the last time I saw him. And why are you so angry? You're scaring me."

He closed his eyes, exhaling slowly until his clenched fists loosened. "I'm sorry," he sighed. "Carlisle was just being...difficult, and it frustrated me."

"What did he say?"

He shook his head, walking back to the couch and sitting down by my side. "Nothing. It doesn't matter."

I didn't press him for answers, mostly because I didn't feel like talking anymore. But I knew I would find out anyway; Carlisle was bound to say something when he arrived.

"I told Esme to stay, too, but she insisted on coming." The corners of his lips twisted up into a brief smile. "She regards you so much like a daughter, do you know that? Once she told me that I was never to hurt you in even the slightest manner, or she would never forgive me. She's very protective of you."

"She doesn't need to be." I tried to smile. "I have you for that."

He returned my smile, his eyes warm despite the worry in them. "Always, Mrs. Cullen. I will always protect you."

He climbed up onto the couch beside me, gently pulling me into his lap so that he was curled into a ball around me. I continued to gasp in pain and rock back and forth, keeping my arms tight at my sides. He held me close, providing me with the extra protection that only he could give, and giving me an impossible feeling of security.

We didn't say anything else until Carlisle and Esme finally arrived ten minutes later. Esme entered first, practically flying to my side in her haste. She rubbed my shoulder gently and kissed my forehead before kissing Edward on the cheek, muttering frantically the entire time. Carlisle came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and whispering in her ear. Whatever he said made her calm down, and her rigid posture relaxed as he rubbed his hand up and down her arm.

"Esme," Edward said, looking up at her.

She nodded. "Yes, I'm sorry Edward. I'm just so worried."

"I know. I am, too." He kissed the top of my head, keeping his arms around me. "But you and Carlisle are here, and you're going to help Bella, right?"

"Right." Carlisle answered, releasing Esme. She flitted to a nearby chair, settling on it nervously.

"Bella," he started, locking my eyes in his penetrating stare. "Can you tell me exactly what you're feeling right now? Edward said that your stomach is the main point of intensity, is that correct?"

I nodded vigorously, grinding my teeth together. I knew when I unclenched them I would scream.

"He tried giving you pain relievers, right?"

I nodded again.

"Did they work at all? Do you feel at all different; they should have taken effect instantly."

I shook my head, gasping as I opened my mouth. "No. I knew they wouldn't work."

He looked at Edward for a second, then back to me. "I'll be right back. Let me get my bag."

"What's wrong with me?" I murmured once he'd left. I pressed my head against Edward's chest, biting down on my lip in agony.

"We're going to find out, love," he whispered. "We'll find out."

Carlisle returned then, wearing a white doctor's coat and carrying a black leather bag that I recognized from the hospital. All of the doctors had them. I watched as he opened it and pulled out a long thin case, and then pulled out a small vial full of a glossy clear liquid.

"What's that?" I asked, eyeing the drug warily.

"Morphine," he responded. "It'll numb you completely; you won't feel any more pain."

He snapped the case open, revealing a sharp needle that would deliver the medicine to me. I sank back into Edward's chest, eyes wide.

"I know you don't like shots, Bella. Trust me, I remember." He smiled gently. "But this is going to help you. You want the pain to stop, right?"

I nodded. "Of course."

"Then let me give this to you." He pulled on a pair of rubber gloves and then unscrewed the cap of the bottle. I watched as he dipped the needle into it, filling the capsule with the clear liquid, and then re-screwing the top. My heart jumped as he turned toward me, my fear momentarily overpowering the pain.

I closed my eyes as he injected the needle into my arm, releasing the morphine into my bloodstream. Almost instantly, I could feel the heavy numbness sweeping over me, disconnecting me from all sense of touch. The pain dulled, and then disappeared. But I couldn't feel Edward's arm around me, either. But the aching was gone, and that was an enormous relief.

"There," Carlisle said, cleaning the tip of the needle before wrapping it up and throwing it away. He put the empty case back in his bag. "Can you feel anything, Bella?"

"No." I shook my head. "You're right; completely numb."

He smiled. "I told you it would make you feel better."

"Thank you."

"Now," he sighed, sitting down in a chair next to Esme. "Now that you're in better condition for the time being, I have a few more questions for you both."

I looked up at Edward warily. He just nodded. "Go ahead."

Carlisle noticed my expression. "Don't worry Bella, this is the fun part. Now we get to figure out what's wrong." He laughed softly, and I relaxed.

"What exactly were you doing when you first noticed the pain?"

"Edward was making me breakfast," I said, creasing my eyebrows. "He was making me an omelette, because he knew my craving has been eggs these past ten or so days. It was very strange; I was sitting on the counter while he cooked, and when I took a deep breath of the smell..." I shrugged.

"It just started hurting."

I nodded. "I don't know what happened. It's like, my body completely rejected it, and then it turned into this unbearable aching in my stomach."

"What were you using, Edward?"

"Just normal eggs, parmesan cheese, and some mint and parsley. Nothing unusual."

"And you'd never had any type of reaction to any of those things before, Bella?"

"Never."

"So you know you're not allergic?"

"Yes." I hesitated. "Why?"

He sighed. "Because I want Edward to make you another omelette, and I want you to try to eat it this time. If you have an abnormal reaction, we'll test with some other food and see if you have a similar or different reaction. You'll be very safe, and the morphine is in your system now, so you won't experience any discomfort again."

"I don't know, Carlisle," Edward answered before I could open my mouth. "Doesn't that sound a bit risky?"

"Sometimes you have to take risks, Edward." He kept his eyes level with Edward's, his expression suddenly hard. "I've learned that through more than three hundred years of experience."

Edward's hands tightened into fists, his jaw clenching and his lips twisting into a scowl. I watched, surprised by the sudden hostility in his eyes. But then again, he'd had a similar reaction when I told him the exact same thing – sometimes you _have_ to take risks.

"Now," Carlisle started, clasping his hands together in his lap, "Are you going to do as I ask, Edward? Or do I have to cook for her myself?" He smiled, his expression no longer intense.

Edward, however, didn't lighten. He continued to glare at his father as he slid me off his lap and set me on the cushion next to him. He swiftly kissed my cheek and then rose to his feet, storming off to the kitchen. Before he disappeared, I heard him mutter something about Carlisle never doing anything for me so long as he could stop him. I hoped he didn't mean it; he seemed to have forgotten that Carlisle had just saved me from the most excruciating pain of my existence. But then again, I trusted Edward in the kitchen more than anyone else besides me.

I stared at the empty doorway he'd vanished through. A cloud of darkness seemed to hover in the air, sustaining his negativity. I frowned.

"Why is he so angry?" I asked, turning toward Carlisle. "He said he was frustrated with you; something you'd said to him on the phone."

He sighed, his still-entwined hands collapsing limply into his lap. "He's just upset that this situation isn't going the way he wants. He knows I'm right, and he knows that I have your best interest at heart" – he smiled gently as he met my eyes – "but he's unwilling to accept that all things come with some form of danger; sometimes more precarious than others, but never easy. He's absolutely terrified of putting you in even the slightest jeopardy, and he's decided to take it out on me because I can't provide him with a solution that keeps you entirely safe."

"What about…abortion?" I struggled to make the word roll off my tongue. "I mean, that's what he's leaning towards. It's what he wants."

"Even that has its risks. Anything could go wrong in any situation. But Bella," his gold eyes were suddenly intense, keeping me locked in their gaze, "that's not what you want, is it?"

I shook my head. "No. Never; I could never let him do that."

He nodded thoughtfully. "And that's the other reason he's angry."

"What? That I won't give up the baby?"

"No, not that. He would never blame any of this on you, Bella." He sighed again, creasing his eyebrows slightly. "He's being idealistic; in his mind there _has_ to be some way for you to be safe _and_ happy. You get to have the baby, be parents, and you're protected thoroughly at every minute."

"But there's no way that…"

"I know. It's impossible. He knows that, too, but he refuses to accept it. He's letting the stress get to him, and letting it cloud his better judgment." He reached forward to lay his hand on top of mine, though the morphine prevented me from feeling his icy touch. I knew what it would feel like, though, and his concern comforted me.

"Please, forgive him for his behavior. He doesn't know what he's saying."

I nodded; relieved to finally understand what was wrong with my love. "Of course." I sighed. "Poor Edward."

"No, don't pity him either. He doesn't deserve your mercy. He should be more responsible; he's being a coward – trying to run away from his problems. I commend you for wanting to stay and fight; you deserve praise for that."

"No I don't." I shook my head. "I'm not fighting for me."

"I know. And that's exactly why you deserve to win."

"Yes, Bella." Esme spoke suddenly, reaching forward to touch my hand as well. "You're an extremely brave young woman." She smiled. "Edward doesn't know what he's doing."

A low growl made me look up from my new parents' soft faces; Edward was leaning against the doorframe, a tray with my meal in his hands. His teeth were pulled back in a menacing grimace; I knew he'd heard everything, and he wasn't happy.

His parents were against him; disappointed in him – siding with me, the insignificant little human girl. The pure abhorrence in his eyes was razor sharp; acute to the point of absolute hatred. He swiftly came in and dropped the tray on the coffee table by my couch, and then headed for the front door.

"Edward!" I called, jumping to my feet.

"Don't." His voice was ice cold, and he addressed me without turning. "I'm going out for a few hours." He twisted his head just enough to meet my eyes for the briefest second. "Don't follow me."

I ran after him anyway, rushing to the door as fast as my unsteady legs could carry me. I threw open the door, scanning the surrounding trees and listening for any sound of movement, but it was useless. It was still too dark to see anything, and the wind drowned out any noise besides its powerful gusts. Something in my peripheral vision glimmered as I turned to go back inside, and I walked to the end of the porch and bent to pick it up. It was his phone.

With a sigh I slipped it into the bodice of my dress and reentered the main room, closing the door against the freezing night air and howling wind.

He'll come back, I thought to myself as I slowly drifted back to the couch. He just needs some time to think. But he'll come back.

He'll come back to me.

* * *

(A/N:) Holy crow this chapter is FINALLLYYYYYYYY DOOOONNNNEEE!!!!! Geez...it took me AGES to finish; weeks to be exact. And what do you know? I said that chapters following my extremely (well, not anymore) long chapter two would always be shorter...but this one is about six pages longer *collapses* Well, I changed my mind - this is my favorite chapter so far. I love the struggle that Edward is going through, and his determination to keep Bella safe, despite the opposing forces (his family) that are convinced that he needs to back down. The next chapter should pick up where the book officially left off (yes, that means Jake is back in the picture...) if things work out. If not the next chapter, then definitely the one after. Expect an update in about ten days! :D

Thank you everyone (so much!!!) for all the support and favs/alerts. But I'm feeling lonely without comments. You really have no idea how much they mean to me. I mean...10 comments? I'm feeling sad reading other people works, with like 500+ (yes, I know I'm being selfish haha XD) I'll try my best to write back to everyone (sorry to those that I haven't yet responded, I'm not trying to be mean!), because hearing what people have to say really really matters a lot. Maybe I'll be forced to stop, because I'm convinced no one likes this enough to want me to continue...So please, when you fav/alert, please please comment!!! I'll send Edward over to kiss you if you do!!! (Okay...maybe not. Bella would kill me...) Thanks so much!!!

--Stephanie (who is now finally 15!!! Yay XD Sorry...I just had to throw that out because I'm excited; my birthday was the 26th 3)


	4. Reactions

11. REACTIONS

I collapsed back onto the couch without really acknowledging where I was. My mind was still focused on Edward, and the only thing my eyes could see was the pure loathing on his face as he'd run from the house. I had seen that the blackness was directed only towards his adoptive parents, and not towards me in the slightest, but I knew I deserved the majority of it. I wished he would learn that I really wasn't all that perfect – not in the slightest – and I needed to be punished for certain things. He always brushed things off, telling me it wasn't my fault and that anyone would have done exactly what I had. He always tried to make me feel better, but this time, I had to be the one to comfort him. But how was I to do that when he wouldn't come home?

I pulled his phone out of my bodice, staring down at it thoughtfully. My fingers ran across the smooth metal of its body, still unable to feel anything, but still knowing what it would be like. I sighed deeply as I set it down on the coffee table before me.

"Bella." Carlisle spoke suddenly. I looked up to meet his eyes. His expression matched mine; exhaustion, worry, and deep remorse. I sighed again.

"Is he going to be okay?"

He nodded. "He'll be fine. Just give him some time."

"You knew he'd listen, didn't you?"

Esme glanced over at him, chewing on her bottom lip nervously. Finally, Carlisle sighed and nodded again.

"Yes, we did know, Bella. And even if we hadn't said anything…"

"He would have read it in your minds." I finished his statement unthinkingly. It was an automatic response.

"Yes."

"Why did you have to do that to him?" I felt so horrible. I wanted nothing more than to run into Edward's arms and kiss all his worries and pains away. "He's done nothing wrong. He's done nothing more than any of us, right?"

Esme answered this time. "Sweetheart, Edward doesn't always explain things very clearly to us. I can understand that, though – at times, we're a very divided family. And we all know that he trusts you more than all of us combined. If _you_ don't entirely understand his actions and motives…there's a good chance that none of us have a clue."

"It might just be the stress, Bella," Carlisle added, placing his hand on top of Esme's. "And I know he hates himself for allowing this to happen. But there was no way of knowing that _this_ would be the outcome she had seen. It could have been anything, and I highly doubt getting you pregnant was something Edward had ever worried or thought about. None of us knew it was even possible for that to happen."

I paused, digesting all they'd said, and suddenly something hit me. "Wait, what were you saying about 'the outcome she'd seen'? _Did_ Alice have a vision of this? Edward said she hadn't."

"No." Carlisle shook his head. "No, she did have a vision, but it wasn't of this exact situation."

"I don't understand."

"About a week before your wedding, Alice saw something very strange. She said it was very dark, nothing at all distinguishable. But the aura was dire; she knew something terrible was about to happen. Something life changing. But she had no idea what it was."

My pulse quickened a bit; his words sent a jolt through my system.

"She had another vision, similar to the first, just the other day. The day that you called and told me you were pregnant. But, like the other, it still didn't make any sense. None of us knew what it meant."

Suddenly everything was put into perfect context, and I knew _exactly_ why Edward was terrified to the point of insanity. He probably thought she had seen the day I would die. And he thought it was all his fault.

My voice was a shaky whisper when I answered. "But now we do."

He nodded slowly. "That's why he's so worried about this child. He truly believes that it will be the thing to finally snatch you away from him forever."

I raised my hand to my mouth, closing my eyes. "Oh no. No, no, this can't be happening." I had begun to violently shake my head, unable to regain control of myself. I felt another panic attack on the horizon. My breath came in sharp gasps, and my hands trembled as I lowered them to my sides.

"Bella!" Esme rushed to my side, clambering next to me on the couch and pulling me into a tight embrace. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and back, and I laid my head on her shoulder and tried to pull myself together. Two breakdowns in two hours was far too many. But this time, I was worried for me as well as the baby. I was scared for my life.

"Carlisle," I gasped, my chest rising and falling at a rapid pace, "Am I going to die?"

His expression was level as he returned my gaze with fierce, determined eyes. "No, Bella." He slightly shook his head. "No. I promise that you are never going to die. We would never allow that to happen. Edward would kill himself a thousand times before he ever let that happen, as you know very well."

I nodded, shuddering slightly at the memory his words dug from the back of my head; something I'd tried long and hard to forget. "Yes, I know."

"Bella, just try to calm down," Esme pleaded, holding me tighter. "Deep breathing. I remember reading somewhere that it helps humans relax. Try that."

I smiled briefly at her and obliged. I focused on positive things, though there weren't many at the time, and forced the negativity out of my mind. You're not going to die, I told myself. Idiot, get a grip. You don't know for sure what Alice saw. Stop making things so much harder.

Within seconds, my heartbeat had begun to slow.

"Thank you, Esme," I told her once I had regained my breath.

She seemed surprised that it had worked. "You're welcome."

I grinned at her expression as I pulled away from her arms. The smile felt fake, but I kept it on; I had to convince her and Carlisle, as well as myself, that I was perfectly all right. If only Edward was back – then maybe I could be. I quickly brushed away the beginnings of the tears pooling in my eyes.

I looked up and noticed that Carlisle was holding the plate that Edward had left me, inspecting the omelette closely from different angles. He glanced over at me and the corner of his mouth rose slightly into a small smile.

"Bella, do you feel better now?"

I nodded. "Sorry."

"There's nothing to apologize for. You're going through an incredible amount of stress; it's only natural to feel helpless every now and then."

I nodded again. "Thank you."

His smile widened a bit. Esme kept her arm around my waist, keeping me close. Her immense concern and desire to comfort me was overwhelming; her maternal hospitality was almost tangible, and I felt incredibly thankful to have someone like her as my second mother. Renée, of course, always provided far more than she needed to and watched me like I was the single most delicate and fragile thing in the world through my early years, but Esme could resonate a certain sense of comfort and strength that not even my true mother could give.

I eyed the omelette warily. Its smell still burned through me, even with the morphine clouding my entire body.

"Do I still have to eat that?" I asked Carlisle quietly.

He set the plate back down on the tray. "No. Not right now."

I frowned. "When, then?"

"I think it would be best to wait for Edward to return."

I nodded, thankful for Edward's sake. It would only torment him further to learn that something had happened to me while he was away, chasing his thoughts in the forest.

"But I do have to ask, does the smell still bother you, right now?"

"Yes." My nose crinkled up at the searing fire that would be tearing me apart were it not for the powerful medicine in my blood. Though there was no pain, the smell was still awful.

"Hmmm…" He nodded thoughtfully. "That is something we shall figure out later. For now, I suggest you get some more rest. You look exhausted."

"Good idea."

"But Carlisle," Esme started, sounding confused, "Didn't she just sleep?"

"I did," I answered automatically. "But I _am_ still very tired. Nothing seems to be making sense anymore."

She sighed. "Very well. Would you like for me to carry you up to Edward's room?"

I shook my head, rising to me feet simultaneously. "I'm fine. But thank you for asking."

"All right." She watched as I headed towards the winding staircase, my legs shaking with every step. As I began to ascend, I heard her murmur, "Sleep well. Don't let the demons keep you awake."

I glanced back, startled. She had risen to her feet as well, and was gazing at me sadly. I smiled once more before hurrying up the stairs, wondering the entire him how she could possibly know of my horrible dreams. The nightmares that I believed to be my future.

* * *

The second I had fallen asleep, wrapped tight under the warm mountains of blankets and sheets Edward's gold bed provided, I knew that I was having my nightmare. It was the same every time. But this time, it was different.

Instead of watching, horrified, as the beautiful child lay on the corpses of those that I loved, he was sitting on the ground looking up at me with that same terrified expression in his sparkling green eyes. He was watching _me _in fear, rather than my usual fearing for him. I noticed that something was matted into his tousled bronze hair; something staining his white clothes. Then I realized that surrounding him was a pool of blood.

My blood.

I looked down and saw that my body was bleeding profusely; at an amount that should have knocked me unconscious within seconds. But I didn't feel anything. I could only watch in disbelief and horror.

And that's when I noticed them. The silent men in the ash black cloaks, watching with menacingly scarlet eyes. One of them reached out towards the child, and I screamed, lunging forward to protect him. I landed hard on my side, beginning to feel lightheaded from my excessive blood loss. I kept my eyes on the dark men, so I didn't at first realize when something sharp pierced my chest.

A jeweled dagger cut into my skin, the blade and handle crafted in pure gold, and sharpened to a deadly point. The beautiful emerald-eyed child, my child, widened his eyes in shock as he let go of the dagger and slowly began to back away, covering his hands with blood in the process. The blade clattered to the ground, shifting shape the moment it made contact with the smooth marble. I watched as it morphed into a silver syringe, its needle glistening and its capsule filled with a vampire's venom. I reached for it, and screeched as the burning hot metal scorched my hand. It slipped from my fingers, and upon landing shattered like glass. Venom spilt everywhere, burning my eyes and mixing with the blood still seeping from my wounds.

I was slowly beginning to lose consciousness, and I could feel I was going to die. As my eyes began to close, I saw my beautiful child run towards the man that had reached for him. Despite having just stabbed me in the heart, I felt no anger towards him and let my limp body flood itself with an intense worry and fear. I wanted to call out, but found I didn't have the strength to. The last thing I saw was the man scoop up the child in his arms and hold him protectively, lowering the hood of his cloak. The same mess of untidy bronze hair met my eyes, and Edward stared down at me, his expression broken. The look of absolute pain and hopelessness – by far the most terrifying and scarring memory I would keep – was the last thing that filled my gaze before everything shifted to an emotionless and disconnected black.

* * *

I woke up screaming, my body drenched in sweat and my pulse hammering through the roof. I glanced around wildly in the darkness and felt around my chest for a dagger's wound, only to feel my sticky hot skin as I was weighed down by all the blankets I'd buried myself in before falling asleep. I jumped up, pushing all the covers off and collapsing forward, sinking into the mattress, my breathing quick and shallow.

Someone burst through the door, rushing to my side and pressing their ice cold hand to mine. The morphine had faded, Carlisle haven not given me a stifling amount, and I welcomed the frigidness of my family's skin like a starving man would food.

"Bella!" Esme gasped, turning me over to discover that I had started crying.

She grabbed my shoulders, pulling me up so she could hug me tightly. She gasped audibly when I pressed my head into her shoulder, not even trying to calm down. The nightmare had rattled me far beyond reasoning, and I was still trying to convince myself that it wasn't real.

"Bella, your skin feels like it's on fire!" she exclaimed in a startled tone. "What happened?'

"The v-venom," I stuttered, my voice shaking uncontrollably. "And b-b-blood. E-everywhere. And h-his f-face." Violent sobs began to rip from my throat.

"Shh, honey, it's all right," she tried to soothe me, holding me closer. "It was just a bad dream. You're all right. Nothing has happened."

"W-where is h-he?" I begged, desiring his arms more than anything in the world. "W-where is Edward?"

"He's not here, sweetheart," she murmured, pulling my face back so she could look into my eyes. She sighed as she brushed my hair behind my ear, her lips curving down into a frown. "He's not back yet. I'm so sorry."

I nodded pitifully, tears still gushing heavily down my face. "O-oh."

"Bella, what was it?" she asked, gently cupping my chin in her hand, holding my gaze. Her soft golden eyes were clouded by a heavy mask of concern. "What was it in your dream that could have terrified you so much? Quite honestly, I don't think I've heard a more tortured scream in all my years." Her frown deepened. "Please, tell me."

I looked down, breaking free of her stare. I wasn't sure that I wanted to repeat my fears; there was something particularly private about them, and also the mere thought of recounting my bloody death sent a chill up my spine.

I shook my head limply. "I-it was j-just e-everything. I d-don't know h-how to e-explain it. I j-just t-thought that I w-was g-going to d-die." That wasn't a complete lie; it was stretching the truth a bit – I had, indeed, died. Not just feared its possibility. But no one needed to know that.

She creased her eyebrows, immense worry knitting them together. She nodded once. "All right."

She hugged me again, kissing my cheek when she pulled away. I was still crying, but the sobs were growing gentler, and breathing was becoming increasingly easier. I fought to keep as much control as possible.

"Bella," Esme beckoned, holding out her hand. I hadn't noticed she'd risen to her feet. "Come, I have a hot bath waiting for you. I was fixing it up when I heard you scream. I think it may help you calm down, and relax."

I grasped her hand, letting her pull me up off the bed. With a small half-smile, I followed after her as she led me to the grand master bathroom on the far end of the second floor; opposite from her and Carlisle's master suite. She opened the door and a warm rush of inviting stream spilled out into the air. Despite wanting to escape the heat my nightmare had brought, this warmth was delicious, and exactly what I needed.

"If you need anything, just call," she said as she led me to the glossy porcelain tub in the back. It looked large enough to hold four full grown men. "There's towels on this rack, and under the cabinet by the sink should be some soaps and shampoos and any other bath product you might want. I'll lay out some fresh clothes for you on Edward's bed, all right?"

I nodded gratefully. "T-thank you, E-Esme."

She smiled. "It's nothing at all, dear." She squeezed my shoulder as she left, and then closed the heavy doors behind her and headed back down the hall.

I waited a minute until I was sure that I was absolutely alone, and then I let the rest of my tears out, collapsing to the floor and crying until I couldn't cry anymore. The nightmare replayed vividly in my mind, forcing itself to be relived despite my pathetic efforts to suppress it. Edward's face continued to haunt me, and even though I knew it was only a dream, it had felt so real. And I knew that that would be exactly the expression to scar his perfect face if it did, truly, become a reality.

* * *

An hour later found me lying in the glass-like bathtub, breathing in the heavy steam and mouthwatering aromas of the lilac and jasmine bath soaps Esme had left by the edge of the tub. I hadn't bothered to wash my hair yet, and it was still dry, but the rest of my body was submerged under a deep pool of water and smooth white bubbles. I was taking her advice and trying to relax, and it was working famously. The tension seemed to have vanished, and the only thoughts that filled my head were those of warmth and comfort and sweet-smelling flowers. Somewhere, in the back of my head, my vision of Edward still tugged at me like a sharp knife, but I'd earlier managed to succumb to it and let the worst pass. But I still watched the clock on the wall above me, counting away the minutes as I waited for him to return.

It was nearly seven by now; I'd only managed to sleep about two hours before the nightmare had snatched any chance of a pleasurable slumber away. The sun was beginning to rise; the others would be returning soon, and hopefully, Edward with them. I concentrated on that idea, letting it replace any worry or fear that I still possessed.

I continued to wait in silence, and before I knew it, my eyes must have slipped closed and my mind fallen into a thoughtless coma of sorts. I knew I wasn't asleep, but I wasn't exactly aware of anything around me. I just stared blankly at the darkness behind my eyes and listened to the quiet dripping of the bath's faucet and the subtle sloshing of the water as it shifted with every breath that I took.

I heard a quiet knock on the door and my eyes immediately snapped open, automatically glancing back at the clock. It was a little past eight. Another hour had gone by unnoticed.

The knocking resumed, even quieter than before. My gaze moved to the large wood door. I watched as it slowly creaked partly open, and the face I'd been pining for appeared in the crack, looking abashed and heavily apologetic.

"Can I come in?" Edward asked almost timidly. It wasn't an emotion I was used to receiving from him, but I figured he was feeling remorseful for his sudden disappearance. Not that I blamed him; after hearing what was said against him, I probably would have done the exact same thing. Well…almost.

I nodded, lifting my hand from beneath the water's surface and beckoning him to come forward. "Yes, of course."

He slipped through the doorway and then turned to close the door, locking it. I watched as he slowly made his way toward me, exceptionally cautious for some unknown reason. He kneeled down next to the tub, resting his arms on the edge and staring back into my eyes.

I frowned. "Edward, are you all right?"

He sighed. "That's what I should be asking you."

"What do you mean?"

He gave me a meaningful look. Realization dawned on me.

"Oh." I quickly looked down, embarrassed. "Oh. Esme told you about the…?"

He nodded once. "She said you were screaming so loudly she was surprised I didn't hear you."

I grimaced. "Oh."

"Again, are you okay?"

I looked back up to see him staring at me intently, heavy concern and deep worry reflected in his now pure-gold eyes. I momentarily forgot how to breathe.

"I'm fine," I said quickly, and he scowled. With another frown, I rolled my eyes and corrected, "Very well, I'm okay. Or all right. Whichever you choose."

He returned my gesture, rolling his eyes at me. "Bella."

"It was just a dream," I said confidently, noting how much easier it was to believe my words with him there. I dismissed the tiny pricks of terror that shot through me as the dream was brought back to my mind. "Nothing more. It's not real."

"But it still scared you."

"Edward, I've been having nightmares for weeks now. No big deal." I tried to nonchalantly shrug. "I'm sure if you could dream you'd have some yourself. They're natural."

"Dreaming your death?" He raised his eyebrows. "Bella, that's not something to just shrug off. Please, tell me about it."

I shook my head. "No."

He stared at me incredulously. "Why not?"

"Because I don't want to. Simple as that."

He sighed in frustration, running a hand through his tousled mess of hair. I changed the topic.

"Where did you go?" I asked intently, honest curiosity evident in my tone.

He looked at my expression and frowned. "Nowhere in particular."

"You're lying," I scolded. "I can tell. Where did you go?"

"Why do I have to tell when you refuse to?"

"Just spit it out," I sighed, abruptly exasperated.

"Fine." He surrendered with another sigh. "I hunted for a bit, and then I went to the meadow."

His answer surprised me, though I probably should have thought as much. "Oh."

"Remember, that used to be my place where I would go when I needed time to think?"

I nodded slowly. "Yes, I do remember you telling me that."

"Well, obviously it means much more that that now, but it's still a good place to go." He furrowed his eyebrows. "It's different going there alone, though. Now that I've brought you there, it just didn't feel right without you. It felt strangely...empty."

I shuddered slightly, remembering all too well the feeling of absolute unbearable pain and emptiness I'd experienced gazing at that meadow just a few months ago, when I had been completely and utterly alone. I'd never told Edward of my little journey to the place where we had first confessed our love, because I was afraid it would torture him too greatly. Not wanting to raise his suspicion now, I forced the grimace off my face and gave a tiny nod.

He sighed again. "I only stayed there a couple of hours. I couldn't bear it any longer. And I missed you." The corner of his mouth raised slightly into a smaller version of my favorite crooked smile. I had to smile shyly in response.

"I knew it had been irrational of me to leave without warning, but I was just…"

"Furious?" I interjected, seeing he was struggling for the right word.

He nodded. "I knew Carlisle and Esme weren't exactly thrilled with the way I chose to deal with this situation, but I never expected them to turn on me completely."

"They didn't," I said, laying my wet hand on top of his and rubbing it softly with my thumb. Water dripped from my skin onto his, streaming down his wrist like crystal tears.

He looked up from our hands and raised his eyebrows skeptically. I frowned.

"Give them another chance. They never meant to hurt you."

"I know." He moved my hand from his and took it in his grip, squeezing it gently.

He paused for a second, and then suddenly brought my hand up to his face for inspection, my palm facing up. I blinked when he frowned.

"What is it?" I asked curiously.

"How long have you been in here? Your skin is wrinkled like a prune."

"I'll have you know that I like prunes, so don't expect me to take that as an insult."

He rolled his eyes, bringing our hands back to the bathtub's rim. "You didn't answer my question."

I shrugged. "I don't know. About two hours."

"Well that explains it. What exactly have you been doing all this time this could be so entertaining that you didn't want to leave?"

I shrugged again. "Thinking. Waiting for you."

His frown deepened. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's not your fault that I chose a bathtub full of hot water as my place to kill time." I sighed, flicking a soap bubble with my finger. "Well, once hot water. It was quite nice at the beginning."

"Your hair's still dry." It came out as more of a question that a statement.

I grinned slightly. "Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I never bothered to go under. I was going to wash it, but I guess I just got distracted." My lips twitched into a tiny frown. "I bet it's terrifying. Worse than my nightmare."

"Not funny, Bella."

"Who said I was trying to be funny?" How easily I could relax and laugh about the thing that had just literally scared me to the point of death! Everything was so much easier with him by my side. I was never going to let him leave me again to sleep by myself. He chased away all of my fears.

He rolled his eyes and got to his feet, slipping his hand from my grasp and beginning to walk away.

"No!" I begged, reaching toward him desperately. "I didn't mean it. Please don't leave!"

He turned back to smirk at me. "I'm not going anywhere."

I watched as he walked to the cabinet by the sink, crouching down to gaze inside and pull a few things out. I stared at him blankly when he straightened up and looked back at me, his smirk even more pronounced.

"Edward, what are you doing?"

"I'm going to wash your hair for you."

I immediately flushed, remembering the last time I'd offered for him to do that. Complete rejection. And horrible timing. And the almost-end of our almost-short-lived honeymoon.

"Of course, only if you want me to," he said, his face becoming serious as he took in my expression.

I hadn't realized that I was giving him a look of absolute horror. I quickly smiled, nodding enthusiastically as my face reddened further. "Yes, I do."

He shook his head slightly and smiled back, walking towards me slowly. He knelt down by the tub again and instructed me to dunk my head underwater. I gave him a confused look as he unscrewed the bottle of strawberry scented shampoo – my favorite kind, coincidentally or purposefully? – and was about to squeeze some into his open palm.

He looked back up, noticing I wasn't moving. I continued staring at him in confusion. He furrowed his eyebrows, giving me an odd look.

"What?"

My blush deepened, if that were possible. My voice was small and timid as I responded, "You aren't…coming in?"

He still looked confused for a moment, but then he realized what I meant and sighed. I looked down at the foamy bubble surface completely shielding my body from sight and continued to blush furiously. Idiot, I thought to myself. I'm such an idiot. Just like last time.

To my surprise he snickered quietly, making me raise my head. His golden eyes were amused as he stared back into my mortified brown ones.

"You are _so_ human," he said, the last of a thousand times. "Your hormones are even more out of whack than anyone I've ever met. I don't need to be able to read your mind to know that." He shook his head, obviously enjoying tormenting me. "Honestly, I don't know what I'm going to do with you if you're still this bad as a vampire."

I pouted slightly, my face surely the exact shade of a tomato by now. "You don't have a ridiculously mad and unstoppable desire for me?" The words slipped from my tongue before I could stop them.

"Of course I do," he answered, surprising me again. "That's the problem. I just know how to handle it better."

"Well I wish you wouldn't," I grumbled.

He sighed. "Oh, Bella. When will you learn?"

"When it finally kills me."

He shot me a dark look, sudden anger flashing in his eyes. I cringed back slightly, instantly regretting the bitter snub.

"I'm sorry," I murmured. "I didn't mean that."

His posture loosened, and he nodded. "I know. Just don't say things like that. Ever."

I nodded, embarrassed again. I felt like I was a child being scolded for talking back to her parent. "I'm sorry."

He took my face in his hand gently, cupping my chin with his palm so I was forced to meet his eyes. They were calm again, and slightly tainted with sadness. "Don't be."

He released me and rose to his feet, surprising me yet again. I watched as he slowly removed his shirt, letting it fall to the tile floor in a crumpled heap.

"Edward," I murmured, instantly feeling guilty. "You don't have to do this."

"I know." He smiled gently. "I want to. You want it, and I want you to be happy."

He proceeded to kick off his jeans and the rest of his clothing, leaving me breathless – and red-faced – as I watched. Holding my hair products in one hand, he smoothly slipped into the bathtub beside me, his marvelously flawless body disappearing beneath the white snow of bubbles just like mine had. The next second I felt his arm wrap snugly around my waist, pulling me to him. I leaned my head back against his chest, enjoying the mix of the calming sensation of his touch as well as the weightless feeling the water gave me. My nudger gave a little kick, the first one in a while, sending vibrations through my body. Edward hissed slightly, but didn't say anything. I smiled.

We stayed like this for a while, just enjoying the silence and the feel of the water and our bodies pressed lightly together. Eventually, I dunked my head below the surface, of course coming back up sputtering like a drowning cat. Edward just laughed, pushing the dripping nearly-black hair from my eyes so I could see. I glared at him, only making him laugh harder.

"I'm sorry," he said, obviously not. "You should see yourself. You look ridiculous when you do that."

I rolled my eyes. "Just start lathering before I'm forced to punch you."

"I wouldn't try that if I were you," he answered, highly amused.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mr. Invincible and all." I brought my hand back and splashed him in the face instead. He roared with laughter, and I threw my head back and laughed with him. I hadn't laughed in so long; it felt wonderful.

We finally settled down enough to focus on the task at hand. Or rather, his task. I just closed my eyes and moaned in pure ecstasy as his fingers gently massaged my scalp, working their way through my thick tangle of hair and unknotting it with firm but patient hands.

"You know, you could make a killing doing this as a living," I murmured softly, sighing at his perfect touch. "I know _I'd _come back every day."

He chuckled softly, leaning in to whisper in my ear. "The only payment I could ever want is your heart, and your love. And only yours."

"Everything is already yours."

He kissed my neck, making me shiver slightly from the icy electric current that shot through me. "Then you have my full and complete service until the day I die."

I grinned as he poured shampoo into his palm and brought his hands back to my hair, working it in to the roots like a pro.

The scent of strawberries wafted through the air, filling my lungs with its luscious perfume as it clung to my skin. Unexpectedly, a raw burning ripped through my chest as I took another deep breath, instantly setting me back to my earlier pained state.

I let out an agonized groan as the pain traveled down through my body, hitting each place it touched like a raging fire. It wasn't as extreme as the incident with the omelette, but it was still nearly unbearable.

"Bella, Bella what is it?" Edward asked, instantly tense. His hands froze in my hair, his voice panicked.

"It's the pain," I gasped, clutching my stomach. "It's back."

"What? How?!"

I gasped again, my head beginning to spin dangerously. "I don't know."

"I'm getting Carlisle," he said, abruptly making up his mind. I grabbed his hand as he stood up, trying to pull him back down.

"No, don't," I begged, tightening my death grip around his wrist.

He frowned. "Why not?"

"Because it's not as bad as last time. It's just the smell of the strawberries; something about food triggers it in me, I guess." I grimaced. "It's worse when there's actual food there."

He furrowed his eyebrows, slowly sinking back to the surface.

"It's already starting to fade," I said, surprised. The throbbing in my head continued heavily, but the fire in my stomach and chest was fading the time I finished my sentence, it was just a light, nearly-painless gnawing. But my head was making it difficult to concentrate on anything.

"Bella?" Edward asked, noting that my hand subconsciously moved from my stomach to my forehead, pressing against it tightly.

I gave a fleeting smile. "It's nothing now, really. I'm just a little lightheaded." It wasn't a lie, but I didn't want to worry him with the full extent of my headache, or whatever it was. He would just panic and blame himself, and quite possibly storm off again once Carlisle was brought back into the picture and forced to inform him that everything was his fault. All a matter of perspective, of course. I held him blameless to everything.

"Does you stomach still hurt?" he questioned softly, gazing at me with concern.

I shook my head. "No. It was weird; it came back full-force, but then it just…disappeared. I don't know what happened. Now it's just my head."

"Do you feel like you might pass out?"

I hadn't even thought of that. I groaned, letting my head fall back against his chest.

"Is that a yes? Because if it is, I'm sure part of it is from all the steam and water in here. You're probably dehydrated after all this time." He sighed. "I'm so sorry, that's my fault."

"No it's not," I grumbled. "Stop it."

I pulled away from him, dunking my head under the surface to wash out the shampoo and conditioner still clinging to my hair. A bit of it had begun streaming down my face, stinging my eyes. I tried to ignore the loud ringing in my ears as I stood up. Edward was on his feet in seconds, holding me steady as I wobbled a bit on my shaking legs.

"Are you sure that you're-"

"I'm fine," I snapped, extremely irritated. It wasn't his fault; my head was quickly turning my mood bitterly sour. "It's just slippery."

For once, he didn't glower at my statement of 'fine' or attempt to contradict my reasoning. Most days he would accuse me of lying, or not telling the whole truth, and then he would grind me about not being able to read my mind. But he kept his mouth shut, carefully helping me climb out of the bathtub and secure my footing on the cold tile floor.

He grabbed a robe from the hanger and threw it over my shoulders, helping me put my arms through the sleeves, before getting one for himself. He then took one of the towels folded on the rack by the cabinet and put it over my head, gently massaging my soaking hair through the towel and beginning to dry it. I sighed, instantly feeling guilty for snapping at him, and now for letting him do so much. He always exerted far more energy than he needed to just to make sure I was content. I could never return the favor, being the stupid weak human that I was. I couldn't even match his efforts by half.

I struggled to keep myself together as much as possible. I wondered vaguely if the Cullens happened to keep a heavy dosage of Advil in their house. My house. I had to get used to saying that. _My house, my family…_

"Is there anything I can get you?" Edward asked, voicing my thoughts. "Advil, water, sweats and your t-shirt? Do you want to go lie back on the bed?"

I released a deep sigh, smiling slightly. "Edward, relax. I'm not going to die or anything."

Wrong thing to say. Idiot.

He instantly fell silent, looking down dejectedly, like a dog with his tail between his legs. I knew he felt bad for the whole 'reacting like I was about to die at any minute' thing, and probably thought this was my way of telling him to shut up and leave me alone. I knew he still hadn't forgiven himself for leaving me at the house with Carlisle and Esme. Great.

I turned around quickly so I could face him, wincing slightly at the way it affected my head. I placed my hands gingerly on the sides of his face, pulling him down towards me. I raised myself to my toes to kiss him chastely, letting him know I wasn't angry.

His eyes grew brighter as he took in my warm smile and my hands still on him. He smiled back timidly, his pride still slightly wounded. But nothing unmanageable. My smile widened as I took his hand in mine and unlocked the bathroom door, leading us out into the hallway.

He'd scooped up our clothes before we left, carrying them under his arm in a bundle. When we reached the bedroom, he threw them in the clothes hamper and went to his dresser to pull out something clean to wear.

I noticed the outfit Esme had laid out for me; a white tank top under an oversized ash gray sweatshirt, and my torn up dark gray sweats. My respect for her grew instantly. Alice would never let me get away with wearing such bland and unflattering scraps of material that she wouldn't even acknowledge as real clothes. I grinned as I silently thanked Esme, praying Alice wouldn't have a fit when she saw me.

"Do you still want me to get you some Advil?" Edward asked as I pulled on the tank top. It wasn't mine, but it fit me perfectly, allowing just enough room to accommodate my growing stomach. And the black bra Esme had left was also the perfect size for my changing bust. I wondered if she remembered anything at all about her pregnancy, or if she was just wonderful at guesstimating. Either way, I made a mental note to thank her and to ask. Maybe she would know something that could help.

I nodded as I threw the sweatshirt over my head and pushed it down to hang over my tattered sweats. I'd always preferred baggy clothing, especially sweatshirts and jackets, and it felt wonderful to drown in the space. And it was so cozy and warm.

Edward smiled gently. He had thrown on a dark gray V-neck knit cotton shirt with long sleeves, and a pair of dark jeans. He was barefoot, like me, and so gloriously stunning that the sight of him knocked me momentarily breathless. With his messy bronze hair darkened by the water and clinging to his skin, and his already tight shirt hugging his damp body and emphasizing every toned muscle, it was impossible not for me to blush and quickly avert my gaze.

"What is it?" he asked, coming toward me and lifting my chin up with his smooth fingers. I met his eyes, still embarrassed. And stupidly, jealous. Or rather, having another of my moments where I felt like the plainest and ugliest thing next to him. The Greek god Adonis. And me, the little human girl. Pathetic.

"Nothing," I mumbled, going red again.

He snickered and rolled his eyes, leaning down to kiss my forehead. "Please don't tell me you're feeling self-conscious again."

I glared up at him. "Thanks."

He sighed, letting me go. "You're beautiful, Bella." Half of his mouth turned up into my crooked smile. I had to soften at that.

"I'll be right back," he said, walking towards the door. "I'm going to make you feel better. I promise."

I nodded, watching as he opened the door and disappeared. I sat down on the edge of the bed, flinching as a particularly acute stabbing seared through my head. It was like that feeling when you haven't sleep for days and you're so exhausted and your head is throbbing. Or when you finish running three miles without having had any water, and can barely walk straight because so much moisture has been taken from your body.

Edward returned then, holding a glass of water and several small white pills; pain-killers of a different kind than before. This felt like déjà vu all over again. I quickly swallowed the pills and downed the water, cringing slightly. The water tasted strange on my tongue; almost bitter.

"Those should take effect in about thirty minutes," he murmured, sitting next to me on the bed. "I'm sorry they won't work faster."

I lightly shook my head. "Don't worry. That's far quicker than some things I've taken."

He shrugged, pulling his legs up onto the mattress and turning toward me. I copied his movements until we were sitting Indian style and staring straight into each other's eyes. He still looked worried and tense despite my reassurances. I'm sure I just looked exhausted and grumpy.

"You know you're going to have to eat something eventually," he said suddenly, not breaking my gaze.

I nodded. Maybe that was the reason for his tension; he was afraid of what might happen to me when I attempted to eat. Or feared what would happen if I didn't. "Yeah, I know."

"You must be starving." He frowned.

I shrugged. "I'm all right." And I was; a bit hungry perhaps, but nothing at all unmanageable. My body a high tolerance for not eating all day. I'd be fine.

"You are now," he murmured darkly. I wasn't sure if he meant for me to hear.

A knock on the door made me look up. Edward didn't flinch; he must have heard the silent footsteps that I couldn't even sense.

Esme was hovering hesitantly in the open doorway, her palm still curled and leaning against the wooden door. The look on her face made it clear that she was worried about disrupting us from something important.

"Come in, Esme," Edward said to her, not glancing in her direction. I didn't know how he knew it was her without looking, but I didn't ask. Probably a very basic vampire thing. They'd done it before.

"I'm sorry, am I interrupting anything?" she asked. She gazed back and forth between us, sitting cross-legged on the bed and leaning toward each other like we were in the middle of a deep conversation.

He shook his head. "No, Esme. Don't worry. What do you need?"

"Oh, I don't," she said, shaking her head as well. "Carlisle wants to see you and Bella downstairs. He's ready to…test Bella on her reactions." She gave me a pitying look.

I sighed. "Oh."

Edward tensed slightly, and nodded curtly. "Very well. We'll be down in a couple of minutes."

"Of course, dear, take all the time you need," she said, smiling briefly. "He just wanted me to tell you."

"Oh, Esme," I called, jumping to my feet before she could leave. I'd just remembered that I needed to thank her for the clothes.

"Yes?" She turned towards me, raising her delicate eyebrows in confusion.

"I just wanted to thank you for the comfortable clothes," I said, motioning to them. "You don't know how wonderful it feels to have my sweats back on."

She smiled. "You're very welcome, sweetheart. No trouble at all."

I thought about asking her my earlier question, but decided the time wasn't right. I'd ask her later, when I could have more time to just sit and digest any advice she might be able or willing to give. So I just smiled back and nodded. "Well, thanks."

"Are you sure Carlisle knows what he's doing?" Edward suddenly asked from behind me. I hadn't realized he'd stood up and came to stand by me.

"I'm sure he's doing whatever he can," I said, glaring at him slightly. He ignored me, still staring at Esme.

She just sighed. "Yes, I do believe he does. Just have a little more faith in his abilities," she pleaded with her eyes. The sight broke my heart; she was still miserable after dismissing Edward so callously earlier. If that was even called callous; I didn't think Esme had the ability to be cold. Warmth radiated from her always.

"Just trust him, Edward," I added, sighing myself.

"I do," he said, nodding. "Sometimes I just don't trust his actions."

"Come on," I said, pulling gently on his hand. "Then let's just go and get this over with."

He looked at me sadly, the corners of his lips turned down into a pitying frown. He brought our hands up to kiss the back of my palm, and then nodded in defeat. With added melancholy in his step, he held me close as we followed Esme out of the room and down the hall.

* * *

The next hour was painful, embarrassing, terrifying, and just plain depressing. Carlisle had set some different foods out for me, and Edward, being the overly protective husband that he is, insisted on doing any and all the cooking for me, just as before. I didn't mind at all, because I loved how fiercely protective he was of me, but I felt that he might have hurt Carlisle a bit when he reacted so vehemently to the suggestion that he might sit and wait with me while Dr. Cullen prepared a few courses for me.

The testing was not fun. In fact, it was downright awful. Everything I smelled just brought pain, agony, and more pain. Before I was given another dosage of morphine, Carlisle made me attempt to eat a honey and butter covered bagel, two strawberries, and a bite of a toasted chicken, cheese, and avocado sub sandwich. I threw them back up immediately, unable to hold them down for more than a few minutes. Whatever was happening to me was making me immune to food. And not just any food; all food. I was miserable, and I felt sicker than I ever had in my entire life. And that was definitely saying something.

Edward pulled me into his arms as soon as the morphine was injected into my bloodstream, rocking me gently in his lap as Carlisle examined the notes he'd been taking the entire time I was eating. Or rather, attempting to. He made several discouraging noises, ranging from pitying sighs to thoroughly confused and frustrated groans. He examined me again as he had when I'd passed out yesterday, and found the same highly frightening results. I was still losing blood. And a lot of it.

That explained my mind-splitting headache, at least. But there was no proper explanation for the dangerous phenomenon that was occurring inside of me. I could no longer argue or deny the fact that my baby had something to do with it, but I still didn't want to accept it.

"What are we going to do, Carlisle?" Edward asked desperately as I let the numbing sensation of the morphine sweep through my body and dispel any and all sense of pain. I floated comfortably in his arms, not feeling them but feeling the strength and security.

He sighed deeply, shaking his head as he met his son's eyes with despair. "I don't know. Nothing matches up; nothing makes any sense. And we're going to have to find a way to keep Bella in excellent health and well fed, because it seems impossible to do so the natural way."

I groaned miserably. "What's happening to me?"

"We don't know, love, but we're going to keep trying," Edward assured me. "We're going to find out."

"And we're going to keep you and the baby as safe as possible," Carlisle added, attempting a relaxing smile. "We'll never take him away from you."

Edward shot him a frustrated glare, but eventually sighed and nodded.

"Do you mean that?" I asked skeptically, looking up at them.

"Yes Bella, we do," Edward sighed, seeming to come to an unspoken agreement with Carlisle. He looked at him once more, and then returned his gaze to me. The corners of his lips twitched as her saw the sparkle in my eyes. "I promise."

* * *

(A/N:) Oh wow this one took a long time to finish...apologies, everyone! I'm obviously a very easily distracted person, but I actually have good reason for not getting this to you sooner. I'm starting STAR Testing in school tomorrow, but no one cares about that so I'll give you my real reason...

Last weekend, a friend of mine died. She was 15, like me, and an extremely avid surfer. Something happened to her while she was surfing on Wednesday, and on Sunday her parents decided to make the heartbreaking decision to take her off of life support, because she had no brain activity. She was the dearest, sweetest girl, and will be missed more than she'll ever know. So, this is for you Lindsay. Rest in peace.

(And just because I'm afraid of being ambushed, yes I know I said I'd try to pick up where the book left off on this chapter...but I know for sure it will be the next chapter! Apologies!)

--Steph


	5. Clash

12. CLASH

The week following the return home from Isle Esme was hell. Pure _hell_. Mentally, emotionally, and definitely, physically. Compared to the scenic little tropics honeymoon, the Cullen house suddenly seemed irrationally terrifying in so many ways. I felt claustrophobic; not having ever lived in a house, no matter how large and grand it was, with so many people. I felt like an exhibit, or a show dog in a competition as I sat around and had all eyes follow me every time I stood up. And if I took so much as a barely-wobbled step, seven pairs of arms rushed to my aid, battling each other over who would be the one to assist me when I so obviously didn't want any help. I felt miserable, sick, bitter, and broken. My independence was officially gone.

As soon as she'd returned from the unnecessary but highly beneficial hunting trip that day after Edward and I had returned, Rosalie had sprung into action, fully tackling her task head-on. She transformed completely into the most constant companion possible, following my every move with her eyes and her arms. Just like the others, only ten times worse. But I didn't mind her hovering. In fact, I basked in it. She and Edward were the only ones I fully tolerated as the household collapsed into as organized a chaos as imaginable. I tried to stay cool, collected, and allow Alice and Esme to tend to me, but it always brought me too much stress. And before I could even open my mouth to kindly ask them if they could leave me to rest for a few minutes, Rose and Edward were both firing off at them like gunshots; snapping at them with harsh and completely unwanted spite. Edward looked like he would murder them with his bare hands if they even so much as thought of taking one step closer to me after I sent them away the first time. Passionate fire blazed in his eyes, but it wasn't the exact type of passion I was going for. It was hatred, driven by his maddened fears and anxieties so extreme that they had finally forced him to snap.

I'd never seen him jumpier in my life. He was always on edge, always on the very tip and at risk of falling off. His temper held an even shorter fuse than normal, a terrifying thought in itself, and his reactions were so frighteningly instantaneous and vehement that, at times, I almost came to fear him myself.

I knew he'd gone mad with worry, just like the rest of my new family, but his malformed state was easily the most intense. Every time he looked at me, I could see the overwhelming distress and regret his eyes held, and I knew he was equally as broken as I was. But his fractures were entirely different from mine.

As the week had progressed, I'd steadily grown worse in health and become weaker and weaker each day. Despite countless hours of tireless research, Carlisle had been unable to provide any answers or explanations for anything that was happening to me. Thus, there had been no possible way to make my body eat, or to give it the proper rest that it so desperately needed. I grew more and more exhausted, and starvation began to carve its way through my system, quenched only by the occasional doses of an unnamed liquid Carlisle had taken to giving me. He never revealed the name, and he looked pained at the prospect of being forced into throwing such suspiciously negative chemicals into my remaining blood, but I was desperate. I was surviving only on water, and even that had become a torturous task for me. The water tasted exceedingly bitter, seeming to burn a hole in my tongue and in the back of my throat as I forced it down.

My body's shape and proportions had been completely altered in the last three days. I'd grown unnaturally thin and frail, my bones as brittle as glass. We all knew that with one wrong touch, I'd be shattered. My skin had lost its shine; it was now dull, colorless, and paper white. Nearly as pale as the hands that floated permanently by my sides. My hair wasn't sleek, and it too had grown fragile. My eyes weren't as bright, and my sight was slightly hazy. I could no longer taste the natural salt on my skin when I licked my lips. My overall weight should have dropped drastically, too, if it weren't for one thing. My stomach.

From the time I had first entered the intricately carved doors of the Cullen residence approximately eight days ago, my stomach seemed to have at least quadrupled in size. I was now equivalent to the proper proportioning of a woman well into her third trimester. But I wasn't troubled by that fact. Not much.

While everyone around me was still trapped in a sweeping pandemonium and pessimistic exhilaration about anything and everything possibly relating to myself and the baby, I was actually…calm, to a degree. I was still in intense physical pain and under an exhaustingly heavy amount of mental and bodily strain, but at the same time, I was happy. I wasn't healthy, I wasn't doing well, and I was becoming perceptively worse, but that was all okay. All that mattered was that my nudger was safe, and I knew he was. He remained strong. And Edward would save me once he was born, so I had no reason to truly fear. If only I could convince the others to see things my way. It seemed that everyone, even my father, was grasping desperately at that last little shred of hope that they refused to let go of, but still let disappear between their fingers.

Charlie had called two days after Edward and I had arrived back, eager to hear how I was doing as a newlywed, and no doubt secretly hoping that I'd changed my mind and was planning on divorcing my vampire husband. He wanted to see me, too, but Carlisle told him no, claiming I was desperately ill with a rare South American disease and was quarantined. The exact excuse I'd thought of using to cover for just my pregnancy. But of course, now I really was sick.

I knew I sounded horrible as I talked to Charlie, but there really wasn't anything I could do about it. His tone was panicked as he answered my questions and asked me his own. I wanted to tell him to relax, but he had good reason to worry, even just knowing the half-truth. And if he ever learned the whole truth, well…he'd go through the roof. And Edward would never ever be allowed near me again, despite us being married. I sighed deeply, rolling my eyes at the thought.

"Bella? Baby, what is it?" Charlie demanded through the phone.

"Nothing," I murmured quickly. "Just tired."

"Oh, well…you should get some rest, then," he said awkwardly. I knew it was still difficult for him to express his concern and emotion aloud, even after all this time. "I'll let you go sleep."

"Okay, I will. I love you, Dad."

"I love you, too, Bells," he mumbled. Before he hung up, he added, "I hope Edward is taking good care of you."

I smiled, even though he couldn't see. There was no malice in his voice as he mentioned Edward's name, a very rare occurrence. Just pure and unbridled concern for once. And for that exact moment, no awkwardness.

"Don't worry," I assured him in my own broken voice. "He is."

Just today he'd called again, just wanting to check up on me and see if I was doing any better. Obviously I wasn't, and my voice was even weaker as I spoke to him. I honestly thought he was about to start crying; he sounded so pained and desperate, and utterly helpless that there was nothing he could do to help me. I felt like a monster for inflicting so much agony on those I loved, and for making them blame themselves for something that had been entirely an accident, and one that was completely my fault.

"Don't blame yourself for this, Bella," Carlisle had said as I'd handed him the phone.

"Why not?" I answered glumly. "It is my fault, and you know it."

"No it isn't," he sighed, getting down on his knees to meet my gaze. I was curled up on the couch in the living room as I had been all week, except for the nights when Edward carried me up to his room. I hated the prospect of being so weak that I was forced to stay in bed, so every morning I made him carry me back downstairs so I could still feel like part of the family. It was so lonely in the bedroom, even with him right there, because I knew that everyone was in the house but not within my reach. I hated the frenzied attention they all gave me, but I loved being around them, and especially talking to Alice and Esme in the afternoons when they returned from their daily trip into town. As long as they didn't try to assist me, I was fine.

Because of all of my pathetic frailties, and the fact that the Cullen home had never housed a human for any measure of time, the house was in desperate need of necessities to accommodate me. Well…at least that's what Edward said. I knew I'd be perfectly fine without the majority of the things they bought for me; in fact I much preferred the lack of certain luxuries, such as triple-soft toilet paper for the bathroom, new Egyptian cotton sheets and silk and wool comforters for the beds and my seemingly permanent loveseat perch, and extra purified water always stocked in the refrigerator. I felt increasingly guilty, and selfishly spoiled. My misery continued to grow as I vehemently tried to refuse the things Esme and Alice brought back each day, and I always lost the fight. Eventually I just gave up and sulked in silence as they bestowed the softest blankets and the most comfortable and yet stylish maternity clothing the world had ever seen upon my fragile being.

I crossed my arms over my chest, bringing my feet up onto the couch and rocking back and forth slightly. I was wearing the oversized ash grey sweatshirt today, but without a tank top underneath. Just one of the new bras my vampire mother and sister had chosen, and then my tattered sweats covering my lower, thinner half. I refused to wear the any of the other new clothes. They just made me feel more like an idiot, and overwhelmingly guilty.

"Bella," Carlisle sighed, taking my hand in his and rubbing it soothingly, "you can't blame yourself for this. There's no one to hold guilty; no one did anything wrong. Sometimes things just happen, and there's no explanation or reason behind them, but you just have to accept that. I need you to do that."

I shook my head, groaning slightly. I'd somehow managed to digress back into the stage of morning sickness in the past twenty four hours and was now affected by even the slightest movement. Even the briefest and most insignificant breath of wind or air could make me sick. I made a face and kept my mouth clamped shut.

"Bella, do you need anything?" Rosalie demanded from behind me. Her stance for the past five or so hours had been floating behind the couch; standing on eggshells and glass in her anticipation to assist me in any way.

"No Rose, I'm fine," I assured her as best as I could. Not at all impressive or believable, but she had learned to admit my word as the truth, because in all honesty, it just pissed me off to be helped when I really really didn't want to be. Right now was one of those moments.

She growled slightly in annoyance, but nodded resentfully and sank back into her edgy crouch. I sighed and turned back to Carlisle, who still had my hand between his icy fingers and a deep crease between his eyebrows. He'd forced Edward to leave while I talked to Charlie, and he knew I wasn't that happy about it.

"Your skin is so cold," he commented silently. "Do you need more blankets?"

I shook my head again, slower this time. "No thank you. I'm actually quite warm."

In fact, I was dreadfully overheated. I could feel the sweat on my forehead and under the thick quilt and sweatshirt, but I understood his concern. My skin was unusually icy, despite the heat. His temperature hadn't shocked me as much as it normally would have when he touched me; he was still much colder, but overall, so was I.

He frowned. "Do you want me to go get Edward?" His tone gave away that he already knew the answer.

I nodded anyway. "Yes, please."

He sighed again and rose to his feet, dropping my hand and carefully readjusting the blanket around me. I felt like such a little child being helped by her parent when she was sick.

Edward rushed to my side the moment he stepped through the front door, dropping to his knees like Carlisle had and burying his face into my lap. Rosalie hissed her displeasure; she didn't like anyone coming near me. Not even Edward.

"Rose," I sighed, raising my head back so I could look at her. Her expression softened under my inspection, and she nodded, going silent. I smiled in gratitude and returned my attention to Edward. He had wrapped his arms around my legs and was pressed tightly against me, moaning dismally as I gently stroked his hair. He lifted his head enough for me to meet his eyes, and I smiled again as I began to stroke his cheek, reveling in the soft coolness of his skin. Even under these most extreme conditions, my mind and heart never failed to remind me of how much I loved him, and to never take for granted his physical and mental perfection. Because he truly was perfection in its highest form.

"Bella," he moaned softly, nuzzling the side of his face into my thigh and releasing a deep breath. "I'm sorry he made me leave."

"It's not your fault," I told him gently, glancing up to see Carlisle leaning against the door frame. The front door remained open, allowing the chilling September air to sweep into the room and swirl around us. As if sensing my concern, he made to close it, but stopped as Alice and Jasper suddenly flitted inside, eyes freshly gold and burning from their recent hunt.

Carlisle closed the door behind them, and watched with a cautious expression as Alice quickly made her way toward me, plopping down on the cushion beside me. I gave her a weak smile, and she smiled back sadly. I could see the obvious pain and pity in her large doll-like eyes, and tried to dispel the usual rush of guilt that flooded me at that look.

"Hey Bella," she murmured, leaning sideways so her head was resting on my shoulder. I used my free hand to begin softly massaging her hair, and let the other one go limp on Edward's neck. He grabbed it quickly in his own, kissing it gently and lacing his fingers through mine. I gave another feeble smile as he pressed a loving kiss on my wrist before returning his head to my lap. Rosalie tsked in disapproval as Jasper walked closer to me, taking a seat on the couch beside Alice. He stretched out his arm to put it on her leg as she began whimpering softly; the same edge of dismal hopelessness to her tone as Edward's. I sighed and pressed my fingers deeper into her scalp, carefully molding her surprisingly soft spikes of hair.

We all stayed like that for about twenty minutes, and by the time Emmett and Esme returned from their shopping trip – Emm having gone today so Alice could hunt – Edward and Alice had switched positions. He sat next to me on the couch, keeping his arm wrapped tightly around me, while Alice rested her head in my lap; her tiny body curled up and stretched across Jasper's legs.

"Where's the party?" Emmett asked with a slight grin as he glanced around the room. I realized that the entire family was finally home, and gathered around me.

Rosalie hissed at him, her eyes blazing as she glared him down.

"Rose, it's okay," I murmured. "Let him joke if he wants to."

"Yeah babe, relax," he said as he disappeared into the kitchen to drop off his bags. I saw her roll her eyes and mumble something incoherent as he returned.

Esme deposited her bags in the kitchen as well, and then floated back to the living room and quickly to my side. I sighed as she took my hand and began feeling my pulse, asking me various questions regarding how I was feeling.

"Calm down," I assured her, gently pulling my hand away. "I'm exactly the same as I was an hour ago before you left."

"But your voice sounds worse," she mused, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Esme," Alice chirped solemnly, "Leave the doctoring to Carlisle."

"I'm fine," I added. "Really."

Everyone stared at me. I knew that was an incredibly stupid thing for me to say, being the most blatant and obvious lie, but I didn't know what else to do. I wasn't used to having people worry about me; it was always my job to look after them. I felt the need to reassure them still, and possibly lessen the overwhelming awareness in their eyes as they regarded me. I didn't like the attention, and receiving any consideration at all was still a relatively new thing for me. Even the stifling attention Edward always gave me sometimes took me by surprise. I didn't mind his constant eye, but I hated being in the spotlight for anyone else, including the rest of my family.

"Bella, you don't have to pretend for us," Edward murmured dismally, lowering his head onto my shoulder with a heavy sigh. "I don't _want_ you to."

I ignored his comment, leaning down to kiss his rain-dampened hair instead. When I looked back up, everyone was still staring at me, the same expression still etched in their eyes.

I knew I had gotten worse. Esme was right; it seemed now that every minute I continued dwindling downward into the depths of oblivion. I was almost permanently numb now, a good thing because it lessened the pain, but a frightening prospect as well. I hadn't been given a dosage of morphine for two days now, but it seemed the effects of the last treatment had never left me, though I knew they had long faded. I'd stopped trying to control my body and all its reactions days ago; if I felt that I might throw up, I didn't try to stop it…if I drifted towards unconsciousness just moments after awakening from a long rest, I let the blackness come. I couldn't command any part of me, and I was just drowning in my skin with no one to pull me to the surface. I was worse. And today was exceptionally bad.

I wondered how they'd been able to tell. I hadn't said anything, and I'd strived to be as alert as possible, but I was sure the glaze over my eyes and the shallowness of my breathing gave me away. I'd taken to avoiding mirrors lately, but the other day I'd caught a glimpse of myself as Edward and Rose had helped me out of the bathtub and back to the bedroom. My normally bright eyes were dull; the once depthless brown stopped short. I could still see my reflection staring back at me in the oddly conventional mirrors that they were, but it was flat and small.

My body was so frail from the lack of food and increasingly abundant loss of blood, and I shuddered slightly as Edward's hand involuntarily tightened around my waist. Even the tiniest pressure in certain spots was enough to make me feel like I might shatter into a million pieces. I winced, and he quickly drew back his hand, apologizing profusely. Rose growled at him, and I sighed, slumping back against the couch and closing my eyes.

I just wanted to scream. I wanted to jump up and throw a fit and scream the hell out of my lungs. I wanted my family to stop treating me so differently now, and I wanted them to look at me the same way they looked at each other. I wanted to be a vampire so bad at that moment that that particular pain overcame the rest of my bodily aches.

"Bella? Bella, what is it?" Edward asked frantically.

"What's what?" I answered, opening my eyes just enough to gaze up at him.

"You look like you're in pain. More so than usual."

I guess I really can't hide anything, I thought glumly. I sighed and nodded in defeat.

"What can I do?" he begged, grasping my hands in his.

"Nothing," I mumbled, my voice rough. I'd been coughing earlier in the morning, which definitely helped to exaggerate my already absurdly deteriorating voice. It was a wonder I could still speak at all by this point.

"There has to be something," he pleaded. "Anything, just name it."

I shook my head at him, groaning at the way it stirred the building nausea in my stomach. "No Edward. Stop."

I couldn't bear to look at him. His eyes were so far gone; burning almost. But it wasn't like a fire smoldering within them – it was like he was the one burning. Writhing and dying right before me, and there was nothing I could do to extinguish the fire. I was the one fueling it.

Alice gasped suddenly, freezing into stone as a vision washed over her. When her face cleared a minute later and she raised her head up, panic was written in her expression.

"What did you see?" Jasper demanded, pulling her upright and raising her chin with his finger. "Alice, what's happened?"

She blinked and turned away from him, her eyes locking on the front door. Edward tensed around me, a fierce snarl ripping from his throat as her mouth fell slightly open. I watched in confusion as he recoiled away from whatever it was that brought the reaction and slowly returned to his panicked, burning state, burying his head into my shoulder and releasing a heartbreaking moan.

"Edward?" I whispered, not trusting my voice to carry my words. It was cracked and broken, and rougher than it had been just a minute ago. Definitely failing.

"We have company," Alice spoke in a rushed monotone before he could open his mouth.

"Who?"

"Jacob," Edward growled through clenched teeth.

That single word, just his name, was enough to shake me down to my core. I gave a little scream and gasped as the distinct roaring of a motorcycle ripped through the air outside; a very familiar bike, under the hands of a very familiar rider. I closed my eyes and tried to will it all away.

"No," I moaned, shaking my head and ignoring the way it made the nausea rise. "No, I don't want to see him. Edward, make him go away! Please make him leave!"

"He won't go," he sighed, his fists automatically clenching. I could feel them at my sides; muscles strained and the pallid skin pulled tight over his knuckles.

"I can't see him," I said desperately, hot angry tears beginning to spill from my eyes. My voice cracked on the last word, leaving me coughing and stuttering.

"Shh, Bella, Bella calm down," Edward pleaded, quickly wiping my tears away and forcing me to meet his gaze. "Please, don't cry."

"I can't see him like this," I whispered, panic still laced in my silent tone. "I can't. I just _can't_."

"Edward's right," Alice mused quietly, never taking her eyes off the front door. "He has no intention of leaving until he sees that you're alive and well."

"Well I'm not!" I spat. "And one of you needs to tell him the get the hell away from here. You don't know what it would do to him to see me like this. It would _kill _him."

"Oh, we're very aware of that," Jasper murmured fluidly, sending a wave of calm over me. I relaxed instantly, unable to find continual fuel for my irrational breakdown. Once I was able to breathe, my mind cleared enough for me to think straight. Mostly.

I knew they were right. Again. Keeping things from Jacob wouldn't do anything but hurt him that much more when he finally did find out. And despite wanting to protect him, I realized my initial reaction had been embarrassment and chagrin at the prospect of him _seeing me_ in such a state. I had no reason to feel ashamed; I was carrying the child of my husband, whom I loved more than anything and anyone else in the world combined. So why did it bother me so much to have my best friend learn of this?

Well, that was an easy question to answer. Because he was Jacob. Simple as that.

He was different than anyone I had ever met or known of. He was my free-spirited, hilarious, and heartwarming werewolf. He was my best friend. And I loved him. And, despite trying my hardest to stop and prevent it, part of me still belonged to him. And him only. And that part of me felt tarnished and black as I predicted his reaction to what would surely be one the most unexpected twists in his already complicated life. I felt that I had betrayed him, and that by making the decision to keep my nudger and then force Edward to sink his teeth into my throat, I was cutting him out of my own life. Forever.

The thought brought fresh tears to my eyes. We'd tried so many times to say goodbye, but one of us always broke and came back. Last time it had been him, and now it was him again. I'd been trying so hard to avoid him in every possible way, and he kept coming back, and I just kept welcoming him with open arms. Why? Because I just couldn't erase the past. He'd been there for me in a time when no one had; he'd saved me far more than he would ever know. I owed him my life a million times over, but I just couldn't give him what he wanted most. So I just tried to shut him out, but I was selfish, and I craved his warmth. And moreover, we both knew the fine line between us that would never ever be shattered, no matter how far one of us ran away, or how desperately the other fought to make them disappear. We loved each other, and our souls were connected in a way that no one else's were. Edward's and mine were deeply entwined, twisted together by our mutual and undying true love. But Jacob's and mine were tangled in an impossible knot, and they were the only thing keeping the other's soul intact. When we were pulled apart, all of our old wounds and scars were raised back to the surface and left to bleed. I needed him in my life, whether or not it was the right thing. And because of that fact, I knew I had my answer.

I would face the problem head-on and spare him no pity or remorse, and I would keep my regret and chagrin from showing through. He had to know. I'd much rather tell him once I was a vampire and could hold my son safely in my arms, but I knew the chances of that were incredibly slim. The chances of ever seeing him again once I was bitten were basically nonexistent, to be sure. Either I wouldn't be able to control my thirst and it would be too dangerous for him to come near, or he would be too disgusted by my new self, and spit in my face the phrase I'd heard him repeat for months. _You're not Bella. Not my Bella. My Bella is dead; gone. I don't know what you are anymore. _

But I would still fight to save our friendship. Because as I'd just realized; we couldn't be apart.

The noise outside was suddenly silenced. He'd killed the engine, and I could hear him kick the stand into place as he began making his way to the door. Of course I couldn't hear his footsteps, but I could imagine him in my mind, looking the same as he always did. I sighed.

Carlisle opened the door before he could even knock, and from straining my eyes I could see him in the doorway, towering over my new father. My heart gave a little thump.

"Hello, Jacob," I could hear Carlisle say. His voice was very quiet, but I'd heard its calm even tone so many times now that I could distinguish it almost anywhere. "How are you?"

There was a long pause, and I could have sworn I heard Jacob inhale deeply, no doubt dying from the overwhelming scent of my family that perfumed every surface. A scent that I loved and held with deep reverence; incredibly sweet and mouthwatering to any human like me. But impossibly revolting to any and all werewolves, such as himself. I sighed again.

Finally I recognized Jacob's voice, harsh and bitter as he spoke. But did I detect a hint of reluctance…and awkwardness? "I heard Bella made it back alive."

My heart thumped again, filling me with guilt and shame. Pity shook my resolve, but I fought it back and tried to keep my expression level; steady. But I knew that even when I was playing my best actor's role, my eyes always gave me away, no matter their state. Edward had told me that though he couldn't read my mind, he always knew my reactions from my big brown mirrors, he'd called them. Windows straight to my heart and soul.

"Er, Jacob, it's not really the best time," Carlisle murmured, and I could see his expression clearly in my mind. "Could we do this later?"

I stared at the back of his head in disbelief, practically gaping. What the hell was he doing? Don't send him away!

I realized then that I'd never voiced my solid decision; it had been entirely internal, and despite everyone else having seen the raging conflict and epiphany in my eyes, Carlisle hadn't looked my way in a while and probably didn't notice.

I was about to open my mouth when Esme suddenly murmured, "You don't have to let him in, Bella. This is your choice. One of us could always tell him later."

I sighed. "Why not? Are we keeping secrets from Jacob, too? What's the point?"

"Bella," Alice started.

I shook my head determinedly and tried to focus on the towering, shadowy figure that was my best friend. "Come in, please, Jacob."

I was fully aware of how horrible I must sound to him, but I couldn't fret about that now. There were much larger and far more important matters at hand. He was about to learn something that would either break him or throw him over the edge, because I knew he'd never accept it just as he should. Jake rarely took things calmly.

I heard him mumble something to Carlisle as he passed through, and then I could see him perfectly. And I was right; he looked exactly as he had the last time I'd seen him. His hair was perhaps a bit longer, but not by much. The jagged cut was still blatantly visible, and I rolled my eyes internally at the reason behind it. _Cut it with rusty kitchen shears. Real smart._

I felt Edward's hands tighten near me, flexing and shaking at his sides. I looked over to gauge his reaction to Jake's appearance, or as he would call it, intrusion, and was surprised to see that no anger had mounted itself in his expression. But I almost would have rather seen fury than that fiery agony and torture blazing in his eyes.

I glanced back at the visitor and he was gazing at Edward, too. And he seemed visibly disturbed by the anguish on my husband's face, as well – a reaction I would never expect from him. I continued watching, and after an impossibly long minute, his eyes finally flickered to mine.

I knew how I must have looked, half-hidden behind the arm of the couch and curled up with a blanket wrapped around me. Just like the sick little girl that I was. And I could see it in Jake's eyes as he regarded me. He could tell right away that something was very wrong.

Rosalie must have sensed my growing discomfort, and the way the heat and stress was making my stomach churn, because in the next second she was bent over me, glaring daggers at Jacob with a sharpness that clearly told him to back off. I didn't want that; I knew she was just trying to protect me, but I didn't want her chasing him away. Not that he would run. I knew him better than that; he'd stand his ground and laugh in her face, and if he wasn't careful, he'd learn a very dangerous lesson. It is never a wise decision to piss Rose off. But Jake was strong; I knew he could hold his own. And I trusted him to put up a fair fight. But I didn't want anyone fighting; I wanted peace between my families. Because, in a way, the wolves truly had become a huge part of my life, and thus deserved the title of my family.

I shot a quick, apologetic glance at Rose as the nausea finally overcame me, and she snatched my basin from the ground and held it up just in time for me to throw up in it. I was so tired of being so sick, but I'd given up fighting control of my stomach when I'd finally realized that there really wasn't anything I could do. I sighed and let the senseless guilt wash over me nonetheless.

I always felt so ashamed and so horrible to be so broken and helpless in anyone's presence. It was already difficult with the Cullens, unbearable with Edward, and now just ridiculous with Jake here, too. It was almost like Fate was trying to play the cruelest joke on me, targeting me as a victim and enjoying watching my struggle.

I looked up at my friend cautiously, and I didn't miss the utter disbelief and confusion in his gaze as I silently mumbled, "Sorry about that."

Edward collapsed against me, letting his head fall against my knees as he released that heartbreaking moan of his, quietly this time. Adding to my endless guilt. I reached down and stroked his cheek gently, wishing I could just will all his pain away. It wasn't fair for him to suffer along with me; he was putting far too much blame on himself, and dragging himself down just to prove how much higher above him I was. We were both hurting each other, but there was no way to avert it. So we held tight and burned together.

I hadn't even realized that Jacob had begun making his way toward me, but Rose quickly sprang into action and hissed at him poisonously; standing between his towering form and my own.

"Rose, don't," I whispered, my voice especially weak after just retching. "It's fine."

Her back tensed and I could imagine the outrage on her face, but she followed my request and crouched back at my side, shooting dark glares and scowls at Jacob the entire time. I tried to ignore her, at least for the moment. I didn't like her being so malicious to him. He'd done nothing to deserve her bitterness, but then again, she was being this spiteful to everyone. Even Edward; she'd held out her hand to stop him from falling against me just a minute ago, but we both knew to completely ignore her when she tried to stop him. No one could stop Edward from coming to me if he wanted. I'd happily set a ravenous mountain lion on anyone who tried, vampire or not.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Jake whispered in a pleading tone. Oh no, not him too! But I should have expected it. All anyone ever gave me was pity, nothing actually constructive or useful. They just encouraged my wallowing and deepened their own.

I let out a sad sigh as he sank to his knees, scooting next to me on the floor opposite where Edward was still crushed against my legs. Jake reached out and took my hand, holding it in both of his. I almost snatched it away from shock. His skin was so hot, hotter than I'd ever felt it. Or perhaps mine was just that cold…

"Are you all right?" he questioned in that same desperate voice.

I internally scoffed, and had to stop myself from letting my mouth drop open and shout, '_Are you freaking kidding me!!!_' at the top of my lungs. Honestly, even for Jake, it was an incredibly stupid question.

So instead, I switched topics and mumbled, "I'm so glad you came to see me today, Jacob."

Edward moaned again, burying his face completely into the blanket covering me, and my heart gave a powerful twinge. It hurt me so much to see him in pain; I fought the impulse to just burst into tears and let the world see me even weaker that I already was. I didn't know what else to do, so I just tried to content myself by stroking his cheek lovingly and trying to convey that I needed him to be strong for me, because we really did control each other's emotions. When he was sad, I was sad. When he was happy, I was happy. When he was in pain…so was I.

"What is it, Bella?" Jacob asked quietly, drawing my attention back to him. He tightened his hold on my hand, entwining his thick, warm fingers with my own. The contrast in our skin tones and the temperature of our palms was extreme, but our blood flowing through those veins was the same, and the steady pulses of our hearts matched.

I looked away from our hands, glancing around the room in a slight panic. I knew there was only one way to answer his question, and I was terrified of showing him. But I knew I couldn't speak the words, and everyone's eyes locked with mine as my silent determination traveled to them. Everyone except Edward; he kept his head down, buried into me like he would die if he ever lost my touch. But I could see the minute shifting and tightening of his shoulders and back, and I knew that he realized what I was about to do.

I glanced up at Rosalie pleadingly. "Help me up, Rose?"

She growled, releasing those dagger eyes of hers once again as she glared Jacob down with malevolence. Her teeth pulled back over her lips into a deadly grimace.

I reached up and lightly touched the back of her hand, desperate again. "Please, Rose."

She scowled and shot me a look that clearly displayed her complete disapproval of my decision, but I ignored her bitterness. She carefully leaned over me, placing her hands behind my shoulders and giving Edward a black glare as he refused to move.

"No," Jacob suddenly whispered. "Don't get up…" He stretched out his hand in front of me, signaling for me to remain sitting.

"I'm answering your question," I snapped, abruptly exasperated.

He didn't say anything as Rose gently helped me to my feet. Edward slumped forward and allowed himself to fall into the cushion where I had just been a second ago. Another powerful twinge struck me. I felt the blanket wrapped so protectively around me slip from my form and crumple into a heap on the ground beside me. I let my eyes dart to it, refusing to watch Jake's reaction as my face began to grow warm.

He didn't say anything, and after a minute the suspense and tension won me over. I allowed myself to peek up at him, and he was staring at me strangely. It took me a second to understand his reaction, and then I realized it was confusion. Pure and earnest bewilderment.

Deciding to give him a clue, I cautiously raised my hands from my sides to wrap around my stomach in a loving gesture. My nudger gave an unexpected thump that sent warm vibrations through me. He was becoming so strong, so healthy. A sense of pride flooded me, but I didn't quite have the strength to let it shine through my eyes.

It took a few more seconds, but then he finally got it. The shift in his expression gave him right away. His eyes widened almost comically, and his mouth dropped so low that I wouldn't have been surprised if it hit the floor.

I watched at his body heaved, and the thick bands of muscle covering his arms and chest trembled and shook dangerously. For a minute I was afraid he would morph right there, unable to stop the sudden rush of anger that I knew had hit him. His face was livid as he examined mine closely, and I could only imagine what he was thinking.

So it didn't surprise me much when Edward's head suddenly snapped up and he sprang to his feet, towering over Jacob threateningly. Even being several inches shorter than him, Edward somehow managed to seem so much taller in that instant. His eyes were a flat and deadly black as he openly seethed with the same unbridled malice that Jacob returned to him unabashedly. He hadn't hunted once since the day he'd fled the house to find solace in the meadow, and the effects of starvation and thirst had worked their way into his face and composure. There were deep purple circles under his pitch eyes, and I knew from past experience how his hunger had to be driving him completely insane. But he refused to leave my side, and so he let himself starve just to watch over me. Killing himself to save my life.

"Outside, Jacob," he snarled, the harshness of his tone making me flinch involuntarily. He was always so gentle with me, and even when furious he never lost control and let his true darkness and hostility surface. The voice with which he spoke now let it all through, and he made no effort to repress his obvious desire to spring and attack the other most important man in my life.

Jake had risen to his feet as well, and glared down at Edward with a wrathful passion. "Let's do this."

Emmett suddenly rose from his perch in the back, by Esme and Alice. Alice had risen silently a few minutes ago to retreat from the charged atmosphere of the couch and collapse into a chair by Esme's side. I watched as Emm pushed forward and came to stand at Edward's side, followed quickly by Jasper, who had left his post as well. Jacob eyed them cautiously, assessing them, before returning his gaze to Edward. I knew he didn't care if they came or not, but I could tell from the brief but meaningful looks Edward shot at them that _he_ didn't want them coming.

As they began to move for the door, I stumbled forward and reached for Edward.

"No," I gasped as I felt his arm under my hands. I wrapped them around his limb tightly, unwilling to let him go. I was afraid of what might happen if the two of them were left alone for any measure of time. One of them might not come back. The possibility struck me like a wrecking ball and knocked me momentarily breathless.

"I just need to talk to him, Bella," he murmured back in a low voice, the fire instantly dissolved. Just as I'd noticed; always controlling his temper around me.

I shook my head, holding fast to his arm. He sighed and reached up to touch my face, gently stroking it with a smooth, cold hand. His eyes were gentle but worried as he stared back at me with a slight frown.

"Don't strain yourself," he pleaded quietly. "Please rest. We'll both be back in just a few minutes." I could almost hear him add a silent, _I promise._

I gazed at him for a long time, and could see that he was telling the truth. I nodded resentfully and let go of him, moving back toward the couch wordlessly. Rose helped me settle back onto the cushions, and picked up my discarded blanket and wrapped it back around me.

I stared at Jake intently, willing him to return my gaze. After a minute, he finally relented, and I saw that he was doing the exact same thing that Edward had. Shielding his murderous rage from me and trying to look calm and entirely focused on me. But he wasn't as practiced as my husband was, and I could still see the sharp edge that flashed in his dark eyes.

"Behave," I told him as curtly as I could manage, narrowing my eyes slightly. "And then come back."

He stared at me for another long moment, but never answered. He didn't even nod or shake his head, or make any gesture to show he'd acknowledged my request. No, my _demand._

I watched him turn around and follow Edward as he left the house and descended down the front steps. I strained my eyes until I couldn't see them anymore. The last thing I saw before their forms disappeared into the shroud of forest and trees was Edward's rigid posture suddenly fade, and Jacob's hands clench into tight fists at his sides.

Edward had promised that there would be no battle. But Jake hadn't. And I knew he would do everything in his power to make Edward break that promise and fight for the right to return home. To return to me.

* * *

(A/N:) Annnnnddddd....wow. This took me long enough. I'm so sorry! I've just been really lazy lately, and more inclined to read than right. I've recently grown addicted to Wide Awake and have been reading that for the past three weeks. If you haven't read it: READ IT. It's honestly like the best thing I've ever read since I got hooked on Twilight a year ago. Because, yes, I am happy that my ridiculous obsession has finally surpassed a year!!! The last week of March/first week of April (can't quite remember which...) was when I first picked up the books, and I've been die-hard to the extreme ever since. Edward and Bella control me. End of story. Those two are my life =]

Yayayayayay!!!!! Now this story finally gets interesting...and to the real point. It has officially picked up where the book left off. Sooo...what do you guys think??? Please comment; comments will make me feel better!!! (Because yes, I am sick...blech. Don't you want to help me??? XD)

--Steph (Who is super hyper right now because she just found out that her kitty, Bella, is pregnant!!! A bit ironic, considering this story I'm writing...hehehe)


	6. Convictions

13. CONVICTIONS

"What do you think they're saying?" I questioned silently as the minutes passed and there was still no sign of Edward or Jacob.

"I'm sure they're just sorting a few things out," Esme said gently from her seat behind me. "I wouldn't worry too much, sweetheart. Even in a state of panic, Edward always knows right from wrong. If you're concerned about them fighting…"

"They're not fighting," Alice interjected, gazing at me confidently. "Trust me, I would know."

"Then what's taking them so long?" I demanded, wanting nothing more than to see them both appear in the doorway at that moment, expressions calm and bodies unscathed.

"They're coming back now," Carlisle murmured suddenly, catching my attention. He wasn't looking at me; he was gazing out the front door. "Look."

My eyes darted to the front, straining to see out the open door and down to the forest. I sighed in relief as my two men came into view, walking swiftly and wordlessly toward the house. Edward came straight in, but Jake hovered by the door, unwilling to step back inside. I watched Edward anxiously as he came to stand by me and glanced around at his family. His posture was rigid again; shoulders stiff and pulled firmly back.

I looked at Jake for a second, and then darted my eyes back to Edward. The expression on both of their faces wasn't encouraging. I could feel some of the heat vanish from my face, mostly likely turning it a colorless pale.

"We're going to let Jacob and Bella speak privately," Edward said, not looking at anyone directly. His voice was strangely flat, emotionless. Frightening.

"Over my pile of ashes," Rosalie hissed at him, her muscles tightening in her anger. She was hovering just above my head, one of her icy hands lying on my cheek.

Edward ignored her. So did I.

"Bella," he said the same detached tone, his eyes now focusing on me. "Jacob wants to talk to you. Are you afraid to be alone with him?"

My eyebrows knit together in confusion, and I quickly glanced over at Jake, frowning slightly. After a moment I turned my attention to Rose, who was still snarling dangerously. I wasn't sure if she was more furious with Jake or Edward. Probably both, I decided.

"Rose, it's fine," I told her. "Jake's not going to hurt us. Go with Edward."

"It might be a trick," she warned me, momentarily looking away to glare at the wolf.

"I don't see how," I sighed. Jake wouldn't try to trick me. He'd never do anything to hurt me, I knew that. Well…almost. But I trusted him. And things were different now; I really did _need _to talk to him.

"Carlisle and I will always be in your sight, Rosalie," Edward assured her. His voice had gained a hint of anger as he answered, and I knew he was beginning to lose the careful control over his emotions. "We're the one's she's afraid of."

His last sentence struck me hard in the chest. "No," I whispered, unable to stop the tears that began to fill my eyes at his firm belief. "No, Edward. I'm not…"

He shook his head, smiling slightly. But the smile wasn't right; it looked forced. "I didn't mean it that way, Bella. I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

I continued to stare at him, openly wounded. His expression took on a tone or regret as he saw how hard his unintentional blow had hit me. He was definitely slipping; the torture was beginning to show through his eyes.

"Everyone," he said, swiftly looking away from me and motioning toward the door. "Please."

My family all rose to their feet and exited wordlessly, glancing back and forth between Edward and myself with concern before ducking through the door and disappearing. Jake stood out of their way and avoided contact with them as he waited with uncharacteristic patience.

Rosalie and Edward were the only two that remained where they stood, staring at each other with opposing expressions. Rose looked furious; Edward looked broken.

"Rose," I murmured quietly, making her turn and look down at me. "I want you to go."

She sighed and turned back to Edward, glaring at him and motioning for him to leave first. Without another glance at me, he disappeared outside. She gave me a deadly warning glower, and then exited herself.

As soon as we were alone, Jake entered the room and strode toward me. He sat down on the floor by my feet and took my hands in his, rubbing them with exaggerated cautiousness.

I gave a small smile, trying to ease his tension. "Thanks, Jake. That feels good."

He disregarded my comment and continued to rub slowly as if I hadn't spoken. Cutting straight to the point, he frowned before stating, "I'm not going to lie, Bells. You're hideous."

I sighed. "I know. I'm scary-looking."

"Thing-from-the-swamp scary," he agreed.

I had to laugh. I didn't know why, but hearing his voice and feeling his hands on mine made me feel somehow lighter; more alert and normal. I couldn't comprehend the emotion, but I was just so happy to have him here, and that was all that mattered.

"It's so good having you here," I told him with a smile. "It feels nice to smile. I don't know how much more drama I can stand."

He rolled his eyes, smirking slightly.

"Okay, okay," I admitted, rolling my eyes myself. "I bring it on myself."

"Yeah, you do," he agreed. "What're you thinking, Bells? Seriously!"

"Did he ask you to yell at me?" I questioned, not quite in the mood for being shot down, as I had so many times in the past week.

He pursed his lips. "Sort of. Though I can't figure out why he thinks you'd listen to me. You never have before."

I sighed. Of course he would say something like that; bring up old scars just for the hell of it. Classic Jake.

"I told you-," he started to say, but I abruptly cut him off.

"Did you know that _'I told you so'_ has a brother, Jacob?" I asked with mock curtness. "His name is _'Shut the hell up'_."

He rolled his eyes again. "Good one."

I grinned widely, laughing once. "I can't take credit – I got if off a rerun of _The Simpsons_."

"Missed that one."

"It was funny."

We sat silently for a minute; neither of us knowing what to say. I knew I couldn't hedge anymore, and so I took a deep breath and sighed.

"Did he really ask you to talk to me?"

He nodded. "To talk some sense into you. _There's_ a battle that's lost before it starts."

I grimaced slightly. He was right. "So why did you agree?'

He didn't answer, and the tense electric charge only intensified. I watched his expression closely, and it was obvious that he was struggling. I wanted to ask what he was thinking, but decided better of it.

"It'll work out, you know," I said quiet after another silent minute. "I believe that."

Anger flashed in his eyes. "Is dementia one of your symptoms?" he snapped bitterly.

I knew he was serious, but his question was so comical that I had to laugh. His hands had begun shaking around mine – a warning sign, but I disregarded it.

"Maybe," I answered, amused at the prospect. It wasn't that hard to believe; to most people I probably had lost my mind. Literally. "I'm not saying things will work out easily, Jake. But how could I have lived through all that I've lived through and not believe in magic by this point?"

_"Magic?"_ he scoffed harshly, obviously not as amused as I was.

"Especially for you," I continued, smiling. I pulled one of my hands from his gentle grasp and pressed it against his cheek, enjoying the feel of his burning skin. My hands must have felt so cold to him. "More than anything else, you've got some magic waiting to make things right for you."

He narrowed his eyes. "What are you babbling about?"

"Edward told me what it was like – your imprinting thing," I answered, still smiling brightly. "He said it was like _A Midsummer Night's Dream_, like magic. You'll find who you're really looking for, Jacob, and maybe then all of this will make sense."

He stared at me in disbelief, which quickly turned into more of his sharp anger. His body continued to shake, and he released a low and menacing growl, eyes narrowed threateningly.

"If you think that imprinting could ever make sense of this_ insanity_…" He trailed off, obviously struggling for the right words, and fighting to control his fury. "Do you really think that just because I might someday imprint on some stranger it would make this right?"

He pointed to my stomach, swollen and distorted and, beneath the sweatshirt, black with bruises. I frowned, flinching slightly as he continued.

"Tell me what the point was then, Bella! What was the point of me loving you? What was the point of _you_ loving _him_?"

I wanted to yell back, to defend myself, but he pressed on without giving me the chance. And, in all honesty, I had no idea what I was going to say anyway. I couldn't think of a righteous justification to contradict his indictments, besides the obvious fact that that was just the way things were meant to be. And if I told him that, it would only make him that much angrier.

"When you die," he snarled, making me flinch again, "how is that ever right again? What's the point to all the pain? Mine, yours, his! You'll kill him, too, not that I care about that. So what was the point of your twisted love story, in the end? If there is _any_ sense, please show me, Bella, because I don't see it."

By the time he was finished his chest was heaving, and his eyes were black in their absolute hatred and wrath. He seethed at me without trying to restrain it, and it took me a minute before I could control myself enough to answer. I wasn't afraid of him, but his words had rattled something inside of me. But I wasn't going to believe him; I couldn't. He had it all wrong.

"I don't know yet, Jake," I sighed. "But I just…feel…that this is all going somewhere good, hard to see as it is now. I guess you could call it _faith_."

He didn't buy it. I knew he wouldn't, but there was nothing else I could say. "You're dying for _nothing_, Bella!" he spat at me. "Nothing!"

I refused to accept that. If I did die – and I knew I wouldn't, so I didn't even see the point in this whole argument – it wasn't for nothing. It was for someone whose life was so much more precious and valuable than my own. I dropped my hand from his cheek and lowered it to my stomach, feeling the light kicks of my baby from inside and knowing in that instant that there was no possible way for anyone to convince me I was wrong. I knew I was right, and I knew I would do whatever it took to keep my child safe.

"I'm not going to die," I said through gritted teeth, staring down at him. I'd repeated that phrase so many times now; it was hard to not accept it one-hundred percent. It was qualifiedly a fact to me. "I _will_ keep my heart beating. I'm strong enough for that."

"That's a load of crap, Bella," he murmured, sadly now. His mood seemed to have changed as he listened to my attempt of self-conviction, as he probably saw it. I was trying to convince him more than myself, but he was just as stubborn as I was.

"You've been trying to keep up with the supernatural for too long," he continued, gently taking my face in his hands and cradling it like it was as breakable as glass. Which, to everyone I held company with, it was. "No normal person can do it. You're _not_ strong enough."

"I can do this," I muttered, trying to ignore his negativity. "I can do this."

"Doesn't look like to me," he whispered. "So what's your plan? I hope you have one."

I nodded, still looking down at the ground beside him. I didn't want to meet his eyes; I didn't want him to see the seeds of guilt and uncertainty he was beginning to plant into my mind, because if he discovered that his persistence might work, he would thrive off of it and refuse to stop until he'd turned me completely against what I was fighting for the most.

Slowly, I answered, "Did you know that Esme jumped off a cliff? When she was human, I mean."

I glanced up for a second to see him raise his eyebrows. "So?"

I sighed. I wouldn't have to explain this to a vampire, or maybe just someone that bothered to look a little deeper under the surface. "So she was close enough to dead that they didn't even bother taking her to the emergency room – they took her right around to the morgue. Her heart was still beating, though, when Carlisle found her…"

He was quiet for a long time. I kept my eyes down though and waited for him to respond.

"You're not planning on surviving this human," he finally stated. His voice was dry and flat.

I decided to spare him my gaze then, and his expression was startling. It matched his tone flawlessly. "No," I said carefully, not wanting to offend him further. He was so naïve sometimes, and I felt bad that he'd been thinking all along that even if I died, at least I'd never be one of those bloodsucking leeches.

He didn't say anything, so elaborated a bit. "I'm not stupid. I guess you probably have your own opinion on that point, though."

"Emergency vampirism," he mumbled silently.

"It worked for Esme. And Emmett, and Rosalie, and even Edward," I said, trying to make him see that it wasn't that horrible an option. Regardless, it was my _only_ option.

He didn't answer again, so I decided to continue with more support to my plan. "None of them were in such great shape. Carlisle only changed them because it was that or death. He doesn't end lives, he saves them."

His expression changed slightly, almost like he was fighting a grimace, but before I could give it much thought, a different emotion washed over him. I recognized it instantly; desperation. Hopelessness. The same thing Edward had been showing me for days.

"Listen to me, Bells," he begged, the added weight of sorrow making his voice deeper and impossible to ignore. "Don't do it that way. Don't wait until it's too late, Bella. Not that way. Live. Okay? Just live. Don't do this to me. Don't do it to him."

His voice grew louder as anger began to work its way back into his body, and then he was pleading with vehemence and livid determination.

"You know what he's going to do when you die," he spat. "You've seen it before. You want him to go back to those Italian killers?"

I cringed away from his glare, and away from his hostile words and the images they painted in my head. I sank back into the couch as I grimaced with pain.

Seeing the damage he'd inflicted, Jake's face instantly softened, and he spoke with exaggerated slowness as he continued. "Remember when I got mangled up by those newborns? What did you tell me?"

I wracked through my brain, trying to remember back to that conversation. I was too overwhelmed at the moment to think straight. After a minute I gave up; pursing my lips and gazing at him in a way that clearly demonstrated I wasn't going to answer.

"You told me to be good and listen to Carlisle," he reminded me, still speaking cautiously. "And what did I do? I listened to the vampire. For you."

I shook my head, the full discussion suddenly flooding my mind as I recognized his statement. "You listened because it was the right thing to do."

He sighed in irritation. "Okay – pick either reason."

"It's not the right thing now," I said, inhaling a deep breath. I glanced down at my stomach – my nudger still thumping lightly against my hand – and then back at him. "I won't kill him."

His jaw locked with a sharp snap. He was starting to loose control; his hands were shaking again. I ignored the warnings still. There was no reason to fear Jake.

"Oh, I hadn't heard the great news," he spat at me. "A bouncing baby boy, huh? Shoulda brought some blue balloons."

I blushed, looking away again. Of course I didn't know the baby's gender for sure, and I knew I wouldn't until it was born. But my dreams seemed to hint at a boy, and I'd grown attached to the idea. I met Jacob's glare with a sheepish grin.

"I don't know he's a boy," I admitted, ducking my head. "The ultrasound didn't work. The membrane around the baby is too hard – like their skin." I allowed my mind to flit back to that day; four days ago, to be exact. Carlisle had insisted that I was big enough and decided it wouldn't hurt to try. But it hadn't worked; not that I minded at all. I actually liked not knowing…for sure. But I was pretty confident that he would be a boy; the vision of the child with the tousled bronze hair and sparkling green eyes was too sharp and distinct not to be real.

"So he's a little mystery," I concluded. "But I always see a boy in my head."

"It's not some pretty baby in there, Bella," he warned in a dangerous tone.

I almost rolled my eyes. But instead I settled for a smug grin. He thought he knew my child better than I did? We'd see about that. "We'll see."

"_You_ won't," he hissed.

I sighed. "You're very pessimistic, Jacob. There is definitely a chance that I might walk away from this."

He didn't answer; something I was beginning to get used to. I sighed again as his fists clenched together and shook beyond control. He was definitely slipping. Guilt washed over me in a sudden and powerful wave as I watched his struggle.

"Jake," I murmured, reaching forward to run my fingers through his hair; stroke his cheek gently. Soothingly. As I had for Edward just an hour ago. "It's going to be okay. Shh. It's okay."

He never raised his head; shielding his eyes from me just as I had done. "No. It will not be okay."

A few tears had begun to stream down his face, seemingly unnoticed by him. I wiped them away, trying with all my power to placate and calm him. "Shh."

"What's the deal, Bella?" he asked quietly, still staring down at the carpet. "I thought the whole point was that you wanted your vampire more than anything. And now you're just giving him up? That doesn't make any sense. Since when are you desperate to be a mom? If you wanted that so much, why did you marry a vampire?"

I was silent for a long time; contemplating his thoughtful questions and drawing out my response. Sometimes he was so careless that he didn't even try to break through the surface, as I had earlier suggested, but other times he was so insightful that it startled me.

I sighed, my voice just a whisper as I answered. "It's not like that. I didn't really care about having a baby. I didn't even think about it. It's not just having a baby. It's…well…" I hesitated, biting my lip anxiously. "_This_ baby."

"It's a killer, Bella," he responded, not missing a beat. "Look at yourself."

I didn't bother to glance down. In that instant, his depth and thoughtfulness disappeared, and he was right back to not knowing anything. He didn't know what he was talking about.

"He's not," I murmured. "It's me. I'm just weak and human. But I can tough this out, Jake, I can -"

"Aw, _come on!"_ he practically yelled in exasperation. "Shut up, Bella. You can spout this crap to your bloodsucker, but you're not fooling me. You know you're not going to make it."

I glared at him, resisting the urge to lean over and slap him hard across the face. The only thing that stopped me was my memory of the last time I'd attempted something closely resembling that. My left hand gave a light throb, remembering the ache of the shattered knuckles.

"I do not _know_ that," I hissed, grinding my teeth together. "I'm worried about it, sure."

"_Worried_ about it," he shot back, raising his eyebrows in a clearly disbelieving and condescending manner.

I was about to open my mouth to retort, but a sudden searing pain shot through me as my nudger gave a sharp kick; strong, and right against my side that was already dyed black with bruises. I gasped and clutched my stomach and side tightly, willing the pain to dwindle. I was happy that my baby was so healthy and powerful, but sometimes his kicks were so intense that they hurt immensely. I grimaced and sucked in a ragged breath.

"I'm fine," I mouthed in a pant, worried that I'd terrified Jacob half to death. "It's nothing."

He continued to stare at me in shock, and I suddenly realized that large portions of my damaged skin were visible. My hands must have accidently pulled my sweatshirt up in my haste. I quickly grabbed the material and yanked it back down; flushing in embarrassment as he openly gaped at me.

"He's strong, that's all," I defended myself weakly; still blushing a warm scarlet.

He made an odd noise that sounded almost like he was choking, and it took me a minute to realize he hadn't understood what he'd seen until I'd spoken. I mentally snapped at myself for letting another unintentional piece of information slip.

"Bella," he gasped, his voice catching as he barely managed to spit my name out.

I tilted my head slightly, confused by the new emotion taking root in his system. I waited for him to continue as I tried to calm my own pulse and breathing, still rapid from the baby's movement.

"Bella, don't do this."

"Jake-"

"Listen to me," he pleaded, ignoring my interruption. "Don't get your back up yet. Okay? Just listen. What if…?"

"What if what?" I sighed, knowing exactly where this conversation was headed. But I listened nonetheless. If it calmed him down, I'd listen. No sacrifices there.

"What if this wasn't a one-shot deal?" he asked. "What if it wasn't all or nothing? What if you just listened to Carlisle like a good girl, and kept yourself alive?"

He must not have realized that Carlisle was on my side; trying to help me protect the baby. "I won't-"

"I'm not done yet," he cut me off, and something in his voice kept me from opening my mouth again. "So you stay alive. Then you can start over. This didn't work out. Try again."

I frowned, not understanding what he was getting at. His logic didn't make any sense. Surely Edward would never allow us to try again to have a baby; and I would be a vampire by then regardless so it wouldn't really matter.

I reached out to smooth the crease between Jake's eyebrows; a crease that I'd often seen Edward wearing, and one that he'd told me on many occasions I had wedged between the creamy porcelain of my skin. It meant anxiety, tension, concern, worry. Fear.

"I don't understand…What do you mean, try again?" I asked him quietly. "You can't think Edward would let me…? And what difference would it make? I'm sure any baby-"

"Yes," he snapped abruptly, before I could finish my thought. "And kid _of his_ would be the same."

My frown deepened as I grew impossible more confused. "What?"

What in the world was he saying? I couldn't comprehend it, unless…

I let out a frustrated groan. "Oh. Ugh. _Please_, Jacob," I said, shocked. "You think I should kill my baby and replace it with some generic substitute? Artificial insemination?"

He didn't answer, and I felt my face grow hot as anger flooded through me for once.

"Why would I want to have some stranger's baby?" I practically shrieked. "I suppose it just doesn't make a difference? Any baby will do?"

He flinched slightly, refusing to meet my hostile stare. "I didn't mean that," he muttered silently. "Not a stranger."

I leaned forward, bringing my face closer to his. "Then what are you saying?" I whispered bitterly. How dare he even think I would do something like that?! Trade Edward's beautiful bronze-haired green-eyed child for a stranger's?! Unfeasible.

"Nothing," he murmured. "I'm saying nothing. Same as ever."

"Where did that come from?" I demanded, ignoring the double meaning in his words.

"Forget it, Bella."

I scowled, narrowing my eyes as another speculation hit me. "Did _he_ tell you to say that?"

He hesitated, working to hide his surprise. That was all I needed to tell me that the next word out of his mouth was a lie.

"No."

"He did, didn't he?" I prodded, refusing to stop until he gave me the truth.

He hesitated again, thinking. "No, really. He didn't say anything about artificial whatever."

I believed him this time; honesty and sincerity were echoed in his words. I sighed, relaxing, and sank back against the pillows supporting me. But I couldn't rid my head of the image of Edward telling me to give up our baby, even after he'd promised. But he'd broken promises before…

"He would do anything for me," I murmured sadly. "And I'm hurting him so much…But what is he thinking? That I would trade this"- I trailed my hand lightly across my stomach-"for some stranger's…" I could feel tears forming in my eyes by the end.

"You don't have to hurt him," Jake whispered softly, momentarily startling me. Even in desperate measures such as these, I knew _nothing_ would ever make Jacob side with Edward. It was entirely impossible.

"You could make him happy again, Bella," he continued, oblivious to my shock. "And I really think he's losing it. Honestly, I do."

I wasn't really focusing on his words anymore; a new idea had grasped my attention. What in the world could possibly make Jake hopeless enough to follow Edward's lead? Or rather, _willing_ enough? I knew no matter of despondency could wield Jake's convictions enough for him to turn against everything that he believed in. He was strong, and nothing could make him bend. Nothing except for…me.

But what could I do for him that would satisfy my fate and secure it with a much happier ending…in his mind, anyway? We'd basically covered every option…

My hand absently traced over my stomach as I thought, drawing little circles on the dark fabric of my sweatshirt. I chewed on my bottom lip, an old habit that would surely cost me the soft skin beneath my teeth one of these days, and pondered as the silence went on.

"Not a stranger?" I mused quietly, furrowing my eyebrows. He flinched slightly, an action I didn't understand. He was being unbelievably frustrating. "What exactly did Edward say to you?"

"Nothing," he murmured quickly. "He just thought that you might listen to me."

"Not that," I said, shaking my head. Why was he being so vague?! "About trying again."

I raised my head to meet his eyes, and his expression was mortified. And then it just clicked.

"Nothing."

I ignored his denial; we both knew it wasn't true. I could feel my body freeze up as a powerful wave of genuine alarm washed over me; stunning me. My mouth dropped open. "Wow."

Holy crow. _Holy freaking crow. He was offering himself up to have a baby with me. No, **Edward** was offering him up to have a baby with me. How the hell could things possibly get more twisted and corrupt?! _

He looked down quickly, his face burning a dark burgundy. I was sure my entire face was engulfed in red. Just the mere thought of it was enough to make me blush. But for it to be said out loud? _Jacob freaking Black and Isabella Swan, no…**Cullen**, having a baby together. With permission and encouragement from her husband?!_

"He really would do _anything_, wouldn't he?" I breathed in absolute disbelief.

"I told you he was going crazy," he muttered back. "Literally, Bells."

"I'm surprised you didn't tell on him right away," I said, trying to force a smile. The idea was so ridiculous that it was almost funny. Almost. "Get him in trouble."

He tried to smile back, but it looked painful and quickly twisted into a grimace. "Thought about it," he whispered. I could hear the torture in his voice.

I knew he had gotten his hopes up. He knew as a dead-straight fact that I would never accept his offer, but he had still let himself hope. The thought crushed me, because I knew that no matter what I did, I was always hurting him. Because I just wasn't, and never would be, his.

"There isn't much you wouldn't do for me, either, is there?" I asked him quietly. We both knew the answer, so he didn't anything.

"I don't know why you bother," I continued. "I don't deserve either of you."

"It makes no difference, though," he inquired in the same tone. "Does it?"

I sighed, shaking my head. "Not this time. I wish I could explain it to you right so that you would understand." I furrowed my eyebrows and pointed to my stomach. "I can't hurt him, any more that I could pick up a gun and shoot you. I love him."

I hoped he could grasp that; I wanted, no needed him to understand and accept. I needed him on my side, and I didn't want him to continue grieving over me and the life he was convinced I was giving up. Him and just about everyone else.

"Why do you always have to love the wrong things, Bella?" he asked, frowning slightly. I could see that he truly believed his words.

"I don't think I do," I answered confidently, challenging him.

He cleared his throat and then sighed, and his voice was bitter again when he spoke. "Trust me."

Before I could respond, he straightened up and made to get to his feet. I blinked, confused.

"Where are you going?"

He didn't spare me a glance. "I'm not doing any good here."

He started to walk away, but I stretched out my hand and grabbed his, curling my fingers tightly around his wrist. He could have knocked it away without effort.

"Don't go," I begged, saddened by the thought of him disappearing yet again.

He hesitated, but pulled away from my grasp and turned toward me. I kept my hand outstretched, but he didn't take it. "I don't belong here. I've got to get back."

That wasn't good enough for me. "Why did you come back today?"

He sighed. "Just to see if you were really alive." His frown deepened. "I didn't believe you were sick like Charlie said."

Oh. Not quite the answer I was expecting. I had hoped he'd come just to see me, a selfish thought as it was, but we were best friends. I didn't like the idea of him leaving me now; we still had so much to talk about.

"Will you come back again?" I asked pathetically, my voice giving away my desire for his return. "Before…"

"I'm not going to hang around and watch you die, Bella," he hissed, scowling.

I flinched, wounded by his harsh remark. My want for his presence suddenly lessened; if he wasn't going to be supportive, and if all he would do is bring me down, then he could most certainly go. But at the same time…

"You're right, you're right," I quickly deciding, shaking my head. "You should go."

He nodded once and turned back around to head for the door. Before he left, I mumbled a quiet and broken, "Bye. Love you, Jake."

He froze in his tracks, but didn't come back. I watched as his tensed muscles loosened, and as he vanished outside, I heard him whisper, "Sure, sure."

Everything was still and silent in the first minutes that followed his departure. I knew Edward must be hovering just outside the door, but he was giving me time to recover, and no doubt holding Rosalie back, as well. I could never stop thanking him for every small thing he did for me.

I took another minute to try to absorb everything that had been said in the past twenty minutes or so, but that was not possible, and I was quickly overwhelmed. I took a deep breath in a pitiful attempt at calming down and releasing a bit of the stress, but eventually gave up.

"Edward?" I called out softly.

He was back at my side before I could blink. He took my hands just as Jacob had, and his were pure ice compared to the heat of my best friend's.

I squeezed his hands softly and he sprinkled the backs of mine with gentle kisses, interrupted by the occasional murmur of, "Are you all right?'

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay."

He didn't buy it; I could tell right away. But he didn't press it. Not much.

"What happened?" he asked, sitting next to me when I patted the empty cushion beside me. Rosalie flitted in then, quickly reclaiming her protective crouch behind the couch and slightly curved over me. I gave her a brief smile and then returned my attention to Edward.

"Weren't you listening?" I raised my eyebrows slightly.

For the shortest second, guilt replaced the panic on his face and I knew I'd caught him. Of course not a surprise; I'd actually been hoping that he would listen in…maybe help me understand what had happened.

"I'm sorry," he repented, the corners of his lips curving down into a small frown.

"No, it's fine," I said, shaking my head in dismissal. "I was just wondering why you would bother to ask if you already knew everything."

"I don't know everything," he said, visibly relieved that I wasn't angry. But that just left room for the burning torture to return to his expression. I leaned over and collapsed against his shoulder, sighing.

"What do you mean?"

"I heard what you said, and I heard Jacob's mental reactions," he explained. "But I still have no idea what your thoughts were, or are, now."

"Oh." I furrowed my eyebrows. "Umm I'm not sure. I'm actually just really confused right now." I raised my head to meet his gaze. "I was kind of hoping you might tell me what Jake was thinking?"

He gave me a reprimanding look. "Now you know that's not fair to him."

I snorted. "Since when you do care about what's fair to him?"

He rolled his eyes, and I smiled slightly. "That's not the point, Bella."

"Fine, then. No insight of my inner mind for you."

I knew that would break him. He took every opportunity he could grasp to learn more about my thought process and understand what I was truly thinking at any given time. My smile widened as I watched his raging internal battle.

I won, just as I expected.

"All right, all right," he grumbled. "What do you want to know?"

I shrugged, feigning disinterest. "Anything particularly interesting. You choose."

He raised his eyebrows. "Oh?"

Now it was my turn to break. "Okay, fine. Please please tell me what the hell he was thinking about offering to…" I trailed off, suddenly changing my mind. With a new determination, I fixed a glare up at him. "No, tell me what the hell _you_ were thinking, pulling a stunt like that?!"

He flinched away from the hostility in my tone. It was weak and didn't sound threatening in the slightest, but he knew I was serious.

"Edward, I mean honestly, how stupid do you think I am?!"

His frown returned, along with that familiar crease of concern that marked his forehead. "Bella, I'm sorry. I know that was out of line."

"Way more than that!" I scowled. "Do you have any idea what it must have done to him? If you had _seen the look on his face!_ You killed him! And you used him in a situation that you knew wouldn't benefit him! That's just…" I didn't finish. I couldn't think of a bad enough thing to say; I was so furious. Any thoughts of uncovering Jake's secret reactions were suddenly lost.

He sat quietly for a long time, never removing his hands from mine or shifting me away. Eventually, he released a quiet sigh and began to rub soothing circles on the back of my hand with his thumb.

"I know nothing I can ever say will put it clearly enough for you, but I'll try anyway. I'm sorry, again, for using him like that. But I honestly admit that I wasn't completely sure you'd turn him down."

My posture tightened and I could almost imagine the look of pure shock on my face.

"What do you me-"

"Bella," he interrupted, gently placing his hand over my mouth. "Please let me finish. You can yell at me as much as you want to when I finish. Is that a deal?"

I couldn't answer, so I just nodded. My back remained ramrod straight.

"I knew the chance was slim, because I know that even though you love him, it's just not enough. You chose me, and though I'd be willing to let you go if it was what you truly desired, I was pretty confident that you would never want to leave. But I thought I would try anyway, because in all honesty, Bella, I just can't live without you. It would break my heart to see you with another man, it would shatter what happiness I have to watch you carry another's child, but it would absolutely kill me to let you die and slip away from my fingers forever."

He gazed down at me intently, the emotion pure and overwhelming in his pitch eyes; smoldering even through the blackness. "I know I've said this before, Bella, but it will always be true," he breathed roughly. "I just can't live in a world where you don't exist."

I suddenly forgot how to breathe, and the heat of my anger rapidly disappeared. My face softened under his powerful reverence, and I felt the ends of my lips instinctively twist up into a delicate smile. "Is that really why?"

"Oh Bella," he whispered, returning my smile, "If you had any idea of how much I need you; how much I love you."

"You know I need you just as much," I answered. "And I don't think you'll ever understand how much I love you." I reached up and took his face in my hands. "You need to let your doubts go, Edward. I'm here. I love you. I need you. I'm never going to leave you, I promise."

He leaned down and closed the distance between us, taking my bottom lip in his mouth and kissing me softly. I parted my lips to allow him further access and lifted my hands to wrap around his neck and curl into his mess of bronze hair. He let this continue for a few seconds, further deepening the kiss himself, before he pulled away and gently pried my hands back into my lap. They'd only rested there a minute before he twisted his fingers between mine and held them tightly.

"Now then," he murmured quietly. "Now that that's settled, back to your original question. What would you like to know?"

I took a long time to think. I decided it was probably best not to know some of his reactions; I was afraid of the damage it would do me to learn of his turmoil and anger. So I settled for the one question that I just needed to know the answer to.

"Is he going to come back?" I asked in a tiny voice, looking down at our hands.

He hesitated for a moment, but then he shook his head. I felt my heart sink a little.

"I don't know for sure, though," he quickly added, seeing my downcast expression. "He could always change his mind. I'm sure he just needs some time to…go over a few things. Learn some acceptance. If you two are really as close as you seem to be, I'm sure he'll be back."

I could tell he wasn't very happy about that notion, but he tried his best to hide it from me, for my sake. I sighed.

"Edward, I know you don't like Jake," I said, one of my lips curving up slightly in a half-hearted grin. "You don't have to hide it from me. I don't care."

"I know," he replied. "I just don't like hurting you."

My grin was genuine this time. "Thanks."

He pressed his lips to my forehead, and then inhaled the scent of my hair. I couldn't imagine why; it was horribly greasy and ratty and in desperate need of a wash. But if I were to tell that to him, he would just laugh and say that I still smelled beautiful as ever. "No problem."

Rosalie cleared her throat suddenly, reminding me of her presence. If my body hadn't been so drained of blood, I would have blushed dark scarlet as I realized she'd witnessed our entire intimate conversation. But I couldn't mind that much; it was by my request that she was here.

We both looked up at her, and she rolled her eyes toward the front door, frowning. I looked over and saw Alice poking her head through the open doorframe, eyes obviously pleading to be allowed inside. Jasper appeared behind her, and I noticed that it was only by his effort that she didn't barge right in. He held her tightly around her waist, and I wouldn't be surprised if he'd doused her constant hyperactive nature with a layer of calm, as well.

I had to laugh at the sight, and I quickly waved her inside. She stuck out her tongue at Jasper and darted straight to the couch, plopping down by my feet and gazing up at me like a child waiting to have a story read to them.

"So what happened?" she chirped before my brain could accept that she was here. The speed with which they all moved never ceased to muddle my head. I blinked and, upon hearing her question, shrugged.

She groaned. "Come on Bella, you've got to tell me what happened! The vision made it look like you had some very serious matters to discuss."

"She did," Edward answered for me, raising his head from my hair to glare down at her.

"I wasn't asking you, Edward." She returned his glare, adding her signature pout, too.

"Stop it," I told them both. "I'm right here! And Alice…I don't know. It was just a lot of…talking. A bit of catching up, a bit of him yelling at me for being an idiot, and a ton of freaking out because your brother is an idiot." I winked up at him, and he rolled his eyes.

"Really?" She perked up at once. "Edward, an idiot? You just made my day."

I burst out laughing and she quickly joined in, and after a moment of quiet defiance, Edward started laughing, too. Rose just stared at us like were a bunch of annoying insects, and she almost looked like she would have squashed us if she could. I met her eyes for a second, and at least got her to crack a small smile.

But the moment of careless humor quickly dissipated when the laughter finally became too much for me and I started coughing furiously. The coughs were painful as they tightened my stomach and sent my ribs jabbing at my fragile skin. My nudger started kicking, and I inhaled a sharp breath as I pulled my hands from Edward's and tried to pull myself back together.

"Bella?" He was instantly alert, the panic returning to his voice.

"Ow," I whimpered pathetically.

"What is it?"

"Laughter," I groaned, squeezing my eyes shut. "Painful. Baby kicking. Ouch."

"Is there something I can-"

"If anyone's doing anything for her, it's me," Rosalie interrupted, growling at him.

"Rose, leave him alone," I scolded, beginning to regain control of my voice. "I'm okay; it's already going away."

She cast him another glare but backed down once she was assured that my words were true. Edward continued to watch me cautiously though, and I gave him a smile.

"See? All good."

He narrowed his eyes. "It is _not_ all good, but-"

"But you're going to drop the subject because you want me to be happy, right?"

His jaw locked with a snap. "Very funny, Bella."

I shrugged, turning my attention to Alice. She regarded me hesitantly, too, but upon seeing my meaningful expression quickly transformed her face into one of perfect ease and tranquility. I smiled thankfully, and she smiled back.

"So wait," I asked her, suddenly realizing something. "You said that your vision told you that Jake and I were having a serious discussion. I thought you couldn't see the wolves?"

"I can't," she replied simply.

"Oh. Then how…?"

"I just saw you sitting alone on the couch, looking really torn up. Probably right after he left, and before Edward came back inside. I just figured it meant something important had happened."

"Oh." That made sense. "But then how did you know that it was him coming, earlier?"

"You said his name."

I nodded. "Huh. So I guess I couldn't ask you if you could see something involving him, then?"

Edward gave me an odd look, but I ignored him. He'd understand in a second.

She pursed her lips. "Umm…you can, but I can't guarantee you anything. Sorry."

"It's fine," I answered lightly. "I just really want to know if he's ever going to come back."

Edward groaned slightly, letting his head fall down onto my shoulder. I raised my hand to his neck and sank my fingers into his hair, gently tugging at the locks and massaging his scalp.

Alice watched the intimate gesture, and then she smiled and started rocking on her haunches, nodding excitedly. "I can actually answer that one! Yes; yes, he'll definitely be back! And very soon it seems."

"Really?" I could feel my spirits lifting a bit.

She nodded again. "It seems he won't be alone, either. I can see Edward and Carlisle talking about a small group of them." She tilted her head slightly to the side. "But why would the rest of the pack be coming here?"

"I guess there's only one way to find out."

"No," Rosalie interjected, shaking her head firmly. "No. I won't let them inside. No one else can be around Bella. What if they expose her to something?"

"I'm sure she'll be fine," Alice reprimanded, rolling her eyes.

"But you don't know that. I'm not taking any chances," she snapped. "No more dogs. They're disgusting as it is."

"Rose."

"I know he's your best friend, Bella," she said, sounding appalled by even that fact, "But that doesn't mean I have to like him."

"It doesn't mean any of us have to like him," Edward muttered, his face still buried in the crook of my shoulder.

I sighed and he laughed once; a short dry laugh. I glanced over at him but he wasn't looking at me. His eyes were closed and he had a smug grin on his lips

"Now Rosalie, that's not very nice," he murmured, chuckling again. Whatever she was thinking must have amused him, because he smiled again and raised his head to meet her gaze.

She just shrugged, looking bored as ever. "Whatever."

I gave Edward a quizzical look, but he just stroked my hair.

"Not to worry, love. Just ignore Rosalie."

She glared down at him viciously, but he ignored her and went back to pressing his face into my messy brown tresses, curling the straight stands around his fingers.

"Alice?" he questioned. "Would you mind helping me give Bella her bath tonight? I don't think your sister can handle the responsibility, and I wouldn't trust her anyway, not with the things she dares to think."

Rose's mouth fell open in shock before she could contain herself, and then she pulled back her teeth and released a snarl that sent a chill flashing down my spine.

"And if she's going to scare Bella," he added complacently, "She might as well not exist as protection at all."

"Edward!"

"I don't want to hear it, Rose," he sighed. "I have enough to worry about as it is." His voice broke on the second part, and I could tell that his mock arrogance was just an act of false nonchalance to keep me relaxed.

I frowned, and he turned to Alice, silently pleading. He'd been serious on _that_ part.

She smiled brightly and nodded. "Yeah, no problem."

"No," Rosalie hissed. "No one else is coming near her."

"That's not your decision to make," Edward told her evenly.

"She appointed me," she shot back, leaning over me.

"And you need to hunt," he said. "Honestly Rose, you're unstable. Have you seen your eyes?"

She stared at him in disbelief. "Have you seen _your_ eyes?! They're pitch black!"

"And I'm not leaving her."

"Stop it! Both of you!" I yelled, ignoring the sickening way my voice cracked and how Edward flinched. "You're both acting like immature five year olds! Edward; you're just as unstable as Rosalie. You're like someone that hasn't sleep in days…no, weeks!"

Alice trilled with laughter and he shot her a dark look. I hit him lightly on the shoulder and he glanced back at me.

"Rose is right," I scolded. "You need to go hunt."

"No," he argued. "I'm not leaving you."

"I'll be fine," I said. "Alice and Esme can take care of me for one night, right Alice?"

She nodded. "Of course."

"See? You and Rose need to go. Just bring your phones and call if you get worried."

"No, Bella," he said sharply. I knew that was his final answer. I sighed, knowing the battle was lost. I didn't have the strength to fight, regardless. I was growing weaker by the minute.

"Then can you at least-"

I couldn't finish because another unexpected fit of coughing struck me, forcing me to gasp in pain and struggle to breathe. It started like the other, but this time it was worse. Much worse. I could feel it.

"Bella?"

I shook my head fiercely to indicate that this wave wasn't about to pass as easily as the first. Alice darted to get me a glass of water, but I couldn't swallow it, and the pain continued to grow.

Eventually the coughing stopped, but the burning ache still resonated through me, keeping every part of me locked in its excruciating embrace.

"Get…Carlisle," I whispered when I had gained enough control to open my mouth quietly.

Edward's eyes flashed. I never called on Carlisle for help, unless it was serious. He was gone before I could blink.

"Bella?! Bella, how did this happen?" Alice demanded, taking my hands. "You were just talking a minute ago…"

"She has no control over it," Rosalie snapped, snatching my hands from Alice's grip and forcing her to back off. "It comes and goes at the most unexpected times. You've seen that."

She nodded, watching me with fear in her glassy eyes.

"She's becoming too weak to handle it." Rose's voice dropped, taking on a flat, deadly sound. "This is exactly what we feared. At least Carlisle is prepared."

I wasn't sure what she meant, but I couldn't focus on anything they were saying. The pain seared through my head, my stomach, my arms and legs…

I released a loud moan just as Edward rushed back inside, Carlisle right behind him.

Rose instantly stepped back for Carlisle to reach me, and he grabbed my hand and stretched it out, feeling my pulse and pressing along the veins. He frowned, and then his eyes flashed to mine in a silent apology before he lifted my sweatshirt up and over my head, tossing it to Alice who caught it and bundled it under her arm.

He inhaled a low gasp as he felt my pulse along my neck and chest, and proceeded to open his bag and plunge a syringe of morphine into my left arm. The first dose I'd had in days.

I welcomed the raw numbing sensations that rushed through me, but this time one capsule wasn't enough to kill all the pain. I continued to writhe under his gentle but steady hand, and he pulled back with a sigh.

His expression changed into a mask of sadness, and he shifted his gaze to meet Edward's eyes. "She's not doing as well as I'd like," he murmured, more for the sake of everyone else in the room. Edward heard everything perfectly in his mind, and his own face took on an edge of defeat.

He nodded solemnly and Carlisle reached over and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "It's time."

Alice's expression darkened instantly as she saw what was about to happen. "Oh. Okay…do you want me to go get the…"

"It's all right, Alice," Carlisle told her. "Just stay with Bella, please." His eyes darted to Rosalie, and then back to Edward. "Rosalie, Edward, would you come with me?"

They nodded quietly, Rose somewhat unwillingly, but then they walked away and disappeared up the winding staircase.

"Alice," I whispered. "What's happening?"

She glanced over at me sadly and gave a small smile. "Nothing, Bella. We're just readjusting a few things; you won't be on this couch for much longer."

Even through the pain, my alarm momentarily took control as the strongest emotion. "Why?"

She sighed. "Because you're very very sick, and this will help."

I saw a shadow across the room and looked back to the staircase. My mouth fell open as I watched Edward and Rosalie carefully carry a narrow bed that looked like the ones in hospitals down the stairs, followed by Carlisle, who was balancing several machines and bags – also hospital oriented.

I tried to shrink back into the couch, but found that any movement below my neck was piercing. Alice reached over and rubbed the back of my hand in a consoling sisterly gesture, and then proceeded to help me put my sweatshirt back on.

"Bella," Carlisle gently called me once they had reached the floor before us. "I heard Alice explaining to you…I don't want you to worry. All this is is just a minor change of placement; I want to be able to monitor you a bit more properly, and this is the safest and easiest way to accomplish that."

I eyed a few of the long tubes coiled around a machine he was holding and glanced up at him in fear. "More needles?"

He sighed. "Yes Bella, I'm sorry."

I could feel the panic building in me, quickening my heartbeat and causing my shallow, labored breathes to come in desperate gasps. I'd tolerated the morphine shots, but if he was intending to give me an _IV…_

Edward sensed my tension at once. "Alice, go find Jasper and bring him in."

Without a word, she hopped up and darted out the door, disappearing in a blur of her dark blue dress and black hair.

"Are you going to have Jasper put me to sleep?" I asked him quietly.

He nodded. "I know you don't like it when we force that upon you, but everything will be so much simpler if you're asleep. And besides," he murmured, coming over and crouching down beside me, "I don't want you to be in any pain."

I tried to smile. "Thanks, again."

He smiled back. "What did I say? I don't like to see you hurting, whatever type of aching it is." He pressed his lips to my forehead before rising to his feet and returning to Rose. I watched as they began unfolding the various metal parts of the bed and stretching out blankets and pillows to make it more comfortable for me.

Alice burst through the door then, Jasper's hand in hers. She dragged him along until he was standing so close in front of me that I could reach out and touch him without extending my arm. He smiled down at me sadly.

"Hey Bella."

"Hi Jasper," I whispered.

He sighed. "Sorry about this…"

"It doesn't matter," I assured him, throwing glances at his wife and my husband, both now busy at work on the bed. Rose now stood by Carlisle, helping him set up the IV machine and the large monitor. "You're only trying to help."

He nodded, frowning slightly. "I'm still so sorry, Bella. You look…"

"Terrible. Nearly dead, I know," I finished, forcing a wry smile to my lips. "Trust me, I feel it, too."

"Then it's time for you to sleep."

I closed my eyes as he sat down beside me and placed his hand on my shoulder, and within seconds I could feel the overwhelming exhaustion and fatigue radiating from his fingertips. My body began to relax, and for the first time in days, I sank into a deep and untroubled slumber. I knew the nightmares would be back, and I knew that my peace would soon be shattered as the restlessness of my condition dragged me back to the surface. But all that mattered in that moment was the thoughtless, dreamless silence.

* * *

(A/N:) WOW...holy freaking crow, I'm so sorry everyone. Waaaaayyyyy overdue update. But I've had a lot going on lately; this year's been hell. Thankfully it's almost summer, though...and then I should be able to finish this thing in a snap =]

I rather like this chapter...it was a lot of fun to write. I love the little bit with Bella & Jazz at the end. And of course, it was ridiculously hilarious writing the coversation with Jake. That. Was. Priceless. And of course all the bits with Bella/Edward. Yay for romantic vampire fluff. Those two complete me. Honestly. I don't know what I'd do without them 3

And......on one more note for the night....HAPPY BIRTHDAY SPUNK!!!!! IT'S ROB'S 23RD BIRTHDAY TODAY!!!! So of course I just HAD to update today...it would be a crime not to. Happy Birthday baby, love you to death! Thanks for being such a great Edward! I'm sure he gives you props for that! =D

--Steph


	7. Improvements

14. IMPROVEMENTS

I woke up a little after dawn the next morning. I'd slept about eleven hours, but it hadn't really been effective or useful. Not at all. Just as I'd feared, the nightmares had tormented me the majority of the time, and even in sleep I could still feel the pain. It wasn't fair. I was supposed to be allowed some temporary relief, wasn't I? Not an endless struggle with no hope of it even lessening, even if infinitesimally? Urrggg…

Edward and Rose stayed by my side the entire time I slept, and then refused to leave once I was awake. I told them they were both idiots for staying in when they could have gone hunting, but Edward just sighed and Rosalie told me that I was the idiot. What if something happened while they were away?

All morning they stood on either side of my bed like statues, only their eyes following the movements of the rest of the family. But once I even twitched a finger or released the tiniest groan, they instantly sprang to life and were fighting for the chance to assist me in any possible way. It was maddening and ridiculous, obviously, but at the same time, I couldn't complain. It was pretty sweet, and as much as I hated to admit it, I needed all the help I could get now. Even the simplest and smallest tasks were outrageously difficult for me, tasks such as moving, and talking, and breathing…and just sitting flat on my back and doing nothing.

Carlisle came by about once every hour to check how I was doing; read the stats on his complicated looking monitor. I didn't feel much different than I had last night, maybe a bit worse, but that was to be expected. He didn't seem pleased with my results, nonetheless. The last time he'd left, he'd walked off shaking his head and muttering medical gibberish. Not an encouraging sign.

Edward had called Jasper over several times, hoping he could alleviate some of my pain with his peculiar gift of emotional manipulation. It worked some, but the full effect couldn't be grasped for unknown reasons. Carlisle had refused to give me morphine today; he was slightly concerned with the amount he'd already injected into my blood the past nine days, worried it could lead to dependence or addiction. Too much medicine is never a good thing to condone, even if it helps at the present moment. I was learning that the hard way.

Around noon, Jake came back. I wanted to say that I was surprised, but I'd always known he'd be back. Because as I'd thought before, neither of us could keep away.

Edward hadn't been thrilled with his arrival, but Rose managed to take it with even less grace. He sent her several dark scowls as her thoughts must have turned noticeably darker and bitter. I sighed and silently willed them to both just drop it and accept that the wolves were going to be around. I _wanted_ them around. And I knew they wouldn't argue with me when I wanted something; they were both eager puppies waiting to please their master. It was almost sad how willing they were to do just about anything I even considered.

Carlisle shot me a brief, tired smile as he crossed the room to step out onto the porch and talk to Jake. I tried to smile back, but the effort was painful. His smile faltered as he disappeared outside.

After a few minutes of tense silence, my curiosity got the best of me and I turned my gaze up to Edward. He looked down immediately, noticing the obvious question in my eyes. His hands were clenched into tight fists around the frame of my hospital bed; I was certain when he removed them the metal would be broken and distorted.

"You want to know what they're talking about."

I nodded.

"Of course she does," Rose sighed, rolling her eyes. "She'll latch onto anything concerning that good-for-nothing mutt."

"Rosalie." Edward's voice was abruptly flat; dead and ice-cold. His eyes were narrowed at her menacingly.

"Edward, just drop it," I told him, too exhausted to argue. "Rose, leave Jake alone."

They both frowned at me, but kept their mouths shut.

"Now," I started, "Yes, Edward, I would like to know what's going on outside, please?"

He nodded, and was silent for a moment, absorbing information. Then he sighed, answering, "They're just talking about your…condition. Carlisle is giving him all the medical stats…telling him everything we know. Trying to figure out what the hell's going on, and how we're going to keep you safe."

"Oh."

He hummed his agreement, and then paused, going silent again.

"Edward?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows slightly.

He didn't respond, but I watched as he pursed his lips and that familiar crevice of concern reappeared on his forehead. Someone must have said something important.

"Edward?"

He glanced down at me for a second, and then returned his attention to the front. He loosened his hands from the bed frame and bent down to give me a swift kiss on my cheek.

"I'll be right back, Bella," he murmured. "I want to speak with Carlisle for a moment."

I nodded, expecting him to leave, but instead he turned his attention to Rose.

"Actually, Rosalie, would you mind joining me?"

She raised her eyebrows, and I was tempted to, too. His voice sounded suddenly different…lighter. _Hopeful_. The word stuck in the back of my throat, rendering me speechless.

"What is it, Edward?" I whispered curiously.

"Nothing you need to worry about, love," he assured me. "It will just take a second. Please, Rose?"

She sighed, grumbling and pouting, but I knew she would go with him.

"Esme?" she called out a second later. "Can you mind Bella for me?"

I felt like a toddler or a naughty young animal not to be trusted alone. I was so used to being babied by now; I hated it, but it had unfortunately become a main part of my life since meeting Edward and his family.

"Of course," I heard Esme answer from the stairs. I looked over and she was stepping down, and before I could blink she was beside me.

"Thank you," Edward told her, and then he and Rose disappeared out the front door, closing it behind them. I stared at the spot where his hands had been on my bed. Completely twisted and distorted, as expected.

"How are you feeling, Bella?" Esme asked me, smiling as always. The warmth had mostly vanished from her face during the past week, due to the high stress and anxiety levels, but the gesture was still the same. I smiled back half-heartedly.

"About the same as I was this morning," I shrugged, resisting a yawn. I was so exhausted.

"Well…that's all right," she said, nodding. "Better to be constant than digressing."

"Good point."

"Has Carlisle given you your pills yet?"

I nodded. "Yeah, he came by about two hours ago and gave them to me." For the past few days, Carlisle had suggested that I try taking vitamins; since I was unable to eat food or drink anything besides a forced glass of water, he thought a small dissolvable pill would still help deliver some nutrients to my failing body. Edward had quickly agreed to it, and I couldn't see any harm in it, so I'd begun taking two of the red pills every day. No improvement to my health, but at least when I died it wouldn't be from a lack of iron or calcium.

"Good. Do you think they're helping at all?" Her voice rose a little at the end, unable to conceal her hope. I sighed.

"No, Esme. They're not; I'm sorry."

Her careful smile fell for the briefest second, but then she recovered. "Well, I never thought that they would, to tell the truth. But it's still a nice thought."

"Yes," I agreed dryly. "It is."

"Oh look," she exclaimed suddenly, fixing her attention on the front door. "They're coming back in." Her voice confused me slightly; it sounded almost as if she was reluctant to allow them back inside. What had they been talking about?

Edward came in first, quickly darting to my side and taking my numb hand. Rosalie was next, flitting next to him in the span of half a second. I greeted them both with a small smile, which Rose returned enthusiastically. I recognized the familiar new light sparking in her eyes, and it startled me a bit. Edward's expression was intense, and troubled, but Rosalie's smile was so dazzling it was as if someone had just handed her the title of Miss Universe. Not that it would matter much to her; she was already fully aware of the fact that she was the most beautiful creature on two legs, dead or alive. I raised my eyebrows in confusion.

"What's going on?" I asked as Carlisle entered, walking slowly to stand by Esme. Jake followed after him, lumbering through the door with a look that clearly told me he wanted to get the hell out of here and never look back. I frowned as he stopped halfway across the room, staring at me with a dead expression.

"Jacob had an idea that might help you," Carlisle explained quietly. He looked slightly hesitant to continue, but seemed to ignore his moment of doubt as he looked straight into my eyes. "It won't be…pleasant, but-"

"But it will help the baby," Rose shot in suddenly, practically bouncing on her heels. Ah, that would explicate her eagerness. Something for the baby. I could feel my own energy level start to rise as the thought took control of my mind.

"We've thought of a better way to feed him," she elaborated. She paused for a second, and then added, "Maybe."

I smiled at her and coughed a quiet chuckle. "Not pleasant? Gosh, that'll be such a change." I looked to the thick IV attached to my arm, the needle going deep under my skin.

Rosalie laughed at my weak sarcasm and I gave her another tiny smile.

Edward shot her a dark look and started rubbing my hand with his thumb, holding it tightly. His eyes were frantic as they met mine, and my smile quickly disappeared. Something about this wasn't right. If it was going to help the baby, of course I'd do it…but what was it?

"Bella, love," he murmured in a low voice, speaking only for me. He disregarded the others as if they weren't there. "We're going to ask you to do something monstrous." He grimaced, giving my hand a gentle squeeze. "Repulsive."

As quickly as it had come, the fresh burst of energy disappeared, leaving me exhausted and worried once again. I pursed my lips, drawing a shaky breath. "How bad?"

Carlisle was the one who answered. "We think the fetus might have an appetite closer to ours than to yours." He paused for the briefest second. "We think it's thirsty."

I blinked. "Oh." Then it really hit me. _"Oh."_

"Your condition – both of your conditions – are deteriorating rapidly," he continued. "We don't have time to waste, to come up with more palatable ways to do this. The fastest way to test the theory-"

"I've got to drink it," I whispered, understanding. I nodded slightly, quickly deciding that I could handle it. Just don't think about it. "I can do that. Practice for the future, right?"

I glanced up at Edward and flashed him my best grin. He didn't smile back.

Rose started tapping her toe against the wood floor. I knew she was impatient; like Carlisle had said, there wasn't any time to waste. I took a deep breath.

"So, who's going to catch me a grizzly bear?" I tried to picture Emmett going after one and dragging it back to the house, still alive and wrestling. The visual made me want to laugh.

Everyone went quiet. Rosalie's foot lay flat and unmoving against the ground, and Carlisle and Edward exchanged a brief but meaningful glance. I didn't understand their reactions.

"What?"

"It will be a more effective test if we don't cut corners, Bella," Carlisle murmured.

"If the fetus is craving blood," Edward added unwillingly, "it's not craving animal blood."

My heart skipped a beat. _Holy crow, they wanted me to drink human blood?!!_

"It won't make a difference to you, Bella," Rose said suddenly, obviously trying to assuage my fear. "Don't think about it."

My eyes widened as I glanced up at her. She smiled down at me and brushed a strand of my hair from my face. I couldn't appreciate her soothing gesture; now I was panicked.

"Who?" I whispered quietly, and suddenly all I could focus on was Jake. Oh no. He was the only human here, in a house full of vampires. I forgot how to breathe.

"I'm not here as a donor, Bells," he grumbled, seemingly understanding my tense expression. I relaxed at his words. Holy crow, thank goodness.

"Sides," he added, "it's human blood that thing's after, and I don't think mine applies-"

"We have blood on hand," Rose interrupted, cutting Jake off. She smiled encouragingly at me again. "For you-just in case. Don't worry about anything at all. It's going to be fine. I have a good feeling about this, Bella. I think the baby will be so much better." And she really sounded like she meant it, hopeful wasn't even the right word for it anymore. It was confidence. She seemed to _know _that this would help.

I lifted my hand and lightly ran it across my stomach, sighing deeply. "Well, _I'm_ starving, so I'll bet he is, too." I shook my head lightly, a small smile of disbelief tugging at the corners of my lips. "Let's go for it. My first vampire act."

Rose beamed at me, and Carlisle allowed a brief smile of satisfaction. "We'll be right back," he told me, and then the two of them disappeared up the stairs. Edward stayed with me, and Jake still hadn't moved from his stance in the middle of the floor.

I could tell Edward was nervous; I knew he felt horrible for making me do this, but it wasn't his fault. And it was my choice, really. I could refuse the blood if I chose to. I stared back into his eyes and tried to possibly alleviate some of his anxiety and guilt. He brought my hand up and kissed my knuckles softly, never tearing his eyes from mine.

Rosalie suddenly darted past us, racing into the kitchen and throwing open what sounded like cupboard doors. I heard the clang of metal and plastic cups and pans being tossed around, and then silence.

Edward raised his lips from my hand to murmur, "Not _clear_, Rosalie."

I gave him a puzzled look and he rolled his eyes and chuckled. Before I could blink, she was racing past us again and disappearing back upstairs. Edward sighed.

I turned my attention to Jake, and he gazed back at me numbly. "This was your idea?" I asked him quietly.

He chuckled and walked a bit closer. "Don't blame me for this one. Your vampire was just picking snide comments out of my head."

I gave him a tiny smile. "I didn't expect to see you again." I'd considered it, and in all honestly I hadn't been surprised when he'd returned, but it was still a bit unexpected. But I was so glad that he came back.

He nodded, agreeing. "Yeah, me, either."

I suddenly remembered the conversation I'd had with Edward a few hours ago. When he told me that Jake had left his pack because none of them wanted to save me. I had a sudden urge to jump up and hug him for sacrificing so much for me. If only I could move…

"Edward told me what you had to do. I'm sorry."

"S'okay," he shrugged. "It was probably only a matter of time till I snapped over something Sam wanted me to do."

"And Seth," I added, remembering Edward's words.

_Don't fret too much, love. He's not alone. Seth left with him. The two of them are watching each other's backs, hopefully._

"He's actually happy to help," Jake assured me, shrugging again. I could imagine that. Seth was just a happy kid, like a little sun. Almost like Jake had been for me, when I'd most needed light.

I sighed. "I hate causing you trouble."

He laughed once, a short humorless laugh. Yeah, I deserved that.

"I guess that's nothing new, is it?"

He shook his head. "No, not really."

I sighed again. "You don't have to stay and watch this."

He was quiet for a moment, deliberating. I could see the struggle in his eyes as he carefully turned over his options, eventually settling for one. I already knew what it would be.

"I don't really have anywhere else to go," he said in an emotionless tone. Yup, just as I expected. A rush of remorse overcame me.

"The wolf thing is a lot less appealing since Leah joined up."

I felt my mouth drop open. "Leah?"

Jake glanced over at Edward, frowning. "You didn't tell her?"

He just shrugged, never taking his eyes off my face. I felt bad for ignoring him, but the news was shocking. And bad.

"Why?" I demanded. Why the hell would _Leah_ ever join up with Jake? And to protect a family of vampires and a frail little human girl?

Jake pursed his lips. "To keep an eye on Seth."

I didn't believe him. But I didn't press it. "But Leah hates us."

He sighed. "Leah's not going to bug anyone. She's in my pack, so she follows my lead." He didn't look very happy about that. His expression was one of pure annoyance and pain.

I frowned. He noticed.

"You're scared of _Leah_, but you're best buds with the psychopath blonde?" he snapped.

I faintly heard Rose hiss from upstairs. That had to have pissed her off; I'd never be able to hear her unless she was purposefully loud.

My frown deepened. "Don't," I told him sternly. "Rose…understands."

She was the only one that really understood anything at all. Because she was the only one that felt the same way about the baby as I did. I had the full support of Esme and Emmett and partial support from everyone else, but Rose was really the only one that knew just what to say and do at any given time. I didn't like Jake attacking her; he had no idea how much she'd done for me.

He didn't look like he cared at all. "Yeah," he spat. "She understands that you're gonna die and she doesn't care, s'long as she gets her mutant spawn out of the deal."

I glared at him, narrowing my eyes in an attempt to look threatening. "Stop being a jerk, Jacob."

He looked like he was trying to decide to laugh or scowl, but eventually he smiled and said, "You say that like it's possible."

I didn't want to smile back, I was still angry, but I couldn't help it. My lips twitched and then pulled up into an amused grin. But then it faded and a tight knot formed in the pit of my stomach.

Carlisle and Rose were back, standing across the room from us. He held a white plastic cup in his hand, one with a lid and a straw – something I was very grateful for – and gazed at me with a troubled expression. I gulped, my eyes fixed on the cup. I was scared.

He could tell right away. "We could always try another method," he offered quietly.

"No." I shook my head, despite the fact that my pulse was hammering through the roof by this point. "No, I'll try this first. We don't have time…"

I slowly brushed my hand across my stomach and extended my other hand toward him. He walked up to me and placed it gently in my grasp, being careful not to slosh it too much. I could still hear it though. Blood. Thick, dark, scarlet blood. Human blood. From a body like mine…possibly from someone I knew. I closed my eyes and winced; worried I would throw up if I couldn't control my thoughts. Just have to ignore it…pretend it's a smoothie or something.

I tried to prop myself up on my elbow, but found I was too weak. Before I could open my mouth to ask, Rosalie was behind me, supporting my head and shoulders and helping me sit upright.

I shot her a small, tense smile. "Thanks."

I looked around the room. All eyes were on me, waiting for me to take the first sip. Despite how ridiculous it seemed, the attention still made me self-conscious. I was glad that Alice, Emm, and Jasper were upstairs, but without them it was still unsettling.

Rose must have sensed my worry, because she murmured, "Don't mind them."

_Them_. She was one of _them_, at this particular moment. I internally sighed.

Taking her advice, nonetheless, I slowly lifted the heavy cup to my face and sniffed at the thick straw sticking up from the lid. I was surprised by the intoxicating aroma that greeted my nose, and flinched back, a staggered expression on my face. It smelled _good._

"Bella," Edward soothed, taking my reaction the wrong way, "sweetheart, we can find an easier way." He reached out to take the cup from me, relief and understanding flooding his eyes.

"Plug your nose," Rosalie suggested before I could answer. She glared at Edward's hand like she wanted to bite it. I would have scolded her for it, but I was too shocked to think straight.

"No, that's not it," I murmured, lightly shaking my head. I held the cup tightly, shifting it minutely closer to me. I took a deep breath, unwilling to admit my frightening discovery. "It's just that it – It smells good."

Edward and Jake looked surprised, and also like they might potentially be sick, if that were possible for the former. Carlisle and Esme's faces didn't change; they were very good at masking things. Rosalie, of course, looked about ready to burst with excitement. Her smile widened even further as she encouraged me to drink. Despite being drawn to it, it was still blood, and I was still hesitant.

"That's a good thing," she told me, noticing my traumatized expression. "That means we're on the right track. Give it a try." She nodded eagerly, tapping the plastic once.

Without allowing myself the chance to really think about what I was doing, I shoved the straw between my lips and squeezed my eyes shut. The smell was stronger, warm and inviting, and I wrinkled my nose against my animalistic response. My hand was shaking, and I could hear the blood swish back and forth against its plastic confines as I deliberately sucked in. A light flood of the liquid traveled up the straw and flowed into my mouth. It was warm and silky, slightly colder than room-temperature, but the burning sensation it created heated my skin. It streamed over my tongue and slipped down my throat like smooth glass when I swallowed. An involuntary moan escaped my lips. I wanted _more._

I felt a cold hand on my face, stroking my cheek. Edward.

"Bella, love-" he began.

"I'm okay," I whispered, opening my eyes. And I was okay. Physically. No pain, just thirst for more blood. Disgusting. I looked up at him guiltily, mortified by my uncontrollable desire. And scared, I was so scared by it. What did this mean?

I chewed my lip softly. I didn't want to tell him, but I needed him to forgive me for it. I touched the straw, running my finger around the edge. "It _tastes_ good, too."

Jacob's teeth ground together with a loud snap. I glanced at him for a brief second, and it looked like his hands were clenched behind his back. Poor Jake. He really shouldn't be here.

"That's good," Rose said, filling in when Edward didn't respond. "A good sign."

I didn't bother to spare her a glance. I focused on the careful way Edward was pressing his hand against my face, delicately curling his fingers around the shape of my cheekbones and skin. I figured this was his way of telling me that it was all right. I had nothing to feel sorry for.

I sighed as I brought the cup back to my lips, really taking a deep long sip this time. I didn't know where the sudden strength came from; it was almost like I couldn't control how much I took, and how much I just wanted it more and more. Maybe this _was_ working.

"How's your stomach?" Carlisle asked when I stopped for a second. "Do you feel nauseated?"

I shook my head, slightly surprised. "No, I don't feel sick." That was a new thought. It made me happy. "That's a first, eh?"

Rose clapped her hands together. "Excellent."

"I think it's a bit early for that, Rose," Carlisle murmured, giving her a meaningful look. She disregarded his negativity and silently pleaded for me to continue.

I complied, taking another deep gulp. I smiled blissfully at the feeling of content that filled me, the first time I'd truly felt relaxed in ages. But then I remembered a crucial fact. I glanced up at Edward with a worried expression. "Does this screw my total?" I asked him. "Or do we start counting _after_ I'm a vampire?"

He gave me a small smile in return, instantly easing the frantic direction my thoughts were headed. It didn't touch his eyes though, something that probably should have concerned me. "No one is counting, Bella," he assured me gently. "In any case, no one died for this. Your record is still clean."

I nodded once. Good; I hadn't ruined my chances before they even began.

I heard him murmur something else, but it was so low that I couldn't understand.

"What?"

His lips twitched. "Just talking to myself."

I frowned, but went back to drinking. My mind began to wander as I unconsciously swallowed ounce after ounce of blood. My eyes drifted to the large window in the front, producing the only light in the room. It was the middle of the day so all the electric lights were off – not that the Cullens needed them anyway – and the pure glass wall behind me had been covered during the night to provide me extra protection.

Edward snickered suddenly, instantly drawing my attention back to him. I hadn't heard him laugh in days. He gave me smiles and chuckles, but never with any lightness or humor. I could hear the amusement in his tone now. It made me smile.

"Something funny?" I asked.

"Jacob," he answered.

I looked over at the wolf still standing the furthest from me, a patient expression on his face. I smiled wearily at him. "Jake's a crack-up."

He rolled his eyes. "Bada _bing."_

I smiled again and took another sip. There was nothing left; cold air rushed through the straw and greeted me, surprising me. Had I already drank the whole thing? I remembered how heavy it had been when Carlisle had first handed it to me.

I looked up at him, pleased by my success. "I did it." I grinned and Rose returned the smile, and Carlisle's lips turned up slightly at the edges. "If I keep this down, Carlisle, will you take the needles out of me?" _Please say yes._

He nodded once. "As soon as possible. Honestly, they aren't doing that much good where they are."

Rose placed her hand on my forehead, patting it lightly. I glanced up at her with hopeful eyes, and she smiled.

I wondered if I looked any better; I could already feel the difference. The blood had given me strength, and I didn't feel so cold anymore. My voice was a bit evener when I spoke, still just a pathetic whisper, but not a cracked one. Everything accelerated.

I caught Edward's eye and he smiled. This time it reached his eyes, and I could see the pure hope in them, just like everyone else's. He never allowed himself to hope unless he knew there was a chance. This was a big step.

"Would you like more?" Rose asked me, eyeing my empty cup.

Automatically, my shoulders slumped. I _did_ want it. I felt as if I could just drink it for hours and I would never be fully satisfied. Huh. I guess I was already becoming a vampire; a premature vampire, at that.

Edward glared at her, the hope momentarily dashed by a spark of anger. He frowned before turning back to me, his expression instantly lightening. "You don't have to drink anymore right away."

"Yeah, I know," I said glumly. "But…I _want_ to."

Rosalie ran her fingers through my hair, pulling gently at the roots in a soothing manner. "You don't need to be embarrassed about that, Bella," she assured me. "Your body has cravings. We all understand that." Her voice suddenly dropped, and it was full of spite as she added, "Anyone who doesn't understand shouldn't be here."

I saw her eyes flicker to Jake, and I sighed. Why couldn't she just leave him alone? I'd told him he could stay if he wanted to.

Carlisle came forward and gently pried the cup from my fingers. "I'll be right back," he promised, before disappearing up the staircase. My eyes never moved from Jake. He looked absolutely exhausted; like he hadn't slept in days. There were dark heavy circles under his eyes, similar to the ones currently marring Edward's eyes, but for a different reason. I wouldn't have been surprised if he'd suddenly keeled over and passed out from sleep deprivation.

He noticed my worried expression and frowned, swaying a bit.

"Jake, you look awful," I told him, frowning myself.

He rolled his eyes. "Look who's talking."

I disregarded his comment. "Seriously - when's the last time you slept?"

He opened his mouth to answer, but then hesitated and pursed his lips. I waited a minute while he thought. "Huh. I'm not actually sure."

He couldn't even remember?! "Aw, Jake," I moaned, instantly overwhelmed with fresh guilt. "Now I'm messing with your health, too. Don't be stupid."

He gritted his teeth, narrowing his eyes at my statement. _Don't be stupid_. That's what he'd been telling _me_ over and over.

"Get some sleep, please," I continued, ignoring his irritation. "There's a few beds upstairs – you're welcome to any of them."

His gaze flashed to Rosalie, and his frown grew more pronounced. I didn't want to think about the look she must be giving him; probably a warning. I realized that she wouldn't want him anywhere near her bedroom, or any of the beds for that matter. He seemed to catch on, too.

"Thanks, Bells, but I'd rather sleep on the ground," he shrugged. "Away from the stench, you know."

I grimaced. "Right." Forgot about that part.

Carlisle returned then, and I stretched out my hand to take the cup from him. He handed it to me carefully, and I started absentmindedly sucking the fresh blood down. Just as smooth and silky as before. Alarming, but good.

I tried to raise myself back to a sitting position, and was surprised to find I could do it without any help. Rose kept her hands right behind me, ready to catch me if I fell, but I didn't. I smiled as I continued to drink, and soon I'd finished the entire cup. Ready for a third.

"How do you feel now?" Carlisle asked me gently, taking the empty cup from my hand.

"Not sick." I smiled again, pleased by the mere thought. "Sort of hungry…only I'm not sure if I'm hungry or _thirsty_, you know?"

"Carlisle, just look at her," Rose murmured smugly, a pronounced smirk curving her lips. I had no idea what I looked like, but from her reaction, I seemed to look better…healthier. What a thought. "This is obviously what her body wants. She should drink more."

"She's still human, Rosalie," he calmly explained to her. "She needs food, too. Let's give her a little while to see how this affects her, and then maybe we can try some food again. Does anything sound particularly good to you, Bella?"

"Eggs." The answer was automatic; I didn't even have to think about it. I glanced up at Edward and grinned, and he gave me a small smile in return.

His attention suddenly switched to Jake, who looked about ready to collapse.

"Jacob," he murmured. "You really should sleep. As Bella said, you're certainly welcome to the accommodations here, though you'd probably be more comfortable outside. Don't worry about anything – I promise I'll find you if there's a need."

Jake looked relieved, though I could see he tried to hide it. "Sure, sure," he mumbled.

Edward nodded once, a knowing look crossing his face. "I do."

I blinked, momentarily confused, but then I realized he was probably just responding to something in Jake's mind. I sighed as he turned back to me with a subdued grimace.

Jake came up to me and placed his hand on mine. His felt like a warm fire, comforting and cordial. Mine had to feel like pure ice.

"Feel better," he ordered softly.

I squeezed his hand. "Thanks, Jacob."

He held my gaze for another moment before turning and heading for the door. He cast Edward a final glance and muttered, "Get her a blanket or something."

I was about to protest when two sharp howls suddenly pierced the air outside. My breath caught as I heard the warning and urgency in them, and my heart started thrumming at a rapid pace. What was happening?

"Dammit," Jake snarled, disappearing through the door in a flash. I heard the familiar sound of his clothes tearing as he morphed, and the heavy pounding of long powerful limbs as he ran into the trees and chased down Seth and Leah. I bit my lip and looked up at Edward with a panicked expression.

He returned it calmly, and ran a smooth hand through my hair, trying to relax me.

"Don't worry, Bella," he murmured. "Jacob will take care of everything, or as much as he can. We don't know what's happened, so you shouldn't worry until we have confident reason to. Hmm?"

I nodded once, still tense. He leaned down at kissed my forehead, smoothing the infamous crevice with his thumb. I sighed.

"Did you hear _anything?"_ I asked him.

He shook his head. "Seth and Leah are too far away, and Jacob was too far by the time whatever information they had would have reached him."

"Oh."

Rose glanced down at me, and then turned back to Carlisle. "Carlisle, are you sure that-"

"Rosalie, leave her alone," Edward snapped. "Bella doesn't need any more blood right now. Accept that and stop complaining like a child."

She glared at him, pouting her full lips and abruptly turning her back to him. He rolled his eyes and chuckled quietly.

"I'll be right back," he murmured to me, giving my hand a gentle squeeze before he let it go and began walking toward the stairs.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"Jacob," he said simply. "He'll need some clothes when he gets back."

"Oh." I felt my face redden slightly. "Right."

He chuckled again and disappeared. I looked at Carlisle meaningfully, and he sighed.

"Right now, Bella?"

"Please?"

He gave another exhausted sigh but couldn't refrain from laughing lightly. I smiled as he walked to my side and began fiddling with the monitor controlling several of my tubes, eventually reaching the point where he could stop them. "All right," he murmured. "Give me your arm."

I extended it out to him, and he unwrapped the heavy tape securing the needles to my flesh, and then proceeded to pull the needles themselves out. He took all but the IV out, and when I asked, he told me that that one had to stay. Of course; the one that I minded the most. But I wasn't complaining. The less needles, the better.

"I think we can move you back to the couch, too," Carlisle mused, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Would that be all right with you, Bella?"

I nodded. "Yes, please."

He grinned. "Sorry for all the readjustments. It has to be getting irksome."

I smiled back. "It's fine. Anything that means I'm better; I'm not complaining."

Esme spoke quietly from behind me, where she had settled herself in a chair. "I'm going to go upstairs and see if Edward needs help. And I'm curious about the discussion upstairs; Alice is making some interesting points."

He nodded. "Very well."

She touched his arm lightly as she passed by, and gave me a small smile. "I'm glad you're feeling better, sweetheart. Hopefully we can keep it that way."

"We'll see," I answered.

"But I have a good feeling about this," Rose smiled, coming up and twisting her fingers through my hair. "Don't be so negative."

I rolled my eyes. "Sure, sure." I knew I'd started picking that phrase up from Jake, but this was one of the first times I'd noticed using it. My smile widened a bit.

A few minutes after Esme left, Jasper and Emmett came downstairs. They both smiled at me as they stopped in front of Carlisle.

"Edward and Alice sent us down to help with the bed," Emm told him. "Now they and Esme are engaged in a deep and imperative conversation." He shook his head, laughing heartily.

"Good," Rosalie said coolly, her smile turning icy. "That means that Edward won't be coming back down to bother us."

There was a loud growl from upstairs; of course he'd heard her. I sighed. Their arguments were about as true and malicious to a brother and sister's as possible. It was starting to become quite annoying.

"Are we pulling the couch back out?" Jasper asked, changing the subject back to its original purpose. I shot him a grateful smile.

Carlisle nodded. "Yes. I believe Bella's strong enough for it, and I know she's probably dying to get out of the hospital trap."

I shrugged. "Not _dying_, per se. Whatever works."

"I'll do it," Emmett grinned.

Rose rolled her eyes. "Of course you would. Any chance to show off your muscles, macho."

He winked at her. "Yeah, but you love me for it. Don't ya, babe?"

She smiled. "Yes."

"Okay, then, get moving," Jasper said, giving him a light shove. "You'll have all eternity to talk."

"Touchy," Emm teased, but complied with his command. He sauntered over to my side and grinned down at me. "Hey Bella, how're you doing?"

I smiled back. "Good."

"We heard you from upstairs. Like blood now, do you?"

My smile turned withering. "Yes, very much so."

He laughed. "Well then let's get you out of here so you can drink some more."

I shook my head as he motioned Jasper over, Rose still behind me to help me up.

"I'll take her, Rosalie," Jasper told her, and she scowled, but nodded. His hands replaced hers, and he gave me a shy smile as he pressed them gently to my back. "Hey, Bella."

"Hi Jasper." I instantly felt relaxed and drowsy, a living ragdoll under his touch.

"Sorry, do you mind?"

"Not at all," I assured him.

He smiled again as he leaned forward and I wrapped my arms around his neck so he could lift me easily.

He adjusted his hands to support me firmly, and slowly raised me from the bed, backing up to allow Emmett space. He and Rose quickly collapsed the metal sides and folded it up, and she pushed it off to the side as he grabbed the couch with one hand and centered it back on the floor. I held tighter to Jasper as they threw additional pillows and blankets on the cushions, fluffing them up like a second, and much more comfortable bed.

When it was ready, he laid me down on the center and started bundling me up as Carlisle reattached my IV. He'd had to disconnect it momentarily to allow me to leave the bed and be transported, and I sighed as it was tied back into place.

"Lift your feet, please," Jasper instructed, and I obeyed, still perfectly relaxed as he wrapped me up like a burrito under a heavy layer of blankets. When he was satisfied with his work, he stepped back to survey me carefully. I raised my eyebrows at his serious expression.

He grinned. "Edward asked me to take care of you for the moment."

"Ah."

He shrugged meekly. "Sorry."

I laughed lightly. "No worries. And thanks; you really didn't need to."

"That's what family is for."

I gave him a wide smile. "And I'm definitely the luckiest girl in the world when it comes to family."

"We're just happy to help," he told me softly. "We love you, Bella. You gave Edward life. You rekindled his broken spirit and heart; that's more than enough to earn you our highest regards."

"Yeah, Bella," Emmett said, coming up and throwing his arm over Jasper's shoulder. "What he said. We're really glad to have you as a little sister."

I blushed slightly, still not recovered enough to full-on flush. "Well, thanks. I'm glad to have you guys, too. I've always wanted siblings."

"Yeah, how can you have lived your whole life as an only child?!" Emm exclaimed. "I would have never survived. Even as a human I had two brothers and a sister."

I shrugged. "You just learn to work with what you're given."

"Still…" he muttered, shaking his head. "I still pity you for that. But not anymore!"

Rose rolled her eyes and reached over to smack him in the arm.

"Ouch, babe! You got a strong arm," he laughed, pretending to clutch his arm like it hurt terribly.

She growled and plopped down on the couch next to me, crossing her arms.

"You're the one that chose him," I reminded her.

She nodded once and gave me a dry smile. "That's true."

"Ouch," he said, making a wounded face. "Now that really hurt."

"Nothing like a hit to the ego to remind you where you stand, eh?"

We all looked up as Edward walked down the stairs, smiling. He darted over to me and took the unoccupied spot on my left, collapsing back into the cushions. I laughed as he leaned over and kissed my forehead, beginning to laugh himself.

"My wife is tough, Emm," he said, winking. "Remember that."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he mumbled.

Jasper laughed softly. "Well, this has been nice, but I'm going to go back upstairs. I don't want to leave Alice."

"Good idea," Emmett followed. "Er…Esme might need something."

Edward grinned. "Just get out of here then, if you want to. Leave us in peace."

"Can do," he answered. "Ciao!"

We watched as they both ran for the stairs, wrestling each other to get to the top. Rose ignored them, and as they crashed into a wall on the second floor, I heard Esme sharply scold, "Be careful, and stop wrestling in the house!"

We all laughed at that. And even though the motion caused me pain, I tried to ignore it. We were in a celebratory mood. I was improving; a miracle. As I'd thought, we'd see how long it lasted. But for now, I was content to just lie on the couch and smile, surrounded by my loving family.

* * *

(A/N:) Long overdue...as usual. Sorry 'bout that. Just been busy lately with the school year wrapping up, and my cat had her kittens last week [5!] so my hands are a bit full with them, too =] Two weeks until summer break!!! Haha you have no idea how happy that makes me.

I don't know if I overdid the bubbliness on the end of this one, but I just felt there was too much tension and everyone deserved a break, you know? As we all know, things just continue to get worse...but then again, as we all know, everything works out in the end. I tried to incorporate all the Cullens into this one, because I know a few people felt that Emm and Jazz's presence was sorely lacking. Sorry 'bout that. But I worked them in to this one!!! Please tell me what you think!!! Reviews make my day so much happier! Thanks! =]

--Steph


	8. Sacrifice

15. SACRIFICE

Jake came back about an hour later. I didn't see him, but Edward told me he was right outside, still in wolf form. His posture visibly relaxed as he spoke, and I glanced up at him with my eyebrows raised.

"No one's coming," he informed me, smiling briefly. "It was just Jared and a few of the others; they just needed to talk to him. Not attack…yet."

"I thought you said not to worry," I reminded him.

"I did," he nodded. "I told _you_ not to worry."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, okay. That makes perfect sense."

"It's my job to protect you," he said quietly. "I'm allowed to overreact if it keeps you safe."

"No, that's my job," Rose said from behind us. I stifled a laugh as Edward turned to glare at her and she smacked him in the shoulder.

"I'm her husband," Edward seethed, rubbing the spot where she'd hit.

"And I'm her bodyguard," she huffed, crossing her arms. "_And _her sister."

"And I don't want you two fighting anymore," I interjected before yet another battle could ensue. I swear, their relationship was an exhausting never-ending war. "You can just leave me alone and I'll protect myself."

Edward sighed and Rosalie fixed her glare at me.

"Don't be stupid," she snapped. "You wouldn't be safe from a mouse."

"She wouldn't be safe from a dead cricket, Rose," he lamented, earning a sour look from me. He smiled, reaching out and lightly touching my nose. "It's true you know. But you'll be indestructible soon enough…if things go according to plan."

I frowned as his smile faltered at the end. "Don't be so pessimistic, Edward," I told him. "I'll be fine and you know it."

He opened his mouth to respond, but thought better of it and leaned back against the couch, remaining silent. He lifted my feet, still bundled in a blanket, onto his lap and gave me a tight grin. I knew he was trying. He was trying not to panic, for my sake. But I knew it wasn't working very well. I sighed as Rose came around and plopped down on the floor in front of me, near my head. We all sat in silence as we waited for Jake to come in. I knew he'd left to put on the clothes Edward had left out for him, but he'd be back any second.

A moderately loud noise from the TV made me jump slightly. Edward laughed quietly at my frightened expression before I realized where it had come from. About thirty minutes ago, Alice had come downstairs insisting that I watch a movie for lack of anything better to do. I denied the offer, but she wasn't deterred in the slightest as she stuck _Legally Blonde _in the machine and started it for me. I knew it was one of her favorites, but she'd been spending increasingly less time with me the past few days, so I wasn't that surprised when she left after making sure that I was watching. Of course, I turned my attention back to Edward the moment she was out of sight.

Esme had come down soon after, and she and Carlisle had been sitting in the back of the room since then, talking quietly. I couldn't understand their conversation, but Edward had said it wasn't to be fretted over. Just more trivial details and medical insignificance.

I took another sip from the cup in my hands, moaning slightly at the taste. After twenty or so minutes without a refill, Rose had finally managed to break Carlisle and he'd gotten me another glass of the scarlet blood. The taste was still delicious, and addictive. This had to be at least my fifth cup.

"Still taste all right, love?" Edward murmured as he watched me swallow another mouthful.

I nodded. "More than all right."

Rose's smug grin grew more pronounced across her full lips, and I could almost hear her thinking, _I win_. Edward shot her a pointed glance, and she flipped him off. I sighed again.

He suddenly looked toward the front of the room, and my eyes followed his movement as Jacob staggered inside. The poor thing looked like he was about to collapse, but I couldn't deny that I was happy to see him. Selfishly so; I didn't know what was wrong with me, but I got a fresh wave of energy every time he was near.

I gave him a huge smile as he came closer, thrilled to see him back unscathed. He raised his eyebrows slightly, looking at me warily. I ignored his hesitance and allowed my smile to widen. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Edward frowning at me, but I ignored him, too.

"They just wanted to talk," Jacob mumbled to him distractedly, fighting a yawn. "No attack on the horizon."

"Yes," Edward answered, "I heard most of it."

He looked startled for a moment before he could regain his composure. I didn't understand what was so odd about the statement, but then I remembered what Edward had said about losing Jake's 'voice' once he was a certain distance away. "How?"

"I'm hearing you more clearly – it's a matter of familiarity and concentration," he replied shortly. "Also, your thoughts are slightly easier to pick up when you're in your human form. So I caught most of what passed out there."

"Oh." He frowned, the expression exaggerated by his drowsiness. "Good. I hate repeating myself."

"I'd tell you to get some sleep," I told him, "but my guess is that you're going to pass out on the floor in about six seconds, so there's probably no point."

He stared at me for a few seconds before frowning again and heading for the door, muttering as he walking. "One Mississippi…two Mississippi…"

"Where's the flood, mutt?" Rose hissed.

"You know how you drown a blonde, Rosalie?" he asked without stopping or turning around. "Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool."

Edward chuckled quietly and I fought to bite back my own round of laughter as Jake pulled the door shut and disappeared from view.

"I've already heard that one," she spat after him.

I shifted slightly under my mass of blankets as I handed my empty cup to her, and was about to resettle when Edward suddenly moved my feet and stood up.

"Where are you going?" I asked him.

"There was something I forgot to say to him."

I shook my head, reaching up to grasp his hand firmly. "Let Jacob sleep – it can wait."

He lightly shook my hand off, giving me an apologetic look. "It will only take a moment."

I tried to reach for him again, but he was gone before I had the chance. Rosalie scowled next to me, standing up and glaring angrily out the front door.

"What is it?" I asked her. "What are they saying?"

"Edward is offering the wolves hospitality," Esme answered instead. "I asked him to talk to them about using our home as a place to stay and eat if they ever need it."

"Oh," I said, surprised. "Wow. That's really nice, Esme. Thanks."

"Yeah, but like they'd ever accept our _generosity_," Rose scoffed. "Good thing they don't, though. The minute one of them comes near my room is the last time they'll remember walking on four legs."

"Rosalie."

"It's true, Esme," she defended. "We're not their babysitters. Our house is not a hotel. They can find shelter somewhere else."

I lifted my head up so I could see behind the couch. Esme was giving Rose a look that fell somewhere between hurt and infuriated, and Rose was simply sulking. Honestly, I loved her, and I was eternally grateful to her for watching over me so carefully, but she really needed to learn how to grow up. She and Edward both; their arguments were growing repetitive and obnoxious. And now _she _was hurting Esme.

"Esme, don't listen to her," I sighed, ignoring Rose's shocked expression. "She doesn't know what she's talking about. I'm glad you care that much about Jake and the rest of his pack. I don't know if they'll want to stay here, but the offer was very thoughtful."

Her face softened at my sincerity, and she nodded once. "Thank you, Bella."

I smiled and turned back, but the moment of contentment was quickly shattered by a sudden and acute pain in my side as my nudger gave a sharp kick. It shot through my limbs and engulfed my entire body in a dull but powerful throbbing. I screamed in agony before I could clamp my mouth shut. Something was broken. I could feel it.

Edward burst through the door in that instant, dropping down by my side and cursing quietly as he watched me fall to pieces. Rose jumped up onto the couch and pulled me into her lap as I curled myself into a tight ball, squeezing my eyes shut as Carlisle and Esme rushed to me.

"Give me a second, Carlisle," I managed to stutter, beginning to pant.

"Bella," he said anxiously, all traces of patience gone, "I heard something crack. I need to take a look."

I opened my eye again and saw Jake standing in the doorway, looking at me in exhausted horror. I quickly glanced back to Carlisle, nodding.

"Pretty sure it was a rib," I panted. I sharply inhaled a deep breath of air, causing my side to burn ravenously. "Ow. Yep. Right here." I pointed to my left side, where I could feel the stabbing of a bone pressing against my skin.

He eyed the spot I had indicated, but shook his head. "I need to take an X-ray. There might be splinters. We don't want it to puncture anything."

I took another deep breath. He was right. But an X-ray? Urrg. "Okay."

Rosalie gently lifted me from the couch, keeping me pressed securely against her as she supported me. She took a step for the stairs, and Edward reached out to stop her. I was about to tell him it was all right, but Rose beat me to it.

"I've already got her," she growled, baring her teeth at him. Yup. Just like immature siblings.

She swiftly carried me up the staircase, the other three following close behind. We passed Alice on the top landing, and she gave me a small, grudging smile. She'd told me about the headaches, so I wasn't upset that she was avoiding me. I returned the smile as best as I could before I was swept away into a large room at the end of the hallway.

I'd never been in the medical room before. It looked exactly like a hospital; like an ER operating room. A bit scary, but I assured myself that this was the Cullen house, and Carlisle was my doctor. I'd just had a few bad experiences in ERs before. Pain. And blood. And needles. Many many needles.

"Set her right there," Carlisle instructed Rose, pointing to the table in the middle of the room. She complied wordlessly, gently laying me down so I could lie flat on my back. The throbbing of my side continued ruthlessly, but the cool metal of the table eased the burn slightly. I turned my head to press my cheek to the surface, closing my eyes as the icy temperature hit my skin.

"Bella, can you look here for me?" Carlisle asked softly, as someone took my hand carefully in their own. I looked up and Edward stared down at me, a half-hearted smile on his lips. I glanced around him and met the doctor's eyes, and he motioned for me to look straight ahead and remain as still as I could manage.

My heart jumped as I noticed the large machine towering over me, and I fought back a shiver as it turned on, making a sickening humming sound.

"This will only take a minute," Carlisle assured me. "I promise."

I nodded as he leaned over the table to adjust the heavy metal beam casting a shadow across my face. He fixed it until the light was positioned directly above my chest and stomach, and Edward gave my hand a light squeeze.

"I know you hate these things," he sighed.

"I'm used to them," I replied dryly. "Before I had you to save me, I used to fall out of trees and break my arms. When I was eight I even tripped on the sidewalk and somehow managed to fracture my leg. I've always been a walking disaster, you know."

He shook his head and chuckled once. "Yes, I know."

He took his other hand and pulled my sweatshirt up to my bra, leaving my battered stomach exposed. He sighed again, this time without trying to mask his sadness. I cringed slightly.

"Okay Bella, please hold still for me," Carlisle instructed. "And if you could hold your breath for a few seconds?"

I obeyed his requests, and just as promised, it was over before I could count to ten. He then taped my side up so I could hardly feel any pain. Edward carefully pulled me into his arms, after a severe warning from Carlisle that I had broken bones and needed to be handled even more delicately than usual, and carried me back downstairs with Rose following suit.

"Ow," I mumbled as my nudger gave the lightest possible kick.

Edward paused halfway down the stairs, staring at me urgently until I told him not to stop. As soon as his feet hit the ground floor he walked to the couch, moving much slower than usual, and Rose darted into the kitchen, gone before I could blink.

"How long do you think it will take for the X-ray to be developed?" I asked as he began wrapping me back up in the blanket. I sat up this time, though. I was tired of lying around.

"Not too long," he answered. "Less than an hour for sure."

I nodded as something in the back corner caught my attention. When I realized what, or rather, who it was, I had to clamp my hand over my mouth to keep from breaking into a fit of giggles. Jake was fast asleep, awkwardly pressed against the wall with his long limbs folded in on each other, and Alice was curled up next to him, leaning against his shoulder with her eyes closed. Her thin arms gripped her crisscrossed legs, and her face was slightly pinched up, but for the most part, entirely relaxed. It was the cutest thing ever.

I snickered quietly, drawing Edward's attention. I nodded my head toward the sleeping beauties in the back, and his mouth dropped open when he saw them. I couldn't quite tell if he was more disgusted or amused. He shook his head lightly. "Dear god…"

"I can hear you, you know," Alice murmured, opening one eye and glaring at us with a withering expression.

"Yes, we realize."

"What's all the commotion for?" Rose snapped as she entered the room, carrying my white cup, now freshly filled with blood. That girl just wouldn't take no for an answer.

She stopped as she noticed Alice and Jacob, giving the former a sharp growl. "Alice, what the hell are you doing? Get up."

"No thank you," she replied brusquely, already in a bad mood. "I actually don't have a mind-splitting headache for once, and I'd like to keep it that way."

"You look like an idiot, and now you're going to stink. Get up, before I drag you away myself," Rosalie seethed.

"Piss off," Alice hissed, flipping her off. Ah, sisterly love.

Rose huffed as she turned her back on the tiny pixie and walked over to me.

"Here," she said, practically shoving the cup into my hands. The blood sloshed noisily inside, and if the lid weren't on it would have spilled all over me.

"Gentle," Edward growled, glaring at her.

She rolled her eyes and stormed off to the staircase, disappearing to her room most likely.

"I'm sorry about your headaches, Alice," I called to her, knowing she could hear me perfectly well if I kept my voice down.

She sighed, the anger vanishing from her lithe figure as she nodded and stretched out her arms. "I know, Bella. It's not your fault. I'm sorry for being so rude."

"It's not your fault either," I told her, and she smiled a little.

I took a deep drink from my cup, instantly feeling stronger as the rich liquid slipped down my throat. Edward watched me, as always, never tearing his eyes from my lips as the blood stained them a shocking crimson.

"I'm going to get Jacob a pillow," Alice announced as she rose to her feet, flitting up the stairs to retrieve one.

Edward and I both laughed as we heard Rosalie purposefully shout, "Oh, so _now_ you decide to get up!"

"Do you think that's enough blood for tonight?," he asked me, taking my hand and twining his fingers with mine. I gulped down the last of my drink, and placed the empty cup on the small table beside the couch.

"Yeah, I guess. Maybe one more later if I really need it."

He opened his mouth like he was about to say something, but closed it as Esme suddenly came rushing down the stairs, holding a phone to her ear.

"Yes, she's right here," she answered whoever was on the other end of the line. "I'm handing her the phone right now."

I gave her a confused look as she passed the silver cell phone to me. She mouthed 'you mother' and I quickly pressed the receiver to my ear. I hadn't talked to my mom since the wedding. Carlisle hadn't allowed me to talk to her when she'd called a few weeks ago, much to my annoyance, but I understood why it was necessary.

"Hello?" I breathed.

"Bella?"

"Yeah, Mom. It's me."

I waited for the explosion to come, and come it did.

"Oh, Bella!" she exclaimed excitedly. "It's so wonderful to hear your voice after all these days! How are you feeling? Are you still quarantined? Esme wouldn't say much, but her tone worried me. Are you going to be okay? Is Edward taking good care of you? And Carlisle? He is a doctor, after all. But Edward's your husband so I'd expect him to be providing the most attention. Oh, I still can't believe that you're married! But I shouldn't be going on about that, we'll have plenty of time to discuss everything once you're better. You will get better soon, won't you? Bella?"

"Slow down," I mumbled, sighing. "One question at a time, Mom. My brain only works so fast, you know."

She laughed at my snide comment, and Edward chuckled quietly beside me. I knew he could hear everything Renee was saying. I vaguely noticed Alice flounce down the stairs, large fluffy pillow in tow, and give me a wink. I smiled back at her as she fluffed it up a few times before sliding it under Jake's massive, and now snoring, head. I rolled my eyes as she sat down by him again, keeping a few feet away, but close enough so that her head wouldn't bother her.

"Fine, Bella. I'm sorry, I'm just so worried," my mom apologized, still sounded frenzied.

"No, I know, Mom. It's fine."

"Well…are you going to be okay?"

I didn't miss the look Edward gave me, one that clearly said, _be careful what you tell her._ I nodded, knowing he wasn't going to like what I was about to say, but knowing that I needed to somehow placate my hectic, impulsive mother.

"Umm…yeah," I said cautiously. "I'm going to be absolutely fine. I'm still pretty sick right now, but I'm getting better."

As expected, Edward's eyes widened and his expression was a mix between outrage and disbelief. I pressed my finger to my lips to shush him before he could yell something at me, and tried to hear Renee's response.

"Oh, sweetie, that's wonderful! I'm so relieved, I was afraid you'd be locked in a hospital forever or something terrible like that."

I cringed slightly at the visuals her suggestion painted. I hated hospitals, as my new family had come to learn very well.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. No need to worry." I nodded as Esme extended her hand, ready to take the phone back. This conversation was already getting dodgy, and I knew Edward would be furious with me if I continued fueling my own mom's health and stability with unsteady promises of _my_ health. "Umm…I think Esme wants to talk to you again."

"Okay, sweet pea, it was wonderful hearing from you. I love you! Remember to call again!"

"Yeah, definitely," I said firmly. _That_ was a promise I could keep.

"And tell Edward hi for me," she finished. "Make sure he keeps watching out for you!"

"Okay Mom, I love you, too. Bye."

Esme took the phone from my grasp, quickly heading back to the staircase to retreat from the tension downstairs. "Hi again Renee…yeah, Bella's been doing great, she's so tolerant, and Carlisle's been giving her very good medicine…"

I listened until I couldn't hear her voice anymore, and then I turned unwillingly to Edward. His jaw was locked, clenched tightly together, and his eyes were narrowed to a razor sharp glare.

"Are you out of your mind?!" he yelled, causing me to recoil back.

"I just don't want her to worry," I defended myself.

"But now she'll have expectations! And what if you don't get better?!"

I huffed. "Oh, you mean, what if I die?"

He paled slightly at the word, shuddering himself. "No, I just mean…"

"Edward, she's my mom. She's _Renee_. You've met her," I sighed. "You know how she is. Honestly, if I told her the truth, she'd be on the next plane here and refuse to leave until I was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and dancing around singing Christmas carols like it was the best day of my life."

Alice's soprano laughter trilled through the air at my vivid description. I shot her a pointed look, and she fell silent, but remained shaking in her quiet mirth. I sighed in exasperation, and when I turned back to Edward, he was repentant.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," he murmured, truly looking agonized by it.

"Don't be," I said, taking his hand. "You didn't understand."

"Yeah, don't be so melodramatic," Alice added, grinning wickedly.

"Can it, shortie," he snapped. She laughed again.

"Bella, I have your results," Carlisle informed me as he suddenly appeared, striding down the twisting staircase and over to me. He held a manila folder in one hand, sticking the other one in the pocket of the white coat he was still wearing. His eyes looked tense, but at the same time, relieved. I figured whatever news he had was good news. Hallelujah.

"Wow. That was fast," I commented, unable to think of a better reply.

He nodded. "These X-rays don't take very long to develop. Here, take a look."

He opened the folder and pulled out the thin glossy sheet of paper, handing it to me. I had no idea what I was looking for, but I was educated enough to at least identify the break. It was a bit hard to miss.

Edward examined it from over my shoulder, and as I narrowed my eyes to get a closer look at the details, he drew in a sharp breath. "There's no splinters."

Carlisle nodded again. "Yes. We were very fortunate this time. Nothing punctured, or in danger of puncturing. Just a solid break. And that will be healed in a snap once the venom reaches it."

I raised my head to meet his eyes, and the doctor smiled before turning his attention to Edward. "The only thing I'm concerned about is the possibility of the child breaking more bones than she can handle. Her body is incredibly delicate as is, and her strength won't be returning no matter how much blood she drinks."

I frowned a bit, troubled by his words. Edward wore a similar scowl on his face, growling slightly. "What do you mean, more than she can handle?"

Carlisle sighed heavily. "More bones will definitely be shattered. This isn't the end; as the child continues to grow, snapping the exceptionally fragile bone of her ribs and possibly her pelvis seems highly likely, if not absolute."

I let out a low whine, sounding more like a wounded dog. Edward's growl deepened and I felt his hands clench into fists. This news wasn't as fortunate as I'd hoped for. It seemed Fate had decided that she wasn't done with me quite yet. I needed to be tossed around a bit more. Great.

"Try not to worry too much, Bella," he said, taking the X-ray from me and slipping it back into the folder. "We don't know what's going to happen, and I would advise you to both know, but not expect, the worst. Panic won't get us anywhere."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Thanks, Carlisle."

"Anytime, Bella." He smiled briefly again before going back up the stairs to the medical room. I watched his black shoes disappear near the second floor and sighed.

"I'm still worried," I murmured to Edward. I knew Carlisle could still hear me, but he wouldn't say anything.

"I am too."

"Will you both just knock it off!" Alice sighed exasperatedly. "At least for an hour. Look, I'm just as worried, but I don't go around making a huge show of it. This house is literally starting to feel like it houses vampires. Stop being so morbid."

Edward told her to back off, and the two of them argued for a while. I just ignored them, waiting for the matter to solve itself. And thankfully, Esme intervened, saving me. After hissing that they were going to wake Jacob up and keep me from resting, they both fell silent. More for my sake, I guessed, but I would take it either way.

"What else did my mom want?" I asked as she took a seat on the empty couch cushion beside me.

She gently shrugged her shoulders. "Not much. She really just wanted to check in. She misses you so much, you know?" She smiled warmly at me.

I nodded. "Yeah, I know. I miss her too. But she can't see me."

"Of course, dear," she agreed. "No one can, really. It must be so terrible being trapped here all the time."

"Not at all," I replied quickly, seeing the thought troubled her. "I love it here. This is home for me."

Her smile returned. "We're just happy to have you in the family. I couldn't have imagined a lovelier girl marrying my Edward."

"Mom," he complained, embarrassed as she reached over and ruffled his hair.

"You're my first son," she reminded him. "I always wanted the best for you. You were alone far too long."

"Yes, well, that problem is solved," he said gruffly, making me laugh. If he were human, I swear he'd be bright red.

"I certainly hope so," I added.

He rolled his eyes and kissed my nose lightly. "Silly, Bella."

* * *

The rest of the evening passed without incident, and by nightfall I was thoroughly exhausted and ready to crash and burn. As requested, I gulped down one last cup of blood before turning in at around eleven. It left me feeling full and warm, and incredibly drowsy.

For the first night in a few, I made Edward carry me up to his room and let me sleep in the gold bed. It was by far the most comfortable thing in the house, but I really just missed the familiar feeling of Edward's cool body pressed against mine as I slipped into unconsciousness. He always stayed with me when I slept downstairs, but it wasn't the same. My hand remained safe in his gentle but iron grip, but the rest of me longed for the security his arms provided. Tonight I got it back. And I slept better than I had all week.

In the morning when I woke up, it was still before dawn. I opened my mouth and yawned, groaning quietly as black sky greeted me through the undrawn glass wall.

I felt slow, cold breath on the back of my neck, and shivered slightly. Edward chuckled quietly as he buried his head further into the space between my neck and shoulder blade.

"Good morning, beautiful," he breathed.

"Good morning," I answered groggily. He laughed again.

"How do you feel?" he asked me as he littered my bare shoulder with soft kisses. Besides my better judgment, I'd slept in a tank top and sweats, ignoring my thick sweatshirt. I'd just felt so warm, and even with Edward's bare chest pressed against my back, I was still burning. But now I was going to pay for it.

"Actually, I feel a little sick." A _lot_ of sick. I'd barely had time to take a breath before a powerful sneeze threw me into a coughing fit.

"Bella?!"

Before I could blink, he'd jumped out from beneath the covers and grabbed my sweatshirt across the room, bringing it to me. "Put this on," he told me, and I complied between shaky coughs. My forehead was blazing. If I had a fever…I swear on my old truck's dead life I was going to throw a fit.

Edward called for Carlisle, and he came at once, asking what the problem was.

"Bella's sick," he said as he pulled on his white button-up shirt.

"Again?" he sighed.

Edward nodded. "I think it may be a fever this time."

Damn it.

Carlisle rushed over to the side of the bed, staring at me with worried eyes. He placed the back of his hand against my forehead and counted to three before sighing again.

"You're right, son. She definitely has a fever."

Double damn it. I just couldn't catch a break anymore.

"It doesn't feel too severe though; I wouldn't worry. I'm sure it will disappear on its own. I'll give her some medicine, though. Help speed up the recovery."

I sighed in relief. Okay, maybe I was known for jumping the gun a bit too soon. At least Carlisle didn't sound distressed. That _had_ to mean he was telling the truth. Even when trying to disguise something, I always knew when he was lying.

"I'll be okay?"

He laughed lightly and nodded. "I'm sure it will be gone by this afternoon. I've got some pretty magical syrup that'll do the trick."

"She should stay in bed for now, though?" Edward inquired.

Carlisle pursed his lips. "I suppose that would be wise, at least for the next hour or two. But, as long as you keep her wrapped up, she can move downstairs if she would like."

Yes, I would like. "Thanks. That sounds good to me."

He nodded. "I'll be right back. Just let me get that medicine."

He disappeared out the door and was back in an instant, carrying a clear glass of water and a bottle of some reddish liquid that smelled disgustingly like cherry. Blech. Cherry medicine was the worst.

"Now, I'm hoping your body will react and accept this," he murmured as he turned the bottle upside down and poured syrup into the capsule. "It accepted the vitamins, so I don't think this will be a problem."

He handed me the water glass and the cap, moving slowly so he didn't spill anything on the gold comforter. I took a sip of the water before I threw down the medicine, drowning myself with more water once it was down my throat. I still hated cherry, after all these years.

"That terrible?" he sympathized.

I made a gagging sound. "Yes."

"Well, that's all you need for now. I'll give you more in about five hours."

He left then, leaving Edward and I alone in the dimly lit room. I released a small groan as he climbed back onto the bed, sitting in front of my with his legs crossed.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I should have worn a shirt or something last night."

"No," I mumbled, shaking my head. "I'm glad you didn't. I was already dying of the heat last night. I would have driven myself completely insane if you had."

"But you're supposed to feel warm when you're sick," he staid informatively. "You're supposed to sweat. Heat is good. You're supposed to feel uncomfortable. That's the only way you can get better."

"Yeah, yeah, Mr. Stuck-up Certified Doctor," I grumbled. He lightened up at that, and I gave him a small grin.

"It's only because I love you," he stated.

"Oh please. Now you sound like my father."

I laughed at his expression, and he relaxed when he saw I wasn't serious. He leaned forward to kiss my forehead, but jumped back the minute his lips touched my skin.

"Damn, you really are boiling," he said, startled.

I sighed. "Yup. I told you this sweatshirt was going to kill me."

"Too bad. You have to keep it on."

I huffed, crossing my arms over my gigantic stomach. "Fine."

"Good girl." He gave me his crooked smile and winked. "We want to get you better, right?"

"Right," I scowled.

"What was that?"

"Right!" I yelled, startling him again. I laughed as his eyes widened at my sudden outburst.

"I think you need more sleep. You're acting odd."

"Shut up." I pouted, pretending to look hurt.

He rolled his eyes and crawled up next to me, taking me in his arms. "I'm serious. I can't take you down for another hour, so you might as well sleep."

I shook my head. "No. Once I'm up, I'm up for the day."

"Fine, then what do you want to do?"

"Umm…I don't know." I shrugged. "We could talk, I guess."

"You guess?" he teased. "Why? Was there something else on your mind?"

I blushed at the open question. "I guess reading or listening to music."

"What? Not sex?" He sounded so surprised that I almost believed he was serious. Almost.

My blush darkened as I playfully slapped him on the arm. "I'm not _that_ stupid, you know."

He laughed. "Yes, I know. I just wanted to see your reaction."

I stuck out my tongue at him before doubling over in a fit of coughing. The humor instantly disappeared from his eyes and smile as he grabbed my water glass from the nightstand and tried to get me to take it. I swatted his hand away, shaking my head as I tried to catch my breath.

"Edward, I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine," he said, the level doctor's voice returned.

"Leave it alone," I mumbled. "I _will_ be fine soon. Carlisle promised."

He frowned. "His thoughts were a bit more concerned than his tone, Bella. He still wants to keep you under close monitoring until your temperature returns to normal."

I sighed. "Okay."

"Here." He handed me the glass, and I drank a generous amount of the remaining water before giving it back to him.

"Now I have to go to the bathroom."

He shrugged. "And? There's nothing wrong with that. Do you want me or Rosalie to take you?"

I sighed again. "Doesn't matter. You're here, so you might as well."

"I got it." Rose suddenly appeared in the doorframe, smiling at me.

"No, Rose, it's fine," I told her. "Sorry to disturb you."

She snorted. "Yeah right. And too bad. This is my job, remember?"

"She's right," Edward said. "I'll stay here."

I frowned as Rose came and lifted me into her arms and began heading for the door. He laughed at my expression, flashing me another smile. "Don't worry, love. I'm not going anywhere."

And he didn't. Of course I knew he wouldn't move, but I still didn't like being away from him, even for a minute. I had to fight Rosalie to take me back to the bedroom; she wanted to take me back to her room where she could keep a better watch on me. But I told her Edward's bed was warmer, and Carlisle had told me to stay there. That won her over.

She insisted on staying though, but Edward kicked her out so we could talk or read or whatever it was we decided to do. I spent so little time alone with him now; it was hard on us both. But I knew he'd have a serious battle with Rose later after he slammed the door in her face.

"That was a bit rude," I commented as he climbed back onto the bed.

"She deserves it," he answered simply.

"I just love how you two care so much about each other."

He shrugged, giving me a grin. "We do, actually. Hard to believe, but it's true. I love Rosalie just as much as I love Alice…she's just harder to deal with at times."

"Ha. I wonder if she'd be as nice as you if I asked her the same thing."

"Go ahead. She'll probably chew me out and stab me in the back before adding that she still loves me at the end."

I laughed at that, and even though my laughter was weak and broken and now, stuffy, it still brought a bit more light to his eyes. It wasn't fair how everything I did influenced his mood. But then again…I guess it worked two ways. When he was happy, I was happy, too.

"Do you want to talk, then?" he asked.

I shrugged. "About what?"

"Anything you'd like."

"Hmmm…" A sudden idea sparked in me, and I smiled widely.

"What is it?" he grinned back.

"Remember when we were first starting to get to know each other, and we had those interrogation days?"

He laughed, nodding. "Wow. That's an old memory. So much has changed since then, hasn't it?"

I nodded in agreement, briefly reflecting on the last two years of my life. Much had changed indeed…

"But keep going," he said, pulling me from my train of thought. "Sorry, I interrupted you."

I shrugged. "I don't care. I was just thinking how you asked me all of these outrageously random questions about every insignificant detail of my existence, and I hardly broke the surface with my questions." I hesitated for a second. "Can I ask you a few things, like you asked me?"

"Of course." He smiled. "You already know everything about me, though."

"I doubt it."

"Oh really?" He raised his eyebrows slightly.

"Yes, really." I nodded. "How tall are you, exactly?"

He blinked. "6'2"."

"There," I said happily, giving him a bright smile. "I just learned something new."

* * *

Carlisle's promise held true; though still diagnosed with a stupid fever, the medicine really did help. By the time the sun was beginning to rise - not that it made much of a difference; the clouds still concealed nearly all the light – my voice no longer sounded dull and stuffy. Just weak and sparse, as it had all month. I'd managed to convince Edward to take me downstairs, and was sitting up on the couch as the early morning wore on. Jake was still passed out in the corner, snoring like a jackhammer. Poor guy; I was seriously going to have to start yelling at him if he refused sleep anymore.

"Seth will be here in a few minutes," Edward informed me as Rosalie came back from the kitchen, my second cup of blood for the day in tow.

"Really?" I asked as I took it from her, thanking her silently. "That's good. He could probably use some sleep himself."

Rose growled something about keeping the mutt away from the house, but I ignored her. She'd just have to learn to endure. The wolves were family; well, at least the ones that didn't want to kill me. A select few, indeed, but I couldn't be happier with the three on my side. Well…two; I didn't really think Leah was protecting me by choice. But she still did, and I supposed that was all that mattered.

"What does he want?" I asked Edward after a moment of silence.

He shrugged. "He's looking for Jacob. That's about it."

"Oh." I eyed my thoroughly conked-out best friend. "Well it shouldn't take him too long to find him here."

"Not unless he mysteriously disappears when no one is watching," Alice piped up from her spot on the floor beside him. It had become her permanent resting place for the past day; at least when I was in the room. I felt bad for giving her those terrible migraines, but there wasn't much I could do about it.

"What are you suggesting, Alice?" I asked her, cocking one of my eyebrows.

She rolled her eyes. "Nothing, _Bella._"

"I wouldn't trust her if I were you," Edward breathed in my ear, earning himself a near-impalement from one of Alice's shoes.

"Now what are _you_ suggesting?" she questioned as he flung it back to her.

"Seth's here," he said simply.

I looked up and sure enough, the smaller, younger version of Jake came bounding up the porch steps, instantly stopping at the open door. He hovered inside the frame, wearing nothing but a tattered pair of cut-off shorts, and a hesitant but eager expression. "Uh…hi."

"Hi Seth," I replied, smiling and waving him inside. "Come on in."

"Are you sure?"

"Don't be ridiculous." I rolled my eyes at his wary politeness. "You're practically family now."

"Gee, thanks!" He grinned brightly; stopping halfway across the floor at the thunderous sound of Jake's snoring. I'd almost managed to forget about it, blocking it out as best as I could, but it was still quite annoying. Good thing I'd had experience with his snoring from all the times we'd crashed on his sofa in front of the TV.

"Yeah, sorry about Jake," I apologized lamely. Why was I even apologizing for him?

"Nah, don't worry about it," he said, brushing it off. "I'm used to it. I'm just glad he's finally getting some sleep."

"Ditto," I murmured. "Poor guy really needed it."

"You can say that again. He's been driving Leah crazy, snapping at her about every little thing. I think sleep deprivation makes him more than his usual grumpy and delirious."

Edward and I both chuckled at that, and Alice stood up to give Seth a hug.

"Hey pixie," he greeted her.

She grinned. "Hey yourself. Want to be my painkiller?"

"Headache?" he asked.

She nodded. "Yup. Jacob here's been keeping it under control for me, but it's been annoying having to sit and do nothing to get the relief. You're awake."

He laughed. "Well, I don't know if I'm staying. I just came here to find Jake."

"You should stay for a while," Edward murmured, giving him a slight smile. "Don't you need some sleep yourself?"

"Naw, I'm good."

"Seth," I complained.

"Cool it, Bella," he teased lightly. "I've been catching much more z's than this furry butt over here." He pointed over his shoulder at the massive living chainsaw behind him.

I laughed again. "If you say so."

"So, what's the stats on you?" he asked. "I figured something musta happened cause Jake never phased back. We all knew he was exhausted, but…"

"I have a broken rib," I shrugged. "No big deal."

"Ouch," he said, wincing slightly. "That sucks. Is the baby just going to keep breaking your bones?"

"Probably. But I'll live."

Edward sighed next to me, and I gave his hand a tight squeeze. He knew what I was doing.

"Seth? Is that you?"

We all looked up as Esme poked her head down from the top of the stairs.

"Hey Esme," he grinned.

She smiled back widely, coming down the stairs to envelop him in a warm hug. "Good morning, Seth. How are you?"

"I'm all right, thanks for asking."

"Always good to hear." She pulled back and stared at him fondly. "Would you like some breakfast?"

"Nah, I'm fine. But thanks for the offer."

"No, you must be hungry after running around all night," she scolded. "Someone as young as you shouldn't have to do that."

He shrugged. "I don't mind. It makes things more interesting; life at La Push was always rather boring before I become a wolf."

"You should still get some rest, though," she continued, her maternal tone taking control. "Stay here for a while, won't you? Eat something and sleep a bit. We have more than enough room to spare."

Rosalie hissed quietly beside me, and Edward shot her a sharp glare.

"That's really not necessary, Esme," Seth replied, looking a bit uncomfortable. "I don't want to trouble you."

"It's not a trouble at all," she said, kissing his cheek. "It's an honor. Now come, sit. I'll bring you some fresh clothes to put on, as well. You seen about Edward's size."

She brought him over to the couch and made Edward move to allow him room. Seth shot him an apologetic smile, and he grinned back before rising to his feet.

"I'll make you breakfast," he said. "What would you like?"

"Anything is fine," Seth mumbled, embarrassed again.

"All right, then." He bent down to give me a quick kiss before striding off to the kitchen.

"How are things on the wild frontier?" I asked once he was gone.

Seth laughed. "You mean the forest?"

I nodded; ignoring the way Rose was positively glowering at him and acting like a total Ice Queen. He seemed to notice her blatant hatred as well, shifting slightly so he couldn't see her face. Her scowl deepened.

"Yeah, that's what I meant."

He clapped his hands together, nodding thoughtfully. "All things considered, everything's pretty chill. Sam hasn't been giving us _too_ much trouble…at least, not yet. Not to worry you or anything."

"No, it's fine," I sighed. "I already know the full story."

He nodded again. "Hey, are you okay? You don't sound so good."

I cringed slightly. Darn, so my voice was still noticeably worse. "Oh, it's nothing. I just woke up this morning with a fever, but Carlisle gave me some medicine and I'm feeling better. It's no big deal."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Seth," I groaned. I was tired of all the overactive worrying.

He raised his hands in defense. "Hey, just checking. You know I care about you."

I nodded, sparing him a small grin. "Of course, Seth. Ditto."

He smiled back and turned his attention to Esme as she returned to the room, carrying a pair of dark jeans and one of Edward's white V-neck shirts.

"Here, go change into these. I'm sure they'll be much more comfortable," she said, handing them to him. "Sorry about the smell," she added, remembering the wolves' natural reaction to anything vampire-related.

"No problem," he murmured with chagrin. "Thanks; I'll be right back."

He disappeared down the hall leading to the bathroom, making do on his word and returning within a matter of seconds. Esme was right; Edward and Seth were a close fit. And he didn't look half bad in Edward's clothes, either. Too bad…I was going to miss that shirt. Good thing he had more.

Alice pranced over and plopped herself directly in front of Seth's feet as soon as he sat back down, throwing me a grin that clearly said she was perfectly fine being near me now. No more headaches. Good; I'd missed her the past few days.

"Where's your sister, Seth?" I heard Esme ask him. I turned my head and saw him shrug.

"Don't know, don't care. She's on patrol somewhere, or passed out under a tree." He sighed. "No…she's around somewhere; we switched off a few hours ago. She was pretty tired, though; she's not used to running around this much, and it's taking a toll on her. Not that she'd ever admit it," he added with a smirk.

"You must be exhausted, too," Esme chided, her intentions obvious.

"No really, I'm fine," he repeated, not sounding at all bothered by our constant nagging. What a gentleman. However, Esme wasn't to be deterred.

"No, I insist. Once you eat you should rest some. Or at least relax here for a while; give your legs a break. I'm sure Bella would love some new company."

I groaned. Why was she dragging me into this? "Only stay if you want to, Seth. We'll always have time to talk."

He smiled slightly. "I'll think about it. See how long it takes Jake to come around. How long's he been out?"

"Too long," Rose grumbled, voice thick with irritation.

"Since about seven last night," I answered, giving a proper response. He nodded, looking surprised.

"Impressive. He'll probably be up soon, then."

"Yeah," I mumbled. "Probably."

Edward came back then, carrying a plate loaded with delicious looking breakfast items. Bacon, eggs, cinnamon roll, milk. Yum. Too bad I couldn't eat.

"Here you go, Seth," he said, handing the plate to the young wolf.

"Wow…umm, thanks," he said sheepishly. "You know, you really didn't have to-"

"I know," Edward cut him off, smiling as he took his seat beside me. "It's fine. There's more in the kitchen if you want it."

He nodded, and then hesitated. "Hey, can I take some of this down to Leah? She's probably starving…if I can find her, that is."

"Of course," Edward answered. "Take as much as you need."

Seth grinned gratefully. "Thanks, man. You're the best."

He was on his feet in an instant, throwing off Edward's shirt and rushing to the door. "I'll see if she wants anything first. I don't feel like going all the way out there for her to just turn me back around."

We both nodded. That sounded like something that Leah would do. I really hoped she was a good sister to Seth; he deserved it.

A few minutes later he came back inside, sighing and shaking his head. He slipped the shirt back on and readjusted his jeans, so I knew he'd morphed. I stared at him curiously and he pursed his lips.

"She's not interested," he mumbled sullenly.

As expected. But I could see that it made him upset.

"Don't worry about it," I assured him, motioning for him to come back to the couch. He collapsed back into the cushions, still frowning. I grabbed his plate from Edward's lap and shoved it down on Seth.

"Eat," I told him, pointing specifically to the thick, creamy cinnamon roll drizzling with warm sugary frosting. Thankfully, I'd stopped nearly dying every time I was around food. Ever since we'd discovered the blood thirst, as long as it was always quenched to the nearest degree, I was perfectly fine. "It's good for you."

He smiled hesitantly and complied, pointedly tearing a large chunk of the pastry off and chewing it slowly; eyes closed. I couldn't help it and burst out laughing, but quickly stopped at the acute pain it shot through me. I winced, but managed to recover quickly, forcing another smile. I knew Edward had noticed, and most likely everyone in the room, but they made the wise decision of keeping their mouths shut. I darted my eyes to the material of my sweatshirt, playing with the tassels hanging down from the hood. I shivered once. Why the hell was I suddenly freezing now? Stupid fever temperature swings…

Edward wasn't about to ignore my second reaction. Instinctively, he fluffed the blanket draped across my lap and tried to tuck it in closer, but I was still cold.

He sighed and shot Seth an apologetic look. He understood immediately and nodded.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Edward asked him, still looking contrite.

He brushed him off, nodding assuredly. "Of course. Anything to help her."

In the next instant I felt a warm hand brush the back of my neck as Seth relaxed his arm around my shoulders. I could feel him holding it up, not wanting to crush me, and I felt a twinge of regret. He didn't have to do this for me. But I was selfish. And the heat was exactly what I needed.

"Thanks, Seth," I said, shooting him a shy smile. He grinned back brightly.

"No problem."

We all sat in silence for a few minutes, the only noise being the scraping of Seth's fork as he ate single-handedly, murmuring his approval. Something was odd about the silence. I realized why a minute too late. Jake had stopped snoring.

I heard a muffled groan from the other end of the room as my best friend shuddered slightly, stretching his arms out.

"About time," Rose mumbled below me. She was sitting on the ground by Alice, resting her head against my knees. "The chainsaw impersonation was getting a little tired," she continued in a bored tone.

Jake ignored her as he wrenched himself into a sitting position and yawned. His face was distorted into an odd expression as he glanced around the room in a haze. He stared down at the pillow Alice had given him and frowned. Poor guy; he looked seriously confused.

"Hey, Jake's coming around!" Seth exclaimed.

Jake continued to stare at him for a while, his frown noticeably deepening. What the hell?

"He came to find you," Edward explained as Mr. Delusional dragged himself to his feet. "And Esme convinced him to stay for breakfast."

"Yeah, Jake," Seth nodded, before elaborating, "I was just checking to see if you were okay 'cause you didn't ever phase back. Leah got worried. I _told_ her you probably just crashed human, but you know how she is. Anyway, they had all this food and, dang,"-he turned to Edward-"man, you can _cook."_

"Thank you," he murmured, smiling slightly.

Jake didn't appear to be listening to him. He was still glaring, but I couldn't understand why.

"Bella got cold," Edward said quietly, and then I realized. Oh. Right.

Seth instantly removed his arm from my shoulders, focusing on his breakfast like it was the most important thing in the world. I frowned. Jake didn't need to get all possessive over my sweatshirt-clad shoulders. Geez.

"Leah running patrol?" he asked Seth as he walked over to the couch, stopping a few feet away. His voice was thick and heavy with sleep.

"Yeah," Seth replied through bites of omelette. "She's on it. No worries. She'll howl if there's anything. We traded off around midnight. I ran twelve hours." He sounded proud of his work, and he should. It was sheer cruelty the amount of strain he had to be putting on himself, all for my sake.

"Midnight?" Jacob repeated, blinking. I resisted the urge to laugh. "Wait a minute – what time is it now?"

"'Bout dawn."

Jake gaped at him like someone had just knocked the wind out of him. "Crap. Sorry about that, Seth. Really. You shoulda kicked me awake."

"Naw, man, you needed some serious sleep," he disagreed. "You haven't taken a break since when? Night before your last patrol for Sam? Like forty hours? Fifty? You're not a machine, Jake," he chided. "'Sides, you didn't miss anything at all."

His eyes darted to me, examining my face closely. I normally didn't like inspection, but I didn't mind so much this time. His lips were pursed and his brow was furrowed, but he did seem pleased that I looked to be in better health. My skin was cream and roses again, and my lips had color. Hopefully my eyes were brighter, but probably not. Maybe when my slight illness blew over.

I gave him a big smile as he continued scrutinizing me, nodding slightly.

"How's the rib?" he asked.

"Taped up nice and tight," I answered. "I don't even feel it."

He rolled his eyes and I heard Edward's jaw lock with a snap. I sighed internally, wanting to slap them both. Seth was the only semi-sensible one around here.

"What's for breakfast?" Jake asked me sarcastically. "O negative or AB positive?"

I stuck out my tongue at him, resisting a grin. "Omelettes." For _you_. Not me.

As if hearing my thoughts, his eyes darted down to my blood glass. It was currently wedged between my leg and Edward's, about half-filled.

"Go get some breakfast, Jake," Seth told him. "There's a bunch in the kitchen. You've got to be empty."

He examined the pate of food balanced on Seth's lap. Looked good to me, and I knew Edward was pretty much the best cook in the world, but I still doubted Jake would actually stay to eat. He looked on edge, and like he wanted to leave.

"What's Leah having for breakfast?" he asked in a low, critical tone.

"Hey, I took food to her before I ate _anything_," Seth defended himself. "She said she'd rather eat roadkill, but I bet she caves. These cinnamon rolls…" He trailed off dreamily, thoroughly enjoying another bite of his.

"I'll go hunt with her, then."

I frowned and Seth sighed as he turned for the door. Carlisle stepped up behind him though, stopping him.

"A moment, Jacob?"

I noticed how his posture changed as he turned to face the doctor. Almost like he was trying to look respectful; it was a nice gesture. I knew Carlisle had taken excellent care of Jake when he was injured two months ago, and it pleased me to see that it seemed to have made an impression.

"Yeah?"

"Speaking of hunting," Carlisle began in a somber voice, stopping a few feet away from him. "That's going to be an issue for my family. I understand that our previous truce is inoperative at the moment, so I wanted your advice. Will Sam be hunting for us outside of the perimeter you've created? We don't want to take a chance with hurting any of your family – or losing any of ours. If you were in our shoes, how would you proceed?"

Jake leaned back slightly, looking mildly surprised at Carlisle's choice of words. I watched him intently as he answered, trying to gather what I could from the conversation. I knew it was an important topic, and I didn't want to be left clueless.

"It's a risk," he started, a bit wary. "Sam's calmed down some, but I'm pretty sure that in his head, the treaty is void. As long as he thinks the tribe, or any other human, is in real danger, he's not going to ask questions first, if you know what I mean. But, with all that, his priority is going to be La Push. There really aren't enough of them to keep a decent watch on the people while putting out hunting parties big enough to do much damage. I'd bet he's keeping it close to home."

I tried to catch up with everything he'd said, watching as Carlisle nodded thoughtfully. It was almost too much to wrap my head around, but I figured that Sam's pack was still a lethal threat. Even if his mood was cool, I knew Sam always had a dangerous mind, and held deadly grudges. He would never forgive Jake for his betrayal, and the bitterness was obvious in my friend's tone as he spoke of his former leader.

"So I guess I'd say, go out together, just in case," he added after a moment of afterthought. "And probably you should go in the day, 'cause we'd be expecting night. Traditional vampire stuff. You're fast – go over the mountains and hunt far enough away that there's not chance he'd send anyone that far from home."

"And leave Bella behind, unprotected?" Carlisle asked, surprised.

Jake snorted, throwing a glance at Seth and then back to the doctor. "What are we, chopped liver?"

He laughed lightly, but then his face turned serious again. "Jacob, you can't fight against your brothers."

Jake's smile fell. "I'm not saying it wouldn't be hard, but if they were really coming to kill her – I would be able to stop them."

I felt my heart skip a beat. Jacob would murder his friends and risk his own life just to save mine? Of course I'd known all along that he would, but hearing him actually say it just made it that much more real. It was terrifying. It was sweet. It was impossible. It couldn't happen.

Carlisle shook his head, drawing my attention back to him. "No, I didn't mean that you would be…incapable. But that it would be very wrong. I can't have that on my conscience."

"It wouldn't be on yours, Doc. It would be on mine," Jake stated firmly. "And I can take it."

"No, Jacob," Carlisle replied with the same severity. "We will make sure that our actions don't make that a necessity. We'll go three at a time," he decided after a thoughtful pause. "That's probably the best we can do."

"I don't know, Doc. Dividing down the middle isn't the best strategy."

"We've got some extra abilities that will even it up," he continued, undeterred. "If Edward is one of the three, he'll be able to give us a few miles' radius of safety."

I felt Edward's hands ball up into tight fists and the three of us all turned to look at him. I was aware of Seth, Alice, and Rose watching him as well, but he ignored them. He ignored me, too, keeping his eyes locked only on Carlisle and Jake. And the look he was giving them was by far the most terrifying and violent glare I'd ever seen. And his eyes were so black that I was instantly reminded of the first day that I'd ever seen him. I felt myself instinctively shy away from the outrage and fury resonating from his body. As I had once thought, _if looks could kill_…If that statement held true, they'd both be dead tenfold.

I really was going to have to talk to Edward about neglecting his needs. It was obvious that he was dying to go hunting - he'd never gone so long without it - but I knew that he never would. Not with me around. Until I was healthy and strong and out of danger, in other words, a vampire myself, he was going to remain tied to my side like a manacle.

I sighed as I turned back to face Carlisle.

"I'm sure there are other ways, too," he was saying to Jake, eyeing Edward cautiously. He suddenly focused his attention on Alice. "Alice, I would imagine you could see which routes would be a mistake?"

"The ones that disappear," she said, nodding. "Easy."

I felt Edward ease up beside me, obviously relieved that Carlisle wasn't about to put up a fight to drag him out of the house. I, on the other hand, wasn't so sure about his faith in Alice. It was risky following her judgment where the wolves were involved. There were too many holes; I didn't want any of them wandering in vulnerable land.

"Okay, then," Jake said, breaking my train of thought. "That's settled. I'll just be on my way. Seth, I'll expect you back on at dusk, so get a nap in there somewhere, all right?"

"Sure, Jake," he nodded. "I'll phase back soon as I'm done. Unless…"

He turned to me, looking uncertain again. "Do you need me?"

Before I could answer, Jake snarled, "She's got blankets."

I took in Seth's startled expression and quickly said, "I'm fine, Seth, thanks."

Jake didn't need to be so rude about it, though. But…I knew why he was. It still didn't make it right though; Seth was such a sweet guy. He didn't deserve Jake's misplaced resentment.

Esme flitted into the room, carrying a huge covered dish. I hadn't even realized she'd left. I watched as she slowly approached Jake, stopping just behind Carlisle's elbow, and shyly offering the dish.

"Jacob," she murmured quietly. "I know it's…unappetizing to you, the idea of eating here, where it smells so unpleasant. But I would feel much better if you would take some food with you when you go. I know you can't go home, and that's because of us. Please – eat some of my remorse. Take something to eat."

My heart softened at her timid act, and her words. I knew they came straight from her heart. Esme was just _such_ a mother; she felt the need to protect and shelter everyone, and she carried the heavy burden of responsibility on her shoulders. Anything loosely related to, or sometimes not at all, herself or her family, and she immediately took the blame. It made me sad to watch her pour herself out on that plate for someone born to be her enemy. I hoped with everything I had that he at least had the decency to thank her and tell her that none of this was her fault. _Please, Jake. Just look at her._

"Uh, sure, sure," he mumbled, looking uncomfortable; just as Seth had. "I guess. Maybe Leah's still hungry or something."

He reached out and took the food from her, balancing it at an arms length with one hand. He gave a slight nod and suddenly looked as if he was concentrating very hard on something.

"Thank you, Jacob," Esme said, smiling warmly. _There. Good boy._

"Um, thank you," he answered back, giving another awkward nod. He had to be embarrassed out of his wits; his face was burning up. I knew that look anywhere.

"Will you come back later, Jake?" I asked before he could run for it.

He turned and glanced at me over his shoulder. "Uh, I don't know."

I bit down on my bottom lip, trying to hide a smile. "Please? I might get cold."

He took a deep breath and winced, probably from the smell. He turned to the door again. "Maybe."

"Jacob?" Esme called him again. He continued for the door and she followed him. "I left a basket of clothes on the porch. They're for Leah. They're freshly washed – I tried to touch them as little as possible." She frowned then, pursing her lips. "Do you mind taking them to her?"

"On it," he muttered, ducking through the doorframe and disappearing.

I sighed once he was gone, picking up my cup of blood and taking a solid sip. I noticed Seth was watching me, a look of mixed horror and fascination on his face. I set it back down, tilting my head slightly to the side. "What?"

"How do you do that?" he asked in amazement, shaking his head. Edward chuckled darkly.

"I don't know," I shrugged. "How do you do half the stuff you do? You just get used to it."

"I guess, but still…just drinking pure human blood."

I cringed. "Urg. Can you please not say it like that?"

"Oh," he said, startled. "Sorry!"

"No, no, it's fine," I assured him. "It is a bit odd, I know. I'm probably the only human vampire the world has ever known."

Alice laughed at that, shaking her head. "Well I've never heard it phrased like that before."

I shrugged. "It's true, though. I need it to keep living; just like a vampire."

"You know what I need?" Seth asked rhetorically. "Another one of those cinnamon rolls."

I smacked him lightly in the arm, and with that, he jumped to his feet and sauntered off to the kitchen. Rose glared at the back of his head the entire time.

"He'd better not touch anything in there," she hissed.

"Oh, lay off him, Rose," Alice scolded. "He's a good kid."

She rolled her eyes.

"That's what they all say."

"I'm going upstairs," she said by way of a response. "Jazz hasn't been down for a while."

"Neither has Emmett," Rosalie replied, flipping her hair. "But I'm not moving. He can come here if he wants to see me."

"Suit yourself." She rose to her feet and lithely darted up the staircase and vanished from sight. Carlisle and Esme moved back to their spot far behind the couch, in the chairs by the huge glass wall. They began a quiet conversation, leaving Edward and I alone. Rose ignored us, and we returned the gesture. She was never going to leave, but that was perfectly fine.

With an exhausted sigh I collapsed against Edward's shoulder, letting my eyes fall closed.

"How can I still be tired?" I asked him. "I've barely been awake for an hour."

"Maybe you were never done sleeping," he murmured. "Before dawn is still quite early, and you were up rather late last night."

"Only eleven," I scoffed. "Ridiculous. I'm usually up much later than that."

"You didn't used to be before you knew me," he sighed.

"Too bad. I am now."

He chuckled once. "Fine then. What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I'm tired and it makes no sense."

"Then sleep more. I'll take you back upstairs if you like."

I shook my head. "No. I can't sleep before nightfall. I can wait."

"Suit yourself." He repeated Alice's parting words with a smirk. "You always were stubborn as a rock."

"Yup," I mumbled.

"Good thing I love you so much."

I laughed. "It's a good thing that I love you _too_ much."

He grinned and leaned in to kiss me gently on my lips, chuckling again as my body reacted without my permission.

"I'm really going to miss that blush, you know," he murmured sadly.

"Yeah, I know. Me too, a little."

"I guess I'll just have to make you blush as much as I can, then," he said, the smile returning. "Don't know how much longer it will be around."

"Heaven knows it's not that hard to do," I replied. "I blush at everything."

"Then here's a good place to start." He leaned in again to kiss my nose. As expected, my cheeks flared to life with violent color.

He chuckled as he kissed my forehead, my throat, and then finally, my lips again. He didn't pull back this time, though, and let me be the one to end it. I was flustered and out of breath by the time I did, and he smiled as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

"Beautiful," he murmured, running a cool finger across my burning face.

And for the first time that I could remember, I didn't refuse his compliment as he leaned in to kiss me again. Who knew how much longer it would hold true? I wasn't about to sit still and find out.

* * *

(A/N:) Holy freaking flipping crow. I am so amazingly impossibly sorry that it took me so long to finish this chapter. I thought I would have more time during the summer, but I'm actually busier than ever now. It sucks, but I get to work at the zoo, so it doesn't suck =] But that's still no excuse. The fact is I'm still lazy and need better motivation to write. Haha. I've been so caught up in reading...I just love reading. So I've been enjoying just reading more for like the past month. But I must finish this!!! It's almost done!!! Again...apologies, everyone.

What'd you think of the chapter? Longest one ever. But I really like it =] Please review; reviews make my day!!!! And of course, I had to update today cause it's Edward's birthday!!!!!! Happy Birthday, Edward!!! I love youuuuu =D

--Steph


	9. Preparations

16. PREPARATIONS

When Seth came back from the kitchen, he was smiling and licking the white frosting from his cinnamon roll off his fingers. I had to laugh at the look of contentment on his face, but I couldn't blame him – Edward's cooking was just _that_ good. He took his seat on the couch beside me and grinned again.

"So, what'd I miss?"

"Oh please," I scoffed weakly. "Like you didn't hear everything."

"Ah, but hearing is not the same as seeing, darling," he teased me.

"Seth, actually, can I talk to you for a minute?" Edward interjected, his tone instantly changing the mood. I looked up at him incredulously, but Seth didn't look surprised. He nodded once and waited for him to continue.

"Rose, can you take Bella upstairs, please?" He asked then, turning to Rosalie. I'd almost forgotten she was there.

"No, I want to hear!" I pleaded. "You should know by now that there's nothing you can't say in front of me."

Edward sighed, reaching over to brush a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "I know, love. I just don't want you to worry."

"Just let her listen, man," Seth shrugged, seemingly taking my side. "It's not anything too bad."

"No, I'll take her," Rosalie decided, grinning smugly. "I'm sure she misses Alice, Emmett, and Jasper."

I hesitated for a moment, but then conceded. I hadn't seen the boys in over a day, and I could never get enough of Alice. Edward would tell me later what he and Seth were talking about, and if he didn't, I was sure Seth would.

"Fine, Rose," I sighed. "Go ahead."

She smiled and gently scooped me up into her arms and had raced up the stairs before I could even say goodbye to Edward. She brought me into Alice and Jasper's room, where the three of them were sitting cross-legged on the floor, talking quietly. They all looked up when she entered, and smiled brightly when they saw me.

"Hey Bella!" Emmett greeted me.

I gave him a smile in return. "Hi Emmett."

Rose carefully placed me on the ground beside him before sitting down herself. He plopped me into his lap and held me close, just like a giant teddy bear. Except instead of being soft and warm, he was hard and cold. A feeling I'd grown to love more than anything else.

"What brings you up here, Bella?" Jasper asked quietly, his expression confused. But then realization must have dawned on him, because he let out a light snicker. "Did Edward kick you out?"

I rolled my eyes. "Sorta. But I really just wanted to spend some time with you guys." I pouted. "You never come downstairs."

"We don't really see the need to," he shrugged. "Edward and Rosalie take wonderful care of you, and Carlisle can provide any medical attention that they can't."

"And anyway, Edward doesn't really want too many people hanging around you," Emmett added, jeering. "I swear, the guy looks like he's about to murder us when we come near."

"Oh." I frowned. "I'm sorry. I'll have to talk to him about that.'

"Nah, don't bother with it. It's no big deal. You're here now, aren't you?"

I nodded. "Yup. I'm here for as long as you want."

"Oh, then you're going to be here a very very long time," Emm chuckled, holding me even closer.

"Don't scare her now, Emmett," Jasper ginned, winking at me.

I laughed and rolled my eyes. "Don't worry. I'm quite used to being kidnapped by now." I shot Alice a pointed look and she burst into a fit of giggles. Jasper took her up in his arms much like Emm had for me, placing a kiss on her spiky jet hair.

"What were you talking about earlier?" I asked once everything was silent.

Alice shrugged from inside the confines of her husband's arms. "Nothing, really. Just a few things with the wolves, and then listening to the beginnings of Edward and Seth's conversation."

I sat up a bit straighter. "And?"

She shrugged again. "Not really exciting. Honestly, those two worry far too much. Especially Edward." She shook her head slightly, feigning disappointment.

"Hey, it's just because he cares," I defended him.

"Oh, believe me, I know that very well." She rolled her eyes dramatically. "That still doesn't make it any less annoying."

"Anyway, what are they talking about?" I asked her curiously.

"Seth was just wondering if we were planning on moving you north to Alaska or Canada."

"What?!"

Now it was Jasper who shrugged. "It does actually make perfect sense. It's dangerous leaving you here with Sam's pack looking to kill you, even with us here to protect you. And Carlisle could have access to a much more sophisticated hospital with better equipment up near Denali. Tanya wouldn't mind us staying with her, and it wouldn't be an inconvenience for her and her sisters because they hunt animals, like us. But I'm sure you know that by now."

I tried to wrap my head around what he was suggesting. Staying in Alaska?! While I did see the strong points that defended that idea, I didn't exactly want to leave. And I knew Jake would never come with us. That alone was more than enough to make me stay. I wasn't going to abandon my best friend. Not again.

"I don't want to leave," I said, trying to sound firm but only succeeding in sounding like a whiny little kid.

"Don't worry," he said, letting a small wave of calm wash over me. I relaxed instantly under his control, waiting for him to continue.

"Edward would never move you," he concluded fluidly. "He doesn't think it's worth it, because traveling could be deadly for you. And we all agree with him for once."

I let the answer sink in. "Oh. Okay, then."

"But Carlisle is going to have to take a run to get you more blood," Emmett grinned, tugging gently on the ends of my hair. "You're draining the entire supply."

I blushed, averting my eyes to my hands resting in my lap. "Sorry."

He laughed his booming laugh and held me closer. "Don't worry about it, little sister. You're a vampire in training."

"Ha ha. Very funny."

"You said it yourself."

I sighed, nodding slightly. "Yeah, I know I did. It just sounds so…strange."

"Ah, you'll get over it once the venom's in you," he continued, waving one hand in dismissal. "Then you'll have time to worry about everything. Endless amounts of time."

Rose smacked him on the back of the head, making us all laugh.

"Stop being such an insensitive jerk," she chided, giving him a mild glare.

"Only if you tell me how," he grinned, rubbing the spot where she'd hit. "And damn, woman! Are you trying to give me a concussion?"

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, turning away from him.

"C'mon Rosie, don't be like that! I was only kidding."

My fits of laughter were cut short by a sharp kick from the baby, followed by a sickening snap. I screamed before the pain even struck me. I knew what it would feel like, and that tripled my panic. Was I ever going to survive a day unscathed?

Everything seemed to move in slow-motion. I watched as my sibling's faces turned into masks of horror and shock, parallels of mine. I hadn't even realized Rosalie had closed the door when she brought me in, but when it was thrown open with a loud bang I turned and glanced at it. Edward rushed inside, followed closely by Seth, Carlisle, and Esme.

I already knew what had happened. I had another broken bone; felt like another rib. Figures. After Carlisle's warning I was honestly expecting to break every bone in my body before the baby was born. Maybe a bit of an overreaction, but hey, two bones in two days is a pretty impressive start.

"Bella!" Edward gasped as he fell to his knees before me. "Bella, what happened?"

By now I couldn't really concentrate on anything other than the steady throbbing of my stomach. I'd twisted myself up in Emmett's lap, bending my legs and desperately grabbing at the material of my jeans to keep me from falling apart.

As gently as he could manage, but still in a panicked frenzy, Edward scooped me up and carefully transferred me to his own lap. I threw my arms around his neck and buried my face deep into his shirt, trying to muffle the sobs and screams that escaped me.

I felt a calm, ice cold hand barely touch me, prodding lightly just above the bulge of my stomach. I knew it was Carlisle without having to look. And I knew what he was about to say.

"It's another broken rib," he sighed, getting back to his feet and straightening up.

I heard Edward curse quietly, pressing his face into my hair and releasing an agonized groan.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," Carlisle said, placing a hand on my shoulder. "I'm afraid you have to come with me again."

I finally raised my head enough to look at him. "Another X-ray?"

He nodded solemnly.

"Shit."

"Come on Bella, just do it now and it will be over before you know it," Rosalie attempted to placate me.

"Yeah, I guess." I winced, still suffering the fresh wave of fiery torture. I wondered if it was anything like what the transformation would feel like. If it was, at least I had practice.

* * *

Rose was right. It wasn't terrible, and when I got the results they weren't terrible either. Just a minor fracture, and Carlisle had taped it up for me just like the other one. I was fine, and the baby was fine. That was all that mattered.

Edward and Esme had convinced Seth to stay with us for the day and get some sleep. It had taken some effort, but he finally conceded and crashed in the guest room down the hall from Alice and Jasper's room. He only slept for a few hours, but we could all see how much a difference it made.

The rest of the morning passed without incident, and the afternoon wore on at a leisurely pace. I was sent back to the couch and instructed not to move, and after Carlisle gave me my second dose of cold medicine, plus an antibiotic to kill my fever, the boys settled down and played cards with me.

Edward had decided he didn't want to play, but he sat next to me on the couch and helped me when I allowed it. With his mind reading ability it was effortless for him to cheat, and I didn't exactly want to be a cheat myself, so I mostly told him to can it whenever he tried to suggest something.

Rose sat in Emmett's lap while he played, looking bored as usual. But I would always catch a hint of a smile on her lips whenever he would kiss the top of her head or her forehead. I knew she was a softie inside; she just had a tough exterior.

I had never been particularly cardsharp, but I wasn't terrible. I didn't know many games, though. Just basics like Blackjack and BS. We played those for a while, and Emmett discovered that my maiden initials matched the name of the latter game. He thought it was hilarious, and insisted on shouting 'Bella Swan' in substitution of the normal 'BS' at every time he could manage.

Eventually my irritation got the best of me, and Jasper taught me a new game called Egyptian Rat Screw. It sounded ridiculous, but it was actually really fun. My reflexes were less than acceptable though, and considering I was playing against vampires, I didn't even come close to winning any rounds.

After an hour of that, we stopped and Jasper disappeared upstairs. I knew he was worried about Alice; with Seth out cold and Jacob gone, she wasn't able to be downstairs with me. He gave me an apologetic look as he gathered the cards, and I shook it off and told him to go console his wife. Emmett decided to stay with us, and he and Rose had situated themselves in one of the lounge chairs adjacent to my couch. We talked for a bit, but I quickly ran out of things to say.

Edward was still worried about monitoring my temperature, so when Seth finally came around they both took turns warming me up and cooling me off.

"Why didn't you want to tell me about Alaska?" I asked as Edward sat on the ground by my feet. His head had been leaning against my legs, and when he heard my question he bolted upright to stare at me with wide eyes. Beside me, I felt Seth shift slightly, moving the arm that was thrown over my shoulders.

"How did you know about that?" he asked dubiously.

I shrugged. "Alice and Jasper told me when I was upstairs."

"Oh." He frowned, narrowing his eyes slightly.

"Don't be angry with them," I said quickly, sensing his annoyance. "It was my fault. I wanted to know."

He sighed and let himself collapse against my legs again. "You want to know everything."

"There's nothing wrong with a healthy dose of curiosity."

He chuckled lightly, and I could feel his smirk. "Curiosity killed the cat."

"And satisfaction brought it back," I finished, not missing a beat.

"Yes, but you're not a cat." He raised his head again, meeting my eyes with an amused expression. "You're a Bella. You're much less likely to survive an impact with any potentially dangerous object."

Emmett laughed across the room, earning a glare from me and another smack from Rosalie. I had to admit, it was nice to see her standing up for me. Maybe she cared about me a bit more than I thought…

"Bella." I turned at my name and saw Carlisle coming from the kitchen, holding one of the house phones. "It's your father. Would you like to talk to him?"

I nodded enthusiastically, and he smiled as he brought the white phone to me.

"Dad?" I asked as I pressed the receiver to my ear.

"Bella?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"Wow…you sound a lot better," he noted, and I could hear the immense relief in his voice.

"I am better," I agreed, grinning slightly. I didn't miss the dark look Edward shot me, but I ignored him just like I had with Renee. Charlie needed comforting; I knew he was worried sick about me. It was more than disheartening to hear about my reserved, awkward father teeming with concern. He never showed anything more than necessary emotion unless the matter was of great importance to him. I knew how important I was to him. I was the only family he had. Losing me would be losing the world.

"Really, Bell? That's great!" he exclaimed, clearly pleased.

"Yeah, I should be fine in a few weeks. Carlisle's been taking incredible care of me, and Edward and Rosalie, too."

"Good. You more than deserve whatever they can give you."

I felt my heart soften a bit at his declaration. He'd never said anything like that to me before.

"Aww Dad, stop. You're going to make me start crying."

"No, it's true," he continued. "I want only the best for my little girl."

I sighed. "You deserve some rest. You sound exhausted."

"Don't worry about me, Bells. I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine to me," I chided mildly.

"All right then, if you insist," he sighed, giving in. "But I have to get back to work, now."

"That's fine. Just try to relax, okay?"

"Okay," he agreed. "And you keep on getting better."

I grinned, even though he couldn't see. "Can do."

"I love you, Bella."

"Love you too, Dad."

The line disconnected and I handed the phone back to Carlisle, who walked back into the kitchen after gently squeezing my shoulder. Edward sighed heavily beneath me, and I looked down at his fatigued expression. I knew he was frustrated with my stubborn inability to follow simple rules, and that caused him to worry far more than he usually did, which was, honestly, barely comprehendible. I wasn't sure, in the entire two years that I had known him, that I had ever once seen him totally relaxed. The thought saddened me, and I realized how tired he must be. If my father needed a few good nights' rest, Edward needed years of it. Too bad there was no possible way for him to sleep.

"Bella, do you want anything?" he asked me quietly, ignoring my entire conversation with Charlie. It surprised me; I was expecting another lecture on not raising my family's hopes.

"Umm…no thank you, I'm okay right now," I told him sincerely.

He nodded, apparently satisfied. "Are you too warm now?"

I shook my head. "Nope. But I guess it's time for you and Seth to switch off."

"Actually Bella, I think I need to head out," Seth said, unraveling his arm from me and jumping to his feet. "It's dusk; I promised I would meet Jake."

"Oh…okay." I hesitated for a second, biting my lip. "Hey, can you do me a favor?"

He nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, of course. What is it?"

"When you finish with Jake, can you have him come here? I want to see him again."

Edward groaned quietly, but I ignored him and kept my eyes on Seth.

He grinned, giving me a knowing look. "Sure, no problem. I'll make sure he stops by."

I smiled back. "Thanks, Seth."

He took my hand and lightly kissed the back of it before running out the front door, casting a final wave and smile to Edward and the others.

"Stupid dog," Rosalie muttered once he was gone.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh stop it, Rose. Seth's a great guy."

"Whatever."

I settled back into the couch, and Edward took Seth's empty seat, wrapping his own arm around me. I leaned into him, relaxing in his easy embrace. He kissed my forehead gently, letting his lips linger on my warm skin for a few seconds.

"Are you thirsty?" he questioned, and I realized I hadn't had more than three glasses of blood today. Carlisle had recommended I get at least five, just to keep things balanced without starving me.

"Yeah, I am actually."

"I'll get it for her," Rose quickly said, untangling herself from Emmett's arms and rising to her feet. "It's about time you asked for more."

Before I could answer, she had darted from the room. I counted to three and she was back, my plastic cup filled to the brim. She handed it to me carefully, and I thanked her before taking a deep sip. Mmmm…it tasted so good.

Edward still watched me while I drank; something I was beginning to get used to. I finished the entire thing within a matter of minutes, and quickly felt the aftereffects hitting me. I shifted around uncomfortably on the cushions, too embarrassed to ask Rose for assistance. Because there was no way in hell that I could get to the bathroom by myself.

Edward seemed to understand what I was thinking, though, because he ran his fingers lightly through my hair and turned to her. "Rosalie, could you please take Bella to the bathroom?"

She nodded and silently moved back to my side, picking me up like I was a tattered rag doll. For someone so callous she could be amazingly gentle. I smiled up at her, and she returned it warmly. If only she could be like this always. I knew part of what Jacob had told me was true; the only reason she was really doing any of this was for the baby. But I really felt like she was finally warming up to me, and she cared about me, too.

When we returned, Jake was standing in the middle of the room, talking to Alice. He looked ridiculously awkward, rocking back and forth on his heels. Esme had come to sit beside Edward on the couch, and she had her arm wrapped around his shoulders tightly.

"Oh, wonderful," Rose grumbled once she noticed Jake. She kept me cradled in her arms, giving him a harsh sneer. "I knew I smelled something nasty."

I wanted to tell her not to be so cruel to him, but the only thing I could pay attention to was how absurdly happy I was that he was here. I didn't know why, but it was like he had just made my day by showing back up. I gave him a huge smile as he glanced my way.

"Jacob," I breathed. "You came."

He sighed and gave me half-hearted smile. "Hi, Bells."

Edward and Esme got up to make room for me, and Rose carefully stretched me out on the couch. Even the simplest movements had begun causing me pain, so I held my breath the entire time, willing my mouth to stay shut. It wasn't terrible, just like a sharp prick from a needle. It was there, and then it was gone. But of course, needles scared me to death.

Edward approached me slowly, bending down so he was on his knees. He brushed his hand lightly across my forehead and neck, tucking a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. His expression was troubled; his eyebrows bunched together and his lips turned down in a slight frown.

"Are you cold?" he murmured.

I sighed internally. Just a few minutes ago he'd asked if I was too warm. His skin was rather chilling, though. "I'm fine."

"Bella, you know what Carlisle told you," Rose said sternly, like a babysitter delivering the parents' orders. "Don't downplay _anything_. It doesn't help us take care of either of you."

I pursed my lips, considering her request. "Okay, I'm a little cold," I confessed. "Edward, can you hand me that blanket?"

Jake rolled his eyes, taking a step forward. "Isn't that sort of the point of me being here?"

"You just walked in," I informed him, shaking my head slightly. "After running all day, I'd bet. Put your feet up for a minute. I'll probably warm up again in no time. Just let Edward handle this; you must be exhausted as is."

He seemed to have stopped listening to me, because he sat down on the floor next to me with a blank expression. He looked worried for a second, but then he stretched up his arms to warm me up, leaning carefully against my side. One of his arms rested along the length of mine, while his other gently cupped my face. A slight shiver rippled through me.

"Thanks, Jake," I whispered.

"Yeah."

Everyone was quiet for a few minutes, but then the distinct rumbling of Jake's stomach broke the silence. Poor guy. He was exhausted _and_ starved.

"Rosalie, why don't you get Jacob something from the kitchen?" Alice piped up. I hadn't heard a word from her since she came downstairs. I couldn't see her, but her voice sounded like it was directly behind me.

Rose looked at me for a moment in disbelief before whipping her head to the spot where my pixie sister's voice had come from. She looked beyond shocked.

"Thanks, anyway, Alice, but I don't think I'd want to eat something Blondie's spit in," Jake said in a bored tone. "I'd bet my system wouldn't take too kindly to venom."

"Rosalie would never embarrass Esme by displaying such a lack of hospitality," Alice answered with a slightly mocking tenor. I knew exactly where her thoughts were. I remembered the hospitality lecture.

"Of _course_ not," Rose trilled in a voice saturated with sugar. I knew that voice, too. This wouldn't be anything good.

Edward sighed as she breezed out of the room, and I wondered what she was thinking.

"You'd tell me if she poisoned it, right?" Jake questioned him.

"Yes," he promised.

I was about to add something, but stopped mid-thought at the sound of metal crashing in the kitchen. It sounded like a war had ensued, and I watched Edward's expression carefully as he sighed again. A hint of a smile graced his lips, though, and my eyes darted to Jake. Rose was definitely planning something.

Before I had much time to ponder it, she was back, carrying a silver bowl in one hand. A condescendingly smug smirk corrupted her features as she placed the bowl on the floor beside Jake.

"Enjoy, mongrel."

It took me a minute to recognize the significance of her trick, but then I laughed quietly to myself. She'd taken one of the sterling silver mixing bowls and bent it into the shape of a dog bowl. She'd even written _Fido _on the side. I had to hand it to her; she knew how to be clever when the situation called for it…or even when it didn't.

Jake didn't seem too upset over the whole thing. He stared at the steak and potato she'd retrieved him and flashed her a big smile. "Thanks, Blondie."

She snorted, rolling her eyes.

"Hey, do you know what you call a blonde with a brain?" he asked quickly. "A golden retriever."

"I've heard that one, too," Rose answered, her smile disappearing. I, however, laughed at the joke. She shot me a gentle glare before turning her attention back to her lounge chair. Emmett had decided to leave, so she curled up in it by herself, watching Jake with narrowed eyes.

"I'll keep trying," he promised her before digging in to his meal.

I watched him for a while, too, glad that he was finally getting some proper nutrition. I had no idea what he hunted; probably a similar diet to Edward, but I couldn't be sure.

When he'd finished everything, I reached down and tangled my hand in his hair, gently pulling at it. It was continuing to steadily grow longer, but the rough trim from the shears was still visible. I smoothed it down and rested my hand at the base of his neck.

"Time for a haircut, huh?" he asked, glancing up at me.

I shrugged. "You're getting a little shaggy. Maybe -"

"Let me guess, someone around here used to cut hair in Paris?"

I laughed lightly, amused by his sarcasm. But there was a good chance that it was true. "Probably."

"No thanks," he added before I could offer to help him with it. "I'm good for a few more weeks."

I nodded and waited for him to say something else. It was silent for a few minutes, but I could tell he was struggling to find the proper way to phrase some sentence. Edward's eyes were practically boring holes into the back of his head, but he didn't seem to notice.

"So…um…what's the, er, date?" he began awkwardly. "You know, the due date for the little monster."

I smacked him in the back of the head, pouting slightly and trying not to smile.

"I'm serious," he defended. "I want to know how long I'm gonna have to be here."

I frowned at his statement. So he didn't want to be here. He was only doing it because he felt he had to. The thought saddened me a bit, but I tried to hide it.

"I don't know," I murmured. "Not exactly. Obviously, we're not going with the nine-month model here, and we can't get an ultrasound, so Carlisle is guesstimating from how big I am." I sighed, running my fingers across the middle of my stomach. "Normal people are supposed to be about forty centimeters here when the baby is fully grown. One centimeter for every week. I was thirty this morning, and I've been gaining about two centimeters a day, sometimes more…"

I trailed off, figuring he could calculate the rest. In all honestly, I was a bit freaked by how fast the due date was approaching – this week, for crying out loud! – but I had to remind myself that the sooner he was born, the sooner I'd be a vampire and everything would be fine. Jake wouldn't be happy, but there wasn't much I could do about it. He would just have to learn to accept things as they were.

I noticed his frozen expression and was pulled from my train of thoughts. He looked shocked into silence. Maybe I shouldn't have laid it on quite so thick…

"You okay?" I asked him hesitantly.

He nodded slowly, no doubt unable to talk yet. I realized Edward was turned away from us, shielding his own expression from me. I was just as worried about him, if not more. He needed reassuring, too. But Jake needed it right now, and I just couldn't ignore the almost magnetic pull that seemed to draw me to him. Maybe it was because we knew that these were our last days together…once I was truly one of the Cullens, I knew he wouldn't come back.

I took the hand that I'd left on his neck and brought it to his face, gently trailing my fingers across his cheekbone.

"It's going to be okay," I said softly, trying to convince myself, as well, that it would be.

"Right," he muttered, frowning.

I curled my body up next to him, wrapping around his arm and resting my head on his shoulder. "I didn't think you would come. Seth said you would, and so did Edward, but I didn't believe them."

"Why not?"

"You're not happy here." I stated it as a fact, not an opinion. I knew it was truth. "But you came anyway."

He hesitated. "You wanted me here."

"I know. But you didn't have to come, because it's not fair for me to want you here," I mumbled. "I would have understood."

It was quiet again for a few minutes. Edward was watching Rose as she flipped through the TV channels with lightning speed. She seemed to be ignoring us, which was good for now. And I knew Edward was trying to give us privacy, as much as it tortured him. He was definitely getting a big thank you from me later. But Jake deserved one now.

"Thank you for coming," I whispered, taking one of his hands in mine.

"Can I ask you something?"

I nodded. "Of course."

He took a deep breath. "Why _do_ you want me here? Seth could keep you warm, and he's probably easier to be around, happy little punk. But when _I_ walk in the door, you smile like I'm your favorite person in the world."

"You're one of them," I answered honestly.

"That sucks, you know."

"Yeah." I sighed, a bit stung by the bitterness of his tone. But I deserved it. "Sorry."

"Why, though? You didn't answer that."

Now I took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to put my feelings into words. "It feels…_complete_ when you're here, Jacob. Like all my family is together. I mean, I guess that's what it's like – I've never had a big family before now. It's nice." I smile briefly. It was very very nice. "But it's just not whole unless you're here."

"I'll never be part of your family, Bella."

I shook my head fiercely. "You've always been a part of my family."

His teeth ground together with a loud snap. "That's a crap answer."

"What's a good one?" I murmured, frowning.

"How about, 'Jacob, I get a kick out of your pain.'"

I flinched away from the harshness of his voice, and his words. Ouch. That was a low blow, and it really hurt.

"You'd like that better?" I whispered almost inaudibly.

"It's easier, at least," he shrugged. "I could wrap my head around it. I could deal with it."

I closed my eyes, not wanting to stare at him any longer. I could see the pain and anger resonating almost tangibly from him, and I was afraid that I'd yell at him or start crying if I didn't break away. I drew my eyebrows together and frowned, staring only into blackness. "We got off track, Jake. Out of balance. You're supposed to be part of my life – I can feel that, and so can you."

I stopped for a minute, trying to phrase my next thought. But also wondering if he would deny my words. I kept my eyes closed, and after a minute of silence, continued. "But not like this. We did something wrong. No. I did. I did something wrong, and we got off track…"

I wanted to continue, but as I mumbled quietly I realized I was lulling myself to sleep. I knew I was beyond exhausted, but I hadn't wanted to drift off before Jake came back. But he was here now…so I didn't try to stop the pull of unconsciousness.

I heard Edward murmur, "She's exhausted," to him, and then I was out cold.

* * *

I had no idea how long I'd slept, but I knew it couldn't be much. Not even an hour, if I were to guess. I'd heard a loud crash in the back of my mind, but the booming solid laughter of my werewolf best friend was what truly dragged me back to the surface.

"What's so funny?" I mumbled absentmindedly as I tried to get my bearings.

"I got food in her hair," Jake snickered, nodding towards Rose.

Oh. Well that explained it.

"I'm not going to forget this, dog," she hissed back at him, causing me to internally sigh. She and Edward fought enough; I didn't need she and Jacob tearing each other apart, too.

_Please drop it_, I silently begged him. _Please, please, just drop it._

No suck luck.

"S'not so hard to erase a blonde's memory," he shrugged casually. "Just blow in her ear."

"Get some new jokes," she snapped, glowering.

"C'mon Jake. Leave Rose alo-"

I broke off mid-sentence as something sharp pierced me. Or at least that's what it felt like. I sucked in a shallow breath. What a wake-up call.

Edward quickly ripped the blankets covering me away, giving me room to move – or writhe in pain.

"He's just…stretching," I panted, nodding to myself. I pressed my lips together tightly, trying not to let any noise escape me.

He gently took my face in his hands, staring intensely into my eyes.

"Carlisle?" he called in a low, hard voice.

"Right here," Carlisle answered from somewhere behind him. Oh no. I didn't want any more shots of morphine. No more needles.

"Okay," I managed to say, still gasping for air. Things were still though, so I figured the baby had stopped. "Think it's over. Poor kid doesn't have enough room, that's all. He's getting so big."

I smiled to myself as I stretched my hand across my stomach and brushed it lightly. The pain and broken bones didn't matter to me; all that mattered was _him_. And, in just a few days, he'd finally be mine to hold and adore forever.

"You know," I murmured quietly, "he reminds me of you, Jake."

"Do _not_ compare me to that thing," he spat harshly, surprising me with the force of his rage.

"I just meant your growth spurt," I whispered, hurt. He didn't have to be so cruel to me. "You shot right up. I could watch you getting taller by the minute. He'd like that, too. Growing so fast."

I waited for him to fire back at me, mentally preparing myself for the impact. I don't know why I did this to him, or to myself. Maybe I was just that much of a masochist. Edward had nothing on me. Jake went through hell; now I deserved to have it thrown back in my face.

But he never responded. I chanced a glance, and he looked like he was biting his tongue, keeping his mouth glued together. I almost wanted to tell him to just snarl whatever it was that he was dying to tell me, but I restrained myself. And, after a minute, I relaxed again, the wave of exhaustion returning. My eyes slipped closed again and I fell limp against the couch cushions, Edward still right beside me. And Jake directly below me, his arm still laid across my body, keeping me warm. That was all I needed in that moment to be at peace.

* * *

(A/N:) Sorry sorry sorry...I lied again. Late as usual. Completely my fault. I'm not even going to try to defend myself. I lost track of time again, and because I'm the biggest idiot in the world, I actually _forgot _that I was going on vacation...so, yeah. Sorry it took so long, and sorry this chapter's kinda short. I wanted to make it longer...but then it wouldn't quite flow well with the book. Only two chapters left, and then this thing's finally finished!!!

--Steph


	10. Change

17. CHANGE

When I woke up Jake was gone. Edward had taken his place, resting his arm across mine and keeping a cool hand on my face. The sun was up already – as much as it could be in Forks – and I could hear the light sprinkling of gentle rain outside. I yawned and stretched my arms out as slowly and carefully as I could manage, but even then it still hurt terribly.

"Bella?" Edward murmured quietly, stroking my cheek with the hand on my face.

"Good morning," I mumbled back, trying to dislodge the thick sleepiness from my voice.

"How do you feel?"

I frowned. Of course that would be his first greeting; it had almost become routine. "I'm all right, just tired."

He sighed deeply. He knew I was lying. "Are you thirsty?"

"Yeah, I am," I replied, nodding.

I hadn't noticed her before, but as soon as the words left my mouth, Rosalie jumped up from her chair and swept into the kitchen to retrieve my glass. When she returned, I thanked her and took the plastic from her hands, latching my lips onto the straw and taking a deep sip.

"Where's Jake?" I asked Edward after I finished my third mouthful.

"On patrol," he answered. "He left several hours ago."

"Oh." I hesitated. "Do you think he'll come back?"

He sighed again. "He always has, hasn't he?"

I didn't respond.

We both sat in silence for a long time after that, the only sounds being the rain and the blood in my glass flowing up the straw as I drank. Rosalie watched me carefully out of the corner of her eye, and when I raised my eyebrows at her she glanced away. I didn't mind her looking out for me, but lately she'd gone a bit overboard with the security thing. I was eternally thankful for her generosity and support, but I just wished she and Edward were more civil around each other. It was exhausting just listening to their arguments, and more than often I had to step in before a fight could break out. I wanted them both near me, but lately it was hard to have them in the same room for more than a minute.

I jumped slightly as Edward suddenly shot up, glancing between me and Rosalie with a frantic expression. My heart sped up as an automatic reaction, irrational fear quickly consuming my thoughts.

"Edward, what is it?" I asked weakly, setting the glass down.

He ignored me, turning his full attention toward Rosalie. "Did you hear that?"

She arched an eyebrow questioningly, her eyes clearly telling me that she had no idea what he was talking about.

I reached up and tugged lightly on his shirtsleeve, willing him to look at me and sit back down. "Hear what?"

"I'm serious, Rosalie," he snapped. "Don't give me that look!"

"Edward, calm down!" I tugged again, and he finally glanced down. His eyes were wide with panic, making my heart beat even faster.

"How do you feel, Bella?" he urged me, grabbing my hand from his shirt and holding it tightly in both of his.

"W-what? You just asked me that a few minutes ago!"

"Answer the question," he demanded, squeezing my fragile hand tighter. I knew the blood had stopped circulating through it; it was completely numb in his grasp.

"I..I feel the same?" I responded, my words coming out like a question themselves. I was completely lost and didn't understand why he was in so much of a fright. But it scared me; he was acting like a madman. Not my Edward at all.

"Are you sure? You don't feel anymore pain?" he prodded, almost like he was trying to force the truth out of me. "Like another broken bone?"

"What?! No, Edward. I'm fine, I swear!"

"Don't say that!" he yelled, silencing me at once. I shrank back against the couch cushions, fighting back the tears that had suddenly built up. I tried to pull my hand free, but he kept it locked in his iron grip.

He shot me a glare before turning back to Rose. "She doesn't know what she's talking about! She's lying to me to spare me the pain," he growled at her. "But I can hear better than she can! And I can feel her agony…stop scowling at me like that! Get the hell over here and help me take her to Carlisle!"

"Edward, shut up!" she hissed. "_You_ don't know what you're talking about. You've snapped again. Now cool it before I'm forced to tie you down."

"How can you say that, when Bella is hurting like this?! I thought it was your job to protect her!"

"It is! But how can I protect her from herself? And there's nothing else wrong! I would have heard it."

"Well _I_ heard it. And I'm taking her if you won't."

"Edward, stop!" She jumped to her feet, her beautiful figure quaking with rage.

"Stay back," he snapped. "Stay away."

I couldn't remember having ever been more terrified of him in my life. He'd never lost it like this before, and despite my mind screeching at me to defend myself and try to escape, I would never leave him. It was my fault he'd sank to this, so it was my responsibility to help him through it.

"Edward…"

He turned and looked down at me, his expression instantly morphing into overwhelming anxiety and grief. "Bella, I'm so sorry. I never wanted this to happen to you. If only I had known…"

"Edward, listen to me," I said calmly, taking my free hand and reaching up to gently place it on his cheek. "Rose is right. Please, just try to relax. I haven't broken another bone, I promise."

By some miracle, it seemed to work. I knew I had influence over him, but it never ceased to surprise me when he responded to my touch. Almost like I responded to his. His posture loosened, and the look of panic eventually vanished from his face. But I could still feel the tension beneath his skin, tight and painful, and I knew he must have realized he was scaring me. He was playing it off now to ease _my _stress.

"Are you sure?" he whispered carefully, releasing my other hand.

I nodded as I pulled it back into my lap, leaving the other on his face. "I promise. I would have felt it."

"But I heard something…can we please just check?"

I sighed deeply, closing my eyes for a second. "Would it help you relax?"

"Yes."

I nodded again, staring back into his eyes in defeat. "Very well."

He looked relieved. "Thank you."

I was annoyed that I had to take another X-ray, this time an entirely unnecessary one, but if it made Edward happy, I'd have taken a million. I threw my arms around his neck when he cautiously picked me up, burying my face in his shoulder to let him know that I forgave him for frightening me. He seemed to understand, and he gently placed one hand on the back of my head and stroked my hair as he began ascending the stairs.

Rose followed behind us, looking thoroughly aggravated. I heard her muttering under her breath, and whatever she said caused Edward to stiffen again. But like before, he played it off and continued walking.

Carlisle didn't look surprised to see us; no doubt he'd heard the disastrous outbreak downstairs. He was waiting in the medical room, already setting up the X-ray machine. I sighed internally and sank a little deeper into Edward's body, and he gave me a little apologetic frown before placing me on the hard bench. I stretched out and closed my eyes and waited for Carlisle to begin.

It seemed to go by faster this time, but maybe it was just because I was starting to get used to it all. Edward helped me sit up, and we both watched as Carlisle extracted the results and waited for them to develop. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully, making small humming sounds as he scanned the glossy sheets with narrowed eyes. After a minute, he nodded and glanced up at us.

"Well, I don't see anything, Edward," he said quietly, giving a small smile. "It seems that Rosalie was right. One of her ribs is weakening, but that's nothing that can't be fixed. Her pelvis is still intact, though."

Even though I'd known I was fine, the confirmation from a legendary doctor took an immense weight off my shoulders. I let out a sigh of relief and returned Carlisle's smile.

"See, I _told _you I didn't hear a crack," Rose started goading Edward. I wished she wouldn't; he'd really been upset by this. "You need your ears checked, Edward."

He didn't respond, and I shot him a worried look. His eyes met mine, and the corner of his lip curved slightly in an attempt at a smile, but only to placate me. He was in no mood to celebrate.

He gently picked me up and without a word turned around and walked out of the room. His face betrayed no emotion, but I knew exactly what he was feeling. Over his shoulder I could see Rose walking behind us, a smug smile twisting her lips. She noticed the frown I was wearing, and the look quickly disappeared. She actually looked sympathetic for once. The thought comforted me slightly.

As we reached the bottom, I heard quiet voices talking near the front door. I looked up and saw Jacob and Alice staring at me, the former with his seemingly permanent look of despair plastered across his face. I knew how I looked; I'd caught a brief glimpse of myself in the medical room's mirror. I was whiter than ever, and my limbs were thinner than any anorexic's. But despite how weak and exhausted I was, I couldn't stop the huge smile that spread across my face as I realized that he'd come back once again. A surge of warmth passed through me, and I felt immense happiness. I had the best friend that the world could offer.

"Jake," I whispered.

He didn't answer, but just continued to watch. Edward laid me down on the couch again, placing a blanket over my legs, and then settled on the floor near my head. I let my hand fall casually from my side, hoping he'd take it. He did.

Carlisle came down the stairs then, stopping in the middle of the floor, his eyes distant and his face creased with worry. I noticed how it seemed to make him look older, more human.

"Carlisle," Jake spoke for the first time. "We went halfway to Seattle. There's no sign of the pack. You're good to go."

"Thank you, Jacob," he responded, looking slightly relieved. "This is good timing. There's much that we need." I wasn't sure if I imagined it, but his eyes flickered to the cup of blood that I was still holding.

"Honestly, I think you're safe to take more than three. I'm pretty positive that Sam is concentrating on La Push."

Carlisle nodded. "If you think so. Alice, Esme, Jasper, and I will go. Then Alice can take Emmett and Rosa-"

"Not a chance," Rose hissed. My eyes flashed to her and quickly away. Her glares always terrified me. "Emmett can go with you now."

"You should hunt," Carlisle said gently.

"I'll hunt when _he_ does," she growled, motioning to Edward and flipping her long platinum hair back.

Carlisle sighed, obviously too tired to argue. And regardless, it was never a good idea to fight with Rosalie.

In the next instant, Jasper and Emmett had appeared at the bottom of the stairs. Alice accompanied them and they waited by the glass back door for Carlisle. Esme drifted over to them as well, and Alice pulled her into a hug. We all knew how much all this was taking a toll on Esme, and being the mother figure of the house; it had to be more extreme than any of the guilt and burdens we were suffering.

Carlisle placed his hand on Jake's arm, and to my surprise, he didn't flinch or back away. But it seemed to me that he'd been harboring a soft spot for the doctor, ever since he cared for Jake's extensive injuries a few months ago.

"Thank you," Carlisle said in a grateful voice, and then he took Esme's hand and darted out the door with the others. They were gone in a flash, disappearing into the still-dark forest of the early morning.

There was a minute of silence following their departure, and then Jake sauntered over to the armchair between Rose's and my couch and settled in. His head was tilted in my direction, and I gave him a small smile. He didn't seem to be paying attention, though.

"Ew. Someone put the dog out," Rose complained, wrinkling her nose against the werewolf smell. I still found it hard to believe that they smelled that disgusting to my vampire family; Jake always smelled wonderful to me. Rich and woodsy, like the forests surrounding Forks. A very calm, earthy smell. But then again, the vampires smelled horrible to the werewolves. _That_ was impossible to believe. Edward's scent was a distinctive mix of floral and sugary; like rose petals and vanilla. And in an inexplicable way, rain. Of course it was part of his predatory draw, but to me it meant home. I remembered his hand that I was holding, and gave it a light squeeze.

"Have you heard this one, Psycho?" Jake taunted her, making me frown. "How do a blonde's brain cells die?"

Thankfully, she didn't answer. She seemed to have more control and sense of self-preservation than he did. But in all honestly, I don't know who would win in a fight. Jake was bigger, and the single born enemy of vampires, but I had a feeling none of them had ever dealt with the likes of a vampire resembling Rosalie. She was certainly a sight to behold.

"Well?" he persisted. "Do you know the punch line or not?"

She picked up the TV remote and switched the plasma screen on, pointedly ignoring him.

Frustrated, he turned to Edward. "Has she heard it?"

I glanced down at Edward's expression. It was still the same; no sign of humor. Just pure, intimidating seriousness. "No."

"Awesome," he exclaimed, enthusiasm returned. "So you'll enjoy this, bloodsucker – a blonde's blood cells die _alone_."

Rose never turned her head, or moved in the slightest. "I have killed a hundred times more often than you have, you disgusting beast. Don't forget that."

"Someday, Beauty Queen, you're going to get tired of just threatening me," he said firmly, unsatisfied by her response. "I'm really looking forward to that."

That was my breaking point. "Enough, Jacob," I hissed at him, letting disapproval color my tone. I didn't want anymore fighting in this house. It had already gone on for far too long.

He glanced over at me and frowned at my scowl. "You want me to take off?"

I blinked, caught off guard by his immediate conclusion. I was shocked he would take that as a dismissal, when I'd personally asked for him to return. "No! Of course not."

He sighed heavily and gave a slight nod. I watched him carefully, saddened by how tired he looked. Like Carlisle, and Edward, and the rest of my family. It was all my fault.

"You look tired," I said softly.

He didn't argue. "Dead beat."

I frowned again and he slumped deeper into his chair in an attempt to get comfortable. I knew he didn't like being here, but I was too selfish to let him go. I almost felt like I was holding him hostage at times.

The hand that wasn't locked with Edward's still clutched my now-empty glass of blood. I realized I was thirsty, and asked Rose to get me a refill. She rose silently from her chair and took the glass from my outstretched hand, disappearing upstairs.

Jake looked like he was about to crash, and he deserved to. I would have insisted on making him sleep in one of the guest rooms where there was a comfortable bed, but he'd never accept the offer. And I myself was growing too tired to think of arguing again.

I closed my eyes and allowed my mind to wander, knowing exactly where it would go. My recent daydreams seemed to be dominated by my fantasy honeymoon, and as the days passed I'd realized that I missed the little island more and more. Once I was a vampire, I would have to beg Edward to take me back for an extended vacation. And this time we wouldn't have to worry about annoying human tribulations like starvation and sleep deprivation…and pregnancy. Though the last would never seem a setback for me; I'd go through this endless pain again if it meant having another baby with Edward. But I knew I'd never get the chance. And for all things considered, I was okay with that.

"Did you say something?" Edward asked suddenly, pulling me from my reverie. His voice sounded confused.

He turned and stared up at me, and I stared back. His face was bewildered, too, causing my expression to mirror his.

"Me? I didn't say anything."

He hesitated for a second and dropped my hand, and then turned around and balanced on his knees to he could look directly down on me. His face was as intense as ever, but it a much different way. It wasn't harsh and depressing, it was just focused.

"What are you thinking about right now?"

I stared at him blankly. "Nothing. What's going on?"

He narrowed his eyes slightly and pursed his lips. I vaguely noticed that Jake was watching us, and he looked just as confused as me. Rosalie stood a ways behind him, holding my glass with one hand and raising her eyebrows.

"What were you thinking about a minute ago?" Edward asked, catching my attention again.

"Just…Esme's island," I admitted, blushing. "And feathers."

His gaze softened noticeably, and he whispered, "Say something else."

"Like what?" I was beyond perplexed by this point. "Edward, what's going on?"

He didn't answer, but what he did next shocked me. I saw Jake's face, and heard Rose gasp, and knew that they were just as staggered as I was.

Hesitating again, he reached forward and very lightly put his hands on both sides of my stomach. His expression was now one of wonder, and disbelief; the same look he would always give me when we first started dating. I couldn't imagine what would give him that same feeling now.

"The f-" He paused, swallowing. "It…the baby likes the sound of your voice."

There was a single beat of total silence. Nothing registered; no one breathed. Then what he'd said hit me.

"_Holy crow, you can hear him!" _I shouted, startled again. In the next moment I winced as a sharp pain struck me.

Edward's hand moved to the top of my stomach, and he gently rubbed the spot where the baby had kicked me.

"Shh," he murmured. "You startled it…him."

My eyes widened and I carefully patted my side before placing my hand over Edward's. "Sorry, baby."

His eyes narrowed again, fully concentrated, as he tilted closer and tried to hear.

"What's he thinking now?" I asked, unable to contain my excitement.

"It…he or she, is…" He raised his head and stared straight into my eyes, his own eyes wide and filled with awe, even if it was lesser and slightly grudging. "He's _happy_," he whispered incredulously.

My breath caught in the back of my throat as an unexpected flood of emotions ran through me. A strong warmth passed from my fingertips to the rest of my body, and before I could help it, I was crying. A smile spread across my lips as I stared at Edward, and he smiled back. A real, solid smile. The first one I'd seen in far too long.

"Of course you're happy, pretty baby, of course you are," I beamed as I rubbed my stomach. "How could you not be, all safe and warm and loved? I love you so much, little EJ, of course you're happy."

"What did you call him," Edward asked curiously.

I blushed again, realizing that I'd never shared my little secret. "I sort of named him," I admitted, biting my lip. "I didn't think you would want…well, you know."

"EJ?"

"Your father's name was Edward, too," I reminded him.

"Yes, it was," he agreed, nodding slightly. "What-?"

He paused and closed his eyes, and when he opened them there was no trace of reluctance left. Only the same overwhelming warmth that I felt. "Hmm."

"What?" I asked tentatively.

"He likes my voice, too."

My smile widened, if that was possible. Edward deserved this happiness after all that he'd been through. I was glad that at least for now, I could give it to him.

"Of course he does," I said adamantly. "You have the most beautiful voice in the universe. Who wouldn't love it?"

"Do you have a backup plan?" Rosalie asked then, leaning over the back of the couch. I'd almost forgotten she was here, and now as I looked up at her she had the same look of wonder on her face. And perhaps a big of smugness. "What if he's a she?"

I wiped the back of my hand under my eyes, clearing away my tears so I could see better. Personally, I had a strong feeling that my nudger was a boy; in fact I refused to believe anything but that. I'd visualized my little Edward enough to have him memorized to perfection. But at the same time, the idea of a little girl with long flowing hair and big black-lashed eyes warmed my heart just the same. Either way, our child would be beautiful, and perfect.

"I kicked a few things around," I told Rose, shrugging slightly. "Playing with Renée and Esme. I was thinking…Ruh-_nez_-may."

"Ruhnezmay?"

"R-e-n-e-s-m-e-e," I said, unsure. "Too weird?"

"No, I like it," she assured me, leaning closer. "It's beautiful. And it's one of a kind, so _that_ fits."

"I still think he's an Edward." I glanced over at the namesake, but he was staring off in a daze. "What? What's he thinking?"

He didn't answer at first, but then he leaned forward and laid his ear gently against my stomach, shocking me again.

"He loves you," he whispered. "He absolutely _adores_ you."

An even more potent wave of warmth and bliss washed over me, the force of it nearly knocking me back against the couch. Tears filled my eyes again, and I knew I wouldn't be able to speak if I'd wanted to.

I grabbed Edward's hand and entwined my fingers with his, before bringing our hands to the baby. I was completely oblivious to anyone besides the three of us; we were our own little family within our much larger family.

But suddenly Jake jumped to his feet and I was brought back to reality. I took one look at his face, and part of the warmth resonating from inside me hardened over into jagged ice. Edward and Rose were watching him, too, and I was surprised to see the anguish on the former's face as he watched my best friend struggle to survive the pain that so blatantly tortured him.

"Ahh," he gasped in a choked voice, ripping his hand from mine and jumping up himself. I watched as he dashed to a small end table on the opposite side of the room, yanking the drawer open and pulling something out. It flashed in the light, and I saw what it was – car keys.

He tossed them to Jake and he caught them reflexively, his face still looking like a caged animal; desperate for an escape.

"Go, Jacob," Edward told him, giving him what he wanted. "Get away from here."

Jake met my eyes for the briefest second, and then he turned on his heel and ran out the door. I looked at the empty spot where, just a second ago, he'd been sitting, and was hit by a crippling sense of desolation. Even the surge of pleasure from my baby couldn't bring me peace. I glanced at my husband and frowned, creasing my eyebrows. This cycle of pain was never going to end, was it?

* * *

(A/N:) This chapter is ridiculously overdue, and it's ridiculously short because the chapter in the book is ridiculously short. Apologies to any readers I may still have; I've been majorly slacking and working on a ton of other stuff...including a new story that I'll begin posting chapters to in a few weeks :D Anway, sorry again. Please review! One chapter left and then you can pick up Breaking Dawn to finish where it left off :)

--Steph


	11. Shock

18. SHOCK

I couldn't help but feel that the moment was ruined after Jake's departure. I knew why he left, and I wasn't angry or upset that he didn't even bother to say goodbye. I was angry with myself for allowing that to happen to him. I couldn't imagine the feeling of watching my best friend and her husband fawn over their child…and it certainly helped a bit that he still seemed to be in love with me.

I let out a deep sigh and Rose patted me lightly on the shoulder.

"Don't worry about the mutt," she soothed, smiling a bit condescendingly. "He'll be fine. He just needs to learn to toughen up a bit."

I shook my head, weakly swatting her hand away. "No! That's not the point."

Edward walked back to the couch and collapsed on the cushions next to me, pressing his hand to his forehead and massaging his temple. His eyebrows were furrowed and he looked deeply distressed. I reached out to take his free hand, and he glanced at me once the icy hardness of his skin hit mine.

"Edward?"

He sighed lightly. "Forget it, love. Rosalie is right; Jacob will be fine." He grasped my hand tighter, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb along my warm flesh. "Just…give him some time."

"Okay." I scooted over a bit to be closer to him, but found the movement painful and difficult. I frowned, pursing my lips in frustration.

He watched my little battle with an emotionless face, but after watching me give up, he freed his hands and carefully scooped me up and placed me on his lap. I gave him a tiny smile, and he returned it. I noted that he suddenly looked older; more tired, though I knew that wasn't possible.

"For now, I suggest we just focus on you," he told me, gently touching my nose with his index finger. "You will be having our son very soon."

My frown deepened. As much as I was looking forward to being a mom and becoming a vampire, the thought of the delivery still made me want to faint. "Oh…right."

He chuckled quietly. "It'll all be over soon, Bella. And the pain will have been worth it, I promise."

I nodded. "I know. But I'm still not looking forward to it."

"Which part?"

I hesitated. "Either…but I guess the transformation is worse."

He sighed again, his good humor suddenly vanished. "I can understand that only too well."

"No, don't go there," I pleaded. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean it like that."

His eyes reflected his sadness as he turned back to me. "I know. But I'll still never forgive myself for what I'm about to do to you."

"No Edward, you said it yourself," I told him firmly. "It will be worth it. We'll have our son, and then I get to be with you forever."

"Forever is a long time," he said warily.

"It is," I agreed. "But I'm ready to spend it with you. And besides, it's not like we have much of a choice anymore. If I don't become a vampire…I die. Very soon."

He flinched slightly. "You're right. We don't have a choice."

I took his hand in mine again and led it to my stomach, resting our palms on the bridge between our baby and the outside world. "We never did," I whispered, smiling sadly.

A single tear rolled down my cheek, and Edward reached out and brushed it away with his free hand. "Shh. Don't cry, love. He doesn't like it when you're sad."

I sighed and gently patted the giant bulge. "I'm okay, my little nudger." I smiled again, feeling a surge of warmth at the forgotten nickname rolling off my tongue. "I'm so excited to meet you."

"As am I," Edward agreed, kissing the top of my hand. "We're parents, Bella."

I shook my head in disbelief. "Wow. We really are, huh?"

He nodded slowly. "You know this is going to change things, right?"

"Well, of course. We have a little life to care for."

"And to raise and adore and love," he murmured, this time leaning over to kiss my nose.

"He'll be a good boy," I announced, knowing my words were true. "We were both taught right from wrong, and our manners are perfect."

"Yes, but it's different when you're a vampire," Edward sighed.

"Don't you dare go there again," I warned him. I leaned in to give him a chaste kiss on the lips. "Not anymore. We're past that now."

"I know." He kissed me again, and let out another deep sigh.

"Just listen...I can almost feel his little heartbeat inside me."

"Mmmm." He smiled slightly and nodded. "Truly amazing."

"What's he thinking about now?" I asked curiously. "I want to know every thought that passes through his little mind."

Edward gave a light chuckle. "Now don't you go abusing my talent."

"I'm not abusing it," I mumbled, slightly offended. "It's just an added perk that my husband can read minds. And don't you want to know, too?"

"I was only kidding, love. And yes, of couse."

I waited as he closed his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows, his expression of concentration. He nodded once, and then his lips spread into a full and dazzling smile.

"What is it?" I demanded eagerly.

"It's incredible...really," he sighed, opening his eyes to look at me. Despite the pitchness of their color, they reflected the warmth and emotion flowing through him, and I couldn't help but return his smile.

"He understands us, to an extent."

My mouth dropped open before I could stop it. "Are you _serious?_!"

He nodded again. "And he doesn't want to hurt you...he understands his strength. He...he _loves_ you, already. It's remarkable."

I let out a short, disbelieving laugh. "I have the most amazing child in the world."

"I think you mean _we_ do," Edward murmured, leaning forward to capture my lips in another sweet kiss.

"And he loves me," I cried happily.

"I don't know how anyone could not," he smiled. Behind us, I heard Rosalie groan. Poor girl; I kept forgetting she was around.

I was about to say something else, but suddenly Edward's head snapped up and his eyes darted to the front door. A few seconds later, Rose mimicked his actions; her pitch eyes narrowed threateningly. I didn't understand the exchange, and I tugged lightly on Edward's sleeve. He looked back to me at once.

"What is it?" I asked him quietly, furrowing my eyebrows in concern.

He shook his head once and sighed. "An enemy or a friend, I'm not quite sure. Her thoughts are making me lean toward the former, though."

My expression changed to confusion. "Who?"

"Leah."

_"Leah?"_ I repeated, stunned. "What's she doing here?"

"I'm not quite sure." He frowned. "She's in her wolf form still, but I think she wants to talk." He looked up at Rosalie. "Can you watch Bella for a second?"

"Of course," she replied instantly.

He nodded and stood up, gently stroking one hand through my hair before he crossed the room and opened the door, disappearing outside. Rose noticed the almost empty cup I'd left on the side table, and she quickly asked if I wanted more. I nodded, and she was back in a matter of seconds with a full glass.

"You'd better be careful, though," she cautioned as I took a deep sip from it, letting the blood wash over my tongue and down my throat. "There's only enough to last a few more hours."

I choked on my next mouthful, almost spitting it out as I tried to regain my breath. "What?!"

She shrugged. "Well you knew we were running low. Carlisle should be bringing some more back, though. They went hunting, but they also stopped in at a few major hospitals around Washington. Alice called earlier to tell us."

I relaxed a bit. "Oh. Okay."

"Don't worry. You're not going to starve to death or anything." She rolled her eyes in exasperation.

I didn't know what to say to that, but before I could think of a proper reply, the front door flew open and slammed hard into the inside wall. I looked up, startled, as a curvy young woman with short black hair and copper skin marched into the room with a livid posture.

Uh oh. This couldn't be good.

Her eyes were fixed on me, sharp as daggers, and I realized that my heart had subconsciously started beating faster. Edward followed her inside, and I could easily see from his expression that he wasn't happy she was here. I was just alarmed that she wasn't a wolf; I guess when she said she wanted to talk, she meant she wanted to talk to _me._ I couldn't imagine why, though. I honestly couldn't remember the last time I'd talked to her; it had to have been months ago.

She stopped several feet away from my couch, and Edward crossed in front of her to recapture his seat by my side. I sank into him gratefully, watching as Leah crossed her arms over her tank top-clad chest and narrowed her eyes, drawing her eyebrows into a dangerous slope. She didn't say anything, but her thoughts must have been enough to provoke Edward. His hands instantly tightened into fists, but I placed my palms over his and loosened his fingers enough to slip my hand into his, giving it a squeeze.

I turned my attention back to Leah, beginning to grow uncomfortable in the long silence. "Good morning, Leah," I tried to say politely. The last thing I wanted to do was offend her; she was tough and wouldn't hesitate to act.

"Save it, Swan," she snapped at me. "Oh wait, I forgot…it's _Cullen_, now." She sneered, causing me to shrink back into Edward's side. He hissed at her in response, and Rosalie quickly followed his lead.

Leah barked a laugh. "You too, kitties. I didn't come here to see who could purr the loudest."

That was enough for Rose. I tried to reach for her as she stood up to her full height, an advantage over Leah, and stalked over, her own eyes reflecting the same deadly glint. She brushed me off and kept her focus on the young Quileute woman, causing my frown to deepen.

"If I were you, I'd watch my mouth," Rosalie snarled, poking her in the chest accusingly. "This is our house, and we can kick you out at any time."

"How dare you touch me!" Leah growled, knocking her hand out of the way. "You can try. Go ahead, either of you. Try to stop me before I finish what I came here for."

"Edward wouldn't dare fight you," Rose huffed. "But I'm a girl too, so I won't hold back. If that's how you want to play…"

"Stop it, both of you!" I yelled. The action caused my weakened voice to shatter, and Edward instantly shot me a worried look as I struggled to regain my composure.

Rosalie gave me a mild glare, but she huffed and flipped her hair back; a sign that she wasn't going to argue. "Fine. She's not worth fighting, anyway."

"As if," Leah shot back, crossing her arms and jutting out her curvy hips. "I didn't come here to fight. I'm exhausted, so don't waste your time, Princess."

"Leah." Edward spoke in a low, threatening voice that I knew only too well. "My sister is right. We aren't required to let you invade our home and harass us. Now, I'm deeply grateful for the work you're doing for us; you and your brother. But don't forget your place."

Her eyes narrowed into slits, giving her the full effect of an angry animal, which in all technicality she was. I watched as her eyes switched from Edward to Rose, and then finally to me. The hatred emanating from them was almost too much to handle.

"What are you really here for?" Edward demanded. "Your thoughts tell me that you wish to speak to Bella, but your body indicates otherwise. Unlike what Rosalie said, I will_ not_ hesitate to restrain you if you come any closer to my wife."

"Very well," she sneered, running her hand through her short raven hair. "I _do_ want to talk to her. Alone."

"I'm afraid I can't do that for you," he growled, his voice clearly giving her a warning. "Whatever it is you need to say, I'm confident you can say it in my and Rosalie's presence."

Leah's lips contorted into a hard scowl, but she nodded. It looked like she was trying very hard to control herself; whatever this was about, it clearly angered her to a dangerous level. I tried to rack my brain for anything that I could have done to her, but couldn't think of anything.

"Bella," she said slowly, forcing her eyes to meet mine again. I flushed under the intensity of her stare, nervous from the attention.

"Yes?"

"I was just wondering why you feel the need to manipulate others into forfeiting their lives for you, and then disregarding their struggles without even a second glance."

I stared at her in shock, barely registering what she'd said. It made no sense. "What?"

"Don't you dare pretend to not know what you're doing to your _best friend_," she hissed. "Don't you dare ignore what you're doing to Jake."

It felt like a knife through my heart as she spoke that last word, and suddenly I understood. She wasn't here for her; she was here to protect Jacob from the mistreatment I'd bestowed upon him. And I couldn't have felt more grateful, or more stung, by the action.

"Back down," Edward spat at her, beginning to rise up from his seat. I grabbed his arm and tugged him down harshly, knowing it would do no good but hoping he would obey my silent request. He looked down at me and when I shot him a pleading but fierce look, he did.

I took a deep breath and tried to compose myself before turning back to Leah. I wasn't quite sure what to say; what she'd said was true and there was no denying it. I was completely unjustified in my actions, and Jake shouldn't have to suffer for it. I wanted to slap myself for every time I begged him to stay just a little bit longer...or to come back as soon as he could. But I just couldn't help it; I needed him, and he knew it. But that didn't make it right. Not by a long shot.

"Leah...I'm..."

"You're what?" she snapped. "Because if you're going to say you're sorry, you might as well save your breath. Being sorry doesn't do anything but make you look selfish and weak. If you really cared, you'd do something about it."

Normally I would have felt insulted by her harsh assumption, but I didn't have it in me to fight back. And maybe it was because she was, again, right. I knew Leah was a smart girl; she was more than likely the brightest of the pack. Or at least even with Sam; at first glance I couldn't have imagined them together, but the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. They were very similar in many ways...not that it mattered now. And not that I should care; the majority of the wolves had made it clear that I was no longer welcome in their circle. Once I chose the Cullens, even after everything they'd put me through, there was no turning back.

"I _am_ sorry, though," I said firmly, keeping my eyes locked with hers. "And I would do something about it, but I just don't know what. I don't keep Jake locked here on a chain, if that's what you're wondering."

"You might as well."

I flinched at the ice in her tone, but also at the words themself. Edward released a low growl, but I tightened my grip on his arm, giving him another look.

"Edward, let me handle this. Please," I asked him.

With a resigned sigh, he nodded and leaned back. "Very well. But only if she agrees to play nice. I'm not taking any chances."

"I'm not going to lunge at her, so you can stop worrying your pretty head," Leah scowled.

"Then what do you want?" he hissed.

"I just want her to think about what she's doing!" she screeched, startling me. "I want her to realize that the world doesn't revolve around her, and and her so-called _best friend _has his own life filled with his own problems, and the last thing he really needs is for a spoiled little brat like her to keep him at her feet." She turned her attention back to me. "Honestly, do you even _think?_ Or is that big head of yours just filled with cold and empty space, just like your heart?"

I didn't answer back. Any retort would have been pointless; Leah wasn't one to reason with. I'd realized that upon first meeting her, but it made it so much more real to actually be forced to survive her insults. So I tried to keep my chin up and ignore the truth in her statements, because otherwise I knew I'd fall apart. And I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of seeing me in tears. I'd already humiliated myself enough by breaking down in front of my family on multiple occasions.

"Jacob doesn't deserve to be treated like trash by a low-life like you," she continued, her voice strong and piercing. "You have no right to...you know, I don't even know why he's friends with you. Let alone in _love_ with you! I could never even _tolerate_ someone so narcissistic and demanding. You cling to him like your life depends on him, like you'll die the very second he pulls away. You're _smothering_ him, and if he doesn't stop coming back every time you feel the need to torture him a bit more, I _will_ step in. I'll make sure he never sets foot in this house again. He deserves so much better...I don't want you ever seeing him again. Once you're a filthy, lazy, stuck-up bloodsucker, it's over. You do realize that, right? You at least have the sense to understand that becoming an immortal draws the line so precisely that there's no way to step around it? But really, you made your choice a long time ago. And I will never forgive you for that."

I could feel my restraint weakening; my walls shattering. A single strangled sob escaped my lips without my permission. I couldn't deal with this now. I needed her to leave.

As if reading my mind, Edward suddenly stood up, and this time I didn't stop him. The look on his face was deadly; he met Leah's defiant expression with an underlying threat of physical harm, though I knew he would never actually hurt her. She glared up at him, balling her hands into fists and setting her full lips in a harsh frown. He simply strode up to her, stopping so that his intimidating 6'2" figure towered over her much smaller one, and spoke a single sentence.

"I think you should leave now."

The statement wasn't a request, it was a demand. We both recognized it instantly. Leah gave me one final glower, no doubt a promise that this battle wasn't over, and turned sharply on her heels and stalked out the front door. I watched until the blue fabric of her denim shorts disappeared from view, and then gave in completely to my despair. Hot tears spilled from my eyes and flowed down my cheeks as painful sobs raked through my body, causing it to heave and shudder violently. Edward rushed back to my side, scooping me up into his arms and cradling me close. I breathed in short gasps, unable to speak, and clutched his shirt tightly with my fists. He slowly paced the length of the room, rocking me the entire time and gently trying to shush me.

"It's okay, love," he murmured, pressing his lips to my heated forehead. "Don't listen to anything she says. She was completely out of line."

"But she was right," I moaned, wondering if he could understand my words. They were so choked up and broken.

"No she wasn't," he said firmly, kissing me again. "I swear Bella, if you believe a single word that she forced upon you..."

It continued like this for a better part of the next hour. Eventually, Edward managed to calm me down enough to let me speak properly. He carefully placed me back on the couch and crouched down on the floor in front of me, resting his chin in his hands and leaving his hands against my knees. He looked up at me intently, waiting.

"What do you want me to say?" I asked him as I wiped the remainder of my tears away with the back of my hand.

"What are you thinking?" His voice was subdued and curious, but there was still a hint of malice left from the argument.

I just shook my head. "I really don't want to talk about it."

"Bella," he sighed, lifting one of his hands and running it through his disheveled hair; a nervous habit of his. "I'm concered about your reaction. Obviously it was completely rational, but I don't want you dwelling on those lies. You already have so much going on all at once; Jasper is worried, too. A few days ago he warned me that your stress level was unnaturally high, though I can't say that I'm surprised. You have no idea how proud I am of you for...well, everything. I don't know that I'd be able to handle all the pressure."

I huffed once, mumbling, "But you can do anything."

He rolled his eyes at me. "Now we both know very well that that isn't true."

I looked at him seriously and he gave me a big grin, automatically curving my lips up into a little smile. "Okay."

"So just try to relax, please," he murmured, dropping his head back to my knees. "Don't feel bad about what Leah said. She's just biased and narrow-minded. I'm more than sure that Jacob will reject everything that she -"

"But that's the problem," I interrupted. "He'll only be doing that to make me feel better."

"You don't know that."

"Yes, I do." I nodded as to further prove my point. "I know him better than anyone."

"Ah, but you keep forgetting," Edward said with a slightly crooked smile, "_I_ can read his mind."

I sighed heavily. "I don't know...I just..."

"Shh." He pressed his fingers softly to my lips, causing me to stop.

I gave him a questioning look and he slowly removed his hand. "You're very tired, Bella. This has been an incredibly exhausting morning, both physically and mentally. I suggest that you get some rest, and then we'll talk everything out later."

I was adverse to the idea at first, but after really thinking about it I realized that a bit of sleep sounded wonderful.

"Yeah, okay. That does sound good."

Rosalie came around to my couch and sat down beside me, a blanket already slung around her arm. "I'll stay with you. Just lay down."

I looked up at Edward and he smiled softly. "Don't worry, love. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here as long as you want me to."

I reached for his hand and pulled him closer to me. "Always."

* * *

I had no idea how long I was alseep for, but it couldn't have been long. I'd been thirsty when I fell asleep, and I must have become too parched to continue sleeping. One thing that I did know was that Edward wasn't with me when I woke up. I looked around the large room for him, but he wasn't there. I felt a brief moment of panic, but then I reasoned that he couldn't have gone far. I could always feel when he was near.

"Rose, where's Edward?" I asked Rosalie, who was curled up in one of the chairs beside me, her legs pulled up to her chest and her chin resting on her knees.

She frowned and gave a little huff. "He's in the garage talking to the mutt."

My eyes widened a bit. "Jake's here?"

"Unfortunately."

I felt the instant wave of happiness, but then I remembered Leah's words and, despite what Edward had told me, I let the desolation and self-revulsion hit me. "Oh. That's nice."

She arched an eyebrow at me. "Want some more blood? Alice and Jasper brought some back."

"Alice is here?" I was surprised again, but this time I was able to retain the excitement.

"You'd better believe it, little sister," Alice sang as she suddenly appeared at the bottom of the stairs, a huge grin on her face.

I had to smile back at her. "I missed you."

She rolled her eyes but pranced over to me, cautiously leaning in to give me a gentle hug.

"Doesn't your head hurt, though?" I asked her as she settled down on the floor by my feet.

"Whatever," she shrugged. "Jacob will be here soon enough, and I'm learning to tolerate it. Anyway, it's only one more day."

I furrowed my eyebrows and shot her a quizzical look. "What do you mean?"

She looked surprised. "Oh, Edward didn't tell you? He's trying to convince Carlisle to deliver the...baby as soon as he gets back."

"What?!" I squeaked, stunned.

"Well you have to admit, it's a pretty good idea," she attempted to placate me. "It would only be three more days the other way, and by the time that date comes you could already be a fully transformed vampire."

I tried to allow her reasoning to settle in, but the news was still beyond shocking. Edward was planning this without telling me?!

"Bella?"

I shook my head slightly. "Sorry. I'm just...startled."

"No, it's fine," she quickly assured me. "I just...whoops. I hope Edward doesn't have my neck, now."

I allowed a shaky laugh to escape my lips. "I'm sure he won't. And besides, it's more the matter of _me_ having _his_ neck."

"But he's the vampire."

"I don't care. I will be soon enough...sooner than I'd even planned, thanks to you tipping me off."

She ducked her head. "Sorry."

"No, thanks for the warning. Now I have time to prepare myself."

Alice shot me a worried look. I'm sure she could hear the blatant fear in my voice...and the wild pounding of my heart.

"You're going to be fine, Bella."

"I know."

The corners of her lips lifted into a slight smile. "Then start acting like you know and believe it."

I nodded furiously. "Okay. I can do this. I'll be fine."

She reached over and picked up a glass of blood that Rose must have retrieved for me, and thrust it into my hands. "Drink. You're thirsty; I can tell."

"Huh. Black eyes already and I'm still human."

She gave a light chuckle. "Just drink."

I complied obediately, quickly grateful for her command. I was thirstier that I'd thought; the blood tasted better than ever before in my dehydrated state. Or maybe it was just because it was fresh. I tried to fight the shiver that threatened to roll down my spine.

Just then Edward rushed through the front door, a panicked look on his face.

"Bella, love, I thought you were sleeping," he apologized as he briskly walked to my side, taking his seat on the floor by my head. "I'm sorry, I wouldn't have left."

I could tell he felt guilty for breaking his promise to me, but I really didn't care. He was here now, and that was all that mattered. "Don't worry. I just got so thirsty - it woke me up," I explained.

He cast me a slightly alarmed glance, and I swiftly took his hands in mine and gave them a light squeeze, assuring him that I was all right now.

"It's a good thing Carlisle is bringing more," I continued when he didn't say anything. "This kid is going to need it when he gets out of me."

A spark of understanding lit his eyes, and he nodded once. "True. That's a good point."

"I wonder if he'll want anything else," I mused, suddenly curious. I hadn't really given much thought to the wants and needs of our unborn child lately, as selfish as that sounded. Edward kept me focused on my health and making sure that I had everything that _I _needed.

He gave me a small smile. "I suppose we'll find out."

"Finally," Alice said suddenly, drawing my attention to her. She was looking toward the front door that Edward had appeared from, and when I followed her gaze I saw Jake standing in the frame, an unreadable expression drawn across his face.

I automatically smiled despite myself, feeling the warmth and love that his presense always provided me with. But then in the next instant, Leah's words rang through my mind.

_"Don't you dare pretend to not know what you're doing to your best friend. Don't you dare ignore what you're doing to Jake." _

My smile quickly faltered, and disappeared, leaving me on the verge of tears. I was angry with myself for not being stronger; that last thing I needed was for Jake to feel bad about what Leah had told me. There was no doubt that Edward had told him; I saw the familiar flash of fury in his eyes as he watched me struggle to not fall apart.

"Hey, Bells," he said swiftly, sensing my imminent breakdown and trying to switch the mood. "How ya doing?"

Normally, I would have smiled at his broken but adorable attempts of cheering me up, but today they just made me want to cry all the more. "I'm fine."

"Big day today, huh?" he continued, pretending to act oblivious. "Lots of new stuff?"

That was enough. "You don't have to do that, Jacob."

"Don't know what you're talking about," he brushed me off, moving to the arm of my sofa and sitting down.

I shot him a reproachful look, that he promptly ignored. Oh yeah. I forgot that he was stubborn as a rock. "I'm _so_ s--"

He cut me off, reaching out and gently pinching my lips together with his fingers. I met his eyes and he gave me a look that clearly said, _I don't want to hear it._

I wrapped my hands around his and tried to pull it away, but being as weak as I was, and given he was an inhumanly powerful werewolf, my attempts were severely lacking. "Jake," I mumbled, trying once more to remove his painless but iron grip.

He shook his head, not breaking contact with my eyes. "You can talk when you're not being stupid."

"Fine, I won't say it," I whispered silently, knowing that would break him. I saw in his expression that I'd already won him over.

In the next second, he removed his hand and my lips were free. I smiled internally in victory.

"Sorry!" I blurted quickly, before he could stop me. I smiled at his momentarily startled expression, but then he swiftly composed himself and rolled his eyes, smiling lazily back at me. In that moment, I knew that everything was all right.

After that, neither of us said anything for a while. I wasn't exactly sure what to say, and it just seemed that Jake didn't want to start another conversation. He seemed to be concentrating very hard, never taking his eyes from my face. Under and other circumstances, I would normally feel flustered and self-conscious by the direct attention, but right now it didn't bother me. I kept the smile on my face, just watching as his eyes narrowed ever so slightly and his lips pursed together as he thought.

Finally, he sighed in what felt like defeat. I tilted my head slightly to the side, gradually letting my grin fade into a small frown. I didn't want to ask him what was wrong, but I couldn't stop my curiosity. And then, I felt Edward slowly take my hand in his and give it a light squeeze. I wasn't quite sure what that meant.

"So," I said cautiously, failing in my attempt to sound casual. "How was your day?"

Jake looked at me in a questioning manner, but shrugged. "Great. Went for a drive. Hung out in the park."

I nodded once. "Sounds nice."

"Sure, sure."

I was about to ask him something else, but all the blood I'd been drinking finally caught up with me and I was struck with the poweful urge to use the bathroom.

"Rose?" I asked, making a face. I was annoyed by the fact that I had to interrupt my conversation with Jacob, but there really wasn't much I could do about it. I glanced at him with an apologetic expression as Rosalie chuckled under her breath.

"Again?"

"I think I've drunk two gallons in the last hour," I told her, sighing.

Edward and Jake both rose to their feet and backed away while Rose came to lift me from the couch. As she was about to scoop me up into her arms, I stopped her.

"Can I walk? My legs are so stiff?"

"Are you sure?" Edward asked with worry evident in his tone.

I nodded. "Rose'll catch me if I trip over my feet." I looked down and frowned. "Which could happen pretty easily, since I can't see them."

Rosalie gently placed me on my feet and steadied me, but she didn't move her hands from my shoulders. I took a deep breath and tried to stretch my arms out. It hurt a bit, making me wince, but overall it felt wonderful. I hadn't been able to properly move in days.

"That feels good," I smiled. "Ugh, but I'm huge."

No one commented, but I didn't miss the glances to my stomach. Oh well.

"One more day," I said, patting it lightly. It truly was hard to believe. One more day, and Edward and I would be holding our child in our arms. _Our child._ It was still a near-ridiculous concept to grasp.

"All righty, then," I said, bringing myself back to reality just in time to notice the glass I'd left on the couch had fallen over, the blood inside spilling out onto the white fabric. "Whoops--oh, no!"

I reached for the cup automatically, ignoring the other hands that reached for it, too. But then I could feel it; something inside me ripping and breaking. Something was very wrong.

x.x CONTINUE ON PAGE 370 OF BREAKING DAWNx.x

* * *

(A/N:) Well...it took me long enough, but it is finally complete! Sorry about the delay; I know that despite my completely legit excuses, I really have no excuse for putting this off so long. Now you can all pick up your copies of Breaking Dawn and finish the story the way it was intended; from Bella's mind all the way from beginning to end :)

Please review and let me know if there's any canon one-shots or anything you'd like me to do, from any character's POV. I'm always open to new ideas. And, starting in a few weeks, I'll be posting chapters to my new AU/AH story 'Until the End'. It's a bit different than my normal style of writing, but I hope you'll enjoy it nonetheless. Thank you one and all!!!

--Steph


End file.
